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Termyn8or -> RE: 23 Adult Truths (11/21/2011 12:05:00 AM)
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Being a cocky OP, I reserve the right to follow suit. BTW are there ANY fucking pinochle players here or are my family the only MFs smart enough to play it ?
"1 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. "
I will never wear a watch. I see wearing a watch as a symbol of being a slave to time. Go figure.
"2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. "
Been there in spades, with guns and might as well have been on steroids. Fucked up bigtime.
"3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger."
Sleep is like death in a way so if I prefer sleep...............
"4. There is great need for a sarcasm font."
This IS the sarcasm font. They are all the sarcasm font.
"5. How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?"
Us smart people don't even try. We just throw it in a dresser drawer.
"6. Was learning cursive really necessary?"
Learnt and forgotten and making more per hour than most college grads.
"7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood."
You haven't seen the new version. "Open the car door, get into the car, put your key in the ignition......" Yup, it's getting pretty bad.
"8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died."
Yeah but then the living would start wondering why there are so many unsolved murders.
"9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired."
Take your age, multiply it by 15, divide it by 60 and find your age then, that is when it was - n't.
"10. Bad decisions make good stories."
I musta been really drunk when you were here.
"11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. "
I try to take care of that early.
"12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. "
Nope, in some year in the future they will put the new holodisks on the shelves and you are required to buy them for everything, coasters even. It's the American way and if you don't buy you are hurting the economy. I am a terrorist because I keep everything on HDs or SDs. Public enemy number 300,000,000.
"13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to."
I learned electronics from the Navy books, stolen for me by a family member, I knew things when I was a kid that y'all are just becoming aware of, my Uncle stole a computer that took a whole building before I was born. I know about self powered ICs in the fucking 1970s, technologies introduced now in the consumer market were old hat to me when I was 12. But with all this, Windows needs to die a terrible death because nobody can understand it. You know even Mocrosoft doesn't use Windows in their corporate offices right ? (that may no longer be true, but the fact that it was is notable to say the least)
"14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. "
The phone generation shit. NEXT.
"15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. "
I'll tell Amana.
"16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay. "
They are JEWELERS, the only fucking people who make more money are furniture salesmen or plumbers, and only if they're fucking crooked.
"17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option."
RACIST SCUM PUKE MF...... ummm I can help you with that. Mail me for help, it's not that hard. I have driven around the country some and it ain't that hard.
"18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger."
Rediscover masturbation.
"19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? "
One. Nothing matters so fukum.
"20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! "
That jerk was me and you know what ? I can BUILD a car that will blow the doors off your little shitcan, and I have a couple of guns handy. Keep that in mind during your morning commute.
"21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever."
I have personally disproven that. Details upon request.
"22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time."
I just don't set the alarm.
"23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important."
Looking at a bunch of different sports, the players in many more of them wear cups than helmets. We know what's important.......
T^T
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