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lizi -> RE: Dave, 26, VA (sick fuck :D) (11/27/2011 9:04:23 AM)
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Hey there Dave, hope you find happiness.
Something to think about...BDSM can be wild and get people who do it into some risky situations, therefore it's not always the sick fuck we're looking for in a partner, it's the creative person with a solid base in reality. You know...the type of person you can trust while getting into all those deliciously sick activities. For someone to advertise their instability by announcing they have an abusive background, and also that they aren't socially acceptable and don't seem to value it - well that might ensure that no one wants a piece of that pie.
Most of us are flying under the public radar here with our private activities and we like to keep them private, saying that you aren't socially acceptable isn't something we may want to deal with. It isn't clear what that means - not to be socially acceptable. Does that mean you would be a liability to your partner's desire for an outward private appearance? Let me give you an example of what questions this socially unacceptability is bringing up in my mind. If you were with me for instance, and we know you wouldn't be because I'm an old bat, but just imagine. If you were socially unacceptable to the point that the people around us knew what we did in the bedroom, and what our relationship was based on, then there is a very real possibility that my sons would err try to 'remove' what they would see as an undesirable influence in my life and/or campaign heavily for me to do it. They don't freaking know what I do and never will, and they are protective of me. Others have jobs to protect as well as family, and that's only one piece of the 'not being socially acceptable' pie here- privacy. Lots of other meanings inherent there that I'll leave alone for now.
You're young, I have sons your age so I know how cool it is to be bigger, badder, more intense then everyone else- I feel that type of posturing is a mistake in this venue. The abuse you've suffered is not a selling point for me and maybe not to some others as it points to problems. The fact that you want to almost base your sexual life on your issues, rather than what is positive, is a huge red flag for me. Please consider counseling as was suggested and get a handle on things, I think it would be better to be a sick fuck out of a pleasurable motivation rather than feeling compelled to repeat a childhood injury.
Good luck with things.
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