LadyHibiscus
Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005 From: Island Of Misfit Toys Status: offline
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(hoping that I was one of the nice ones and not a nasty schoolgirl...) For the record, I don't think you've become cynical, Darlling, that's not your style. I've been on CM since 2005, and for most of that time, my filters on the other side were set to what I was seeking. I changed this year to "everyone" in Michigan, finally settling to "everyone in Michigan aged 21-55". APPALLING. All the men complaining about moneygrabbers and gannets (ah, the most CHARMING skyrat!) were not kidding! Yes, I did see actual women that I know or have met in realtime, but most of the red letter names were /are utter oxygen thieves. That they are proactively seeking out men is a new one for me, and equally appalling. When I was a pro dominant, I said that I was for the sake of disclosure, I never used CM for business, nor did I seek clientele--I didn't have to! The other half of that...well, it's those morons who are actually SENDING WOMEN MONEY. And they do, I asked some of the younguns how it was going, and reports were that there were "timewasters" but there was cash and prizes to be had. Yes, I made a vinegary journal entry. BECAUSE WTF!! I have had men initiate what seems to be pleasant conversation, and then offer me money for sex, or play, or both. I have also just had them want to have Activity X, nsa. Um. Sorry, no longer in that line of work, never took cash for fucking, kthxbai. That none of the men (so far) was taking the "u r a slut" approach, but acted like paying me would be a perfectly normal aspect of the interaction makes me sad. It shouldn't, really, none of them were interested in anything but kink, and isnt that who we shove off on the sex workers? Some of you know that Auntie Hib tries her best to help the ones who look like they MIGHT benefit. I have had some success, but not nearly enough. There are some men out there who are so entrenched in their fantasy world that the reality that I live will never touch them. BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ACCEPT IT. They will keep giving money to MistressGalaxy or AcademyForDebitCards, because that's the level of interaction that they want and understand. That I can introduce them to Real Life Pervs (tm) who can show them what we really do, and how much fun we have doing it is just too scary, and too REAL, and not glossy enough. We're supposed to be all Goddessy or whatever. Yeah, I'll get right on that... I am still thinking on this, and trying not to sound all socialDarwinian, but really, I do see the gannets as thinning the herd for us. One of my beautiful friends has a new name on here: FadingDesires. How sad is that? She's younger than me, more patient and tolerant than me, and just a fabulous woman generally. She even enjoys aftercare! But her new name says it all: the majority of men on the other side, and the majority of self-identified sub males in the scene are really best suited for the skinny squawkers. She's been told to "lower her standards". No, I don't think so. Because in the initial few months, when you figure people are on their BEST behavior, the men are showing that their best isn't even mediocre. I am happy to chase men like that away. I feel a rantyrant coming on, and I don't want to go there. At least not right now! I still might start a thread in the Mistress zone. I will just say that men who really give a fuck about having a real loving RELATIONSHIP with a female dominant are very few and far between. Yes, they are there, I have certainly met dozens over the years. They are in a tremendous minority. Their brethren make them extra-shiny in comparison. When it comes down to it, it's WORK serving a femdom. We're bossy, and we say NO when we want to. We tell you to go watch the game in the other room, our show is on. We want our coffee when we want it. It's not all glitter and orgasms, even for us. If the men who are worthwhile are interested, they will stay interested, just as women like me and my friend have. (and we are interested, because we are relentlessly Not Vanilla). It's a test, of sorts. Not sure how you tell if you passed or not... Vinegary Cynic Hib
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