Aylee -> The 213 things Scipio is not allowed to do in the Roman Army (11/24/2011 8:25:03 PM)
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This amused me. Not allowed to hold rituals for Mithras when I'm supposed to be on duty. Must never call a Spartan Hoplite a "Wanker." Must not show up drunk wearing woad, even if my commander did it. Must not flaunt the chain of command's deviances in front of the Athenians. Must not shout, "MOLON LABE!" on the javelin range. Sacrificing goats should only be done under supervision of the priests. I may not trade Etruscan children to the Greeks. Even if their shields are better than ours. "Point and laugh," while amusing, is not an effective tactic against charging hordes of naked Celts. I am not to make comments about snails and oysters. I may not attach scythes to chariot wheels. That only works in the legends. I should never tell a Theban to "bugger off." Not allowed to call Praetorian Guard "redheaded lutefisk licking barbarians" even it is true. "I am not allowed to decimate recruits for training purposes." May not ask top if I can borrow his galea when he gigs me for unpolished sandals. Not allowed to throw dice to choose which Emperor to support. Ballista should not be used to launch squirrels. Likewise, ballista should not be used to launch badgers, hedgehogs, otters or other small, furry animals. Not allowed to make the Gaul's escargot recipe, with the Emperor's purple-dye snails. Not allowed to ask Jewish slaves if they prefer the Judean Peoples Front or the Peoples Front of Judea Not allowed to "correct" rebellious graffiti
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