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Parental units - 11/26/2011 10:16:45 AM

Fornica

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Just wondering how many of us are Moms and Dads. How does being a parent effect your lifestyle (or vice versa)?
I'm a Mommy. My kids are my life..so it doesn't leave a whole lot of space for anything else..lol.

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RE: Parental units - 11/26/2011 10:20:50 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Me neither, so I search for the ultimate needle in a haystack, a Domme of the right age for me that can handle a 7 yr old kid being a big part of my life & accept that kink comes way down the list of priorities.

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RE: Parental units - 11/26/2011 10:25:34 AM

lizi

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Me too, although mine are adults now. They are still the epicenter of my life. They don't impact my lifestyle heavily other than I don't let it be known that I have one as they are very protective of me and would find it hard to understand. I live alone, they know I have a 'boyfriend' and they seem to approve of him. They don't seem to find anything weird about how I relate to him which is what I want.

My Dom is completely on board with how I structure my homelife and that I put that first over him which endears him to me immensely. He knows that being a Mom is where I find structure and happiness. He likes me to be happy. I put away the few toys that are here when the boys are due to be home and other than that I have a 'necklace' that I wear - a ring of steel collar. They don't seem to find it odd, although I've taken it off since this fall starting my med school program as they don't allow any jewelry.

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RE: Parental units - 11/26/2011 10:53:18 AM

bighappygoth39

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With my youngest now approaching 14, I've not found that having kids affects my chosen lifestyle, really. I got used to them going to their dads regularly a long time ago, and one of them lives with him, anyway. They are pretty protective of me, but not so much that they've ever stood in the way of my happiness, even when I've ventured into bad past relationships, though I remember my eldest's way of dealing with not liking him was to just ignore him completely...

Luckily, I've only ever had one relationship like that and I've been in my wonderful relationship now for two years, and it's still just amazing. I think because they see how happy he has made me, they're happy to not take any issue with anything they might notice as 'different'. Not that we're openly doing stuff, as we're very private people, anyway.

I became a parent when I was quite young, and the sort of person I am and how they've grown up has probably made it so they're quite accepting of anyone who is in my life, as long as they can see the positive affect it has on me.
I think it's going to be a lot harder for people into this who have much younger children, but if you find someone who genuinely makes you happy, then I'd think that most children who are at the aware age and above, will be perfectly happy to accept your choices of partner.
As long as you don't make the partner a priority above them, and still make an effort to be their parent, they should be able to accept things. It does take a lot of effort and work, but it's worth it in the end and I'm hoping that when I do eventually live with him, things will still work out well, because they'll have had plenty of time to get used to him being a big part of our lives. I think it helps if the new partner is very understanding and accepting as well.

How I see it, if your kids and your new partner love you enough, they will deal with being a part of each other's lives. Letting them get to know each other helps a lot as well, and I'm hoping that because my kids already like him so much, they won't see him as any threat when we are living together.
Sorry for the long post, but I do feel pretty strongly about this.

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RE: Parental units - 11/26/2011 11:02:09 AM

littlewonder

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I am a mom. My daughter is now an adult though but I was into bdsm even from the time she was just a baby.

I can't say it affected my "lifestyle" in any way except for having to be a little quieter and having to find babysitters...no different than any kind of dating scenario with or without bdsm.

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