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slavemo -> RE: Fellow Mistress needs advice about slave (11/23/2011 6:26:04 PM)
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Just some thoughts that came up as I read this, take them as you may...
I've been on CM for a while now, and I know that some profiles are definitely more sincere than others. I'd also like to think that I'm pretty good at sniffing out the bullshit. I absolutely went through many a year attempting any form of interaction I could get. I certainly behaved here in ways that are unthinkable in my everyday life. When I joined this site when I was 18 or 19, I was a "no limit" slave, because I thought that was the most appealing thing to do. Most appealing to the dommes, anyway. The reason I did so was because I had a preconceived notion of what the BDSM world was really all about. To me, as a male submissive, I was supposed to be nothing more than a worm. As a male submissive, I wasn't supposed to have any say so in anything, whether it be what was done to my body, or what was done to my mind. I put myself in a few very bad situations, and I am very, very thankful that I have come out rather unscathed. Why did this happen? Because all I saw on this site (the only BDSM personal site I could afford *cough* free) were examples of exactly how I ended up acting. Nobody was there to teach me otherwise. Nobody seemed approachable enough. Life is scary enough just being a normal person, but then you add this fetish that involves violence, humiliation and subjection into the mix, and it's a whole new world.
So, imagine that you are 18. You're a baby to the world. It's a growing period. Then imagine, as I'm sure all of you have been there, that you have this fetish. Of course, being us, it's kind of an odd fetish to outsiders. Maybe you have some friends you can talk with about it, but maybe not. Either way, your sample size is very limited. But, fortunately for you, there is this wonderful resource where you can talk to like minded people. You can openly explore your fetish. You can talk freely about things that you never would have thought you could. And then, imagine you go to that place with your problem, excited and hopeful for answers, only to be shunned and ridiculed. The one place you can be open about one of the most closed off parts of yourself has turned into exactly that; closed off.
Now, I don't know who this person is in question. But, I don't think you can rule out the idea that she has only seen clips of women beating men until they cry. Maybe she has only seen profiles of women who demand money before they will even talk to you. Maybe, because on the internet, reality escapes us all, she doesn't know that there really isn't such a thing as "no limits." I certainly didn't.
So instead of berating this person, maybe we send her a helpful link on what a healthy BDSM relationship actually consists of. Maybe, instead of being so quick to dismiss, you could give a quick quip about how kink isn't any different than any other relationship, except that, you know, it's different.
Either way, if you've made a man, or anyone cry, it should strike a chord. Also, feel free to cry yourself. Dommes do that too, contrary to what many depictions would have you believe. You can laugh, too. So can the sub. Unless it's in a scene. Even then, it's kind of okay. And, if he/she does, then maybe a spanking is in order, but then you can both laugh about it afterward together.
People like BDSM because it turns them on. Being turned on is fun. For the most part, no one is that big of an asshole, and no one is that big of a wimp.
To whomever this domme in question is, if you are for real, please heed these words of advice. If you're not, then I feel like an idiot wasting my time on this rant. Either way, this is a community of people who go to places like this so we can ask and learn. Maybe we shouldn't be such dickheads about teaching.
That's all. Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
(I'd like to give thanks to all the stringent dommes who didn't notice, or have forgiven that I didn't capitalize the word "domme" every time I used it. For those of you who kept count, I will accept my punishments accordingly ;) )
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