quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Yes, it not only signifies the respective PE, it's also another way of conducting personal/private PE in public without anyone else being the wiser for it.

quote:


Errrm, (disclaimer alert) technically, I also get cues from her if she's doing something I don't approve of, or it happens to be cool, inspired or hot etc. But overall, I'm responsible for how our relationship dynamics are conducted. I lead, she follows. So if she's being unusually bratty, for example, one of the first things I consider is whether I've been letting things slip, lately. A reality check....

And gawd, I really *don't* miss clubbing in my old age.... lol

Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

Here is pic of a posture collar. I would suggest in doing research on wearing one & different types before you actually wear one.
Being who I am, you couldnt pay me enough money to wear one of these. Or ballet boots or any of that other restriction/posture wear.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Yes, it not only signifies the respective PE, it's also another way of conducting personal/private PE in public without anyone else being the wiser for it.

Good point! It's a very simple but very effective protocol, and nobody would even notice because it seems like pretty "normal" behavior.

quote:

quote:


Not so sure about other cultures but going out to a club here with friends usually entails grabbing a table, which usually have 6-8 chairs, as your "base camp". But such is the social nature of such venues, people are coming and going all the time - to the bar or toilets, dance floor, mingling with others or others mingling here etc. So you don't always get to keep "your" vacated chair....

This is the most common (public) circumstance of my girl needing to initially squat down next to me. More often than not if I then couldn't get her a chair, I'd simply make a bit of leg room and pull her onto my lap. Yeah, she's then taller but A), the initial protocol has been fulfilled and B), anyone sitting on *my* lap is NOT in a position of power over me. As opposed to say, a Domme using her male sub as furniture in the same circumstances. I definitely would not approve of my girl then conducting a conversation with a 3rd person while sitting on my lap - as that Domme might naturally do.

So if she's going to talk to someone else, does she ask you first, or move off your lap to another chair? I agree that sitting on a lap doesn't create a position of power. It's about posture and "energy" for lack of a better word. a Domme/msub can do the same thing, and it can become a position of power because of how they relate to each other.

quote:

quote:


Your own comments are interesting in themself.... I'm not just "maintaining a chunk of responsibility for the protocol instead of leaving it up to the girl", I'm running the show. As I said earlier, the girl gets her cues from me. And for that, I've mostly drawn on my own life experiences, including the countless times a vanilla partner has accused me of being some sorta control freak (gasp)! And yeah, I probably was - just didn't know at the time that mostly, I had the wrong type of partner.

That's a great distinction. I've just mostly had experience with people who left the protocol mostly up to the s-person, instead of remaining more actively in control of it.

quote:

quote:


Errrm, (disclaimer alert) technically, I also get cues from her if she's doing something I don't approve of, or it happens to be cool, inspired or hot etc. But overall, I'm responsible for how our relationship dynamics are conducted. I lead, she follows. So if she's being unusually bratty, for example, one of the first things I consider is whether I've been letting things slip, lately. A reality check....

And gawd, I really *don't* miss clubbing in my old age.... lol

Tthat's interesting, too -- again, most of my experience is with people who put all the responsibility on the s-person. If she's acting out, the first response is "how do I punish her for it," rather than "what's going on to cause this?"
Anyway, this has been an interesting read. ^_^
Relationships with elements of control can be very fulfilling for people involved and they aren't about one person being "too stupid to think for themselves" like a lot of people insinuate whenever it comes up. And it's also not always about a D catering to complicated whims of an s -- in your case, it's very clear that this is how you want things run and you maintain it, it's not coming from your s-person.

Thanks for sharing. ^_^
In my last relationship, we didn't have a ton of protocol, just mostly a few control-related rules, and they were a great, fulfilling aspect of the relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: laborboleta

Please forgive me if this constitutes hijacking, but I don't understand how a posture collar can correct someone's posture except WHEN it's being worn. If anything, it would seem to prevent the neck muscles from being able to strengthen enough to maintain the proper alignment. Am I missing something? Just curious.

Lol, that pic looks more to do with neck stretching than improving anyone's posture....

Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

I also have to agree with you on the "lazy vanilla to sub vs. D/s" thing - have to admit, that's how it comes across to me. They want the relationship to look/function a certain way, but aren't really willinng to actively lead it in that direction. So it all becomes the s-person's responsibility. It remiinds me of something that xBullx said while I was hovering around the Gor forums; about how some men will do as little as they think they need to, and if a chick is very submissive, she'll kinda go along with it and try to become more fulfilled by that, rather than just seek out someone with the type of leadership that really makes her respond. On FL, too, sometimes you see this idea that seems to boil down to s-folk taking on all the responsibility of making themselves feel submissive in situations where a D either isn't interested in, or is incapable of inspiring it and remaining in control of it.