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I blew it - 5/27/2006 7:08:50 PM   
verybluize


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline 		Does anyone have advice on how to possibly get back into the good graces of a Dominant Woman who I didn't get a chance to meet because I got over eager and wrote some emails that made me sound like a self centered will o' the wisp?
I forgot that it was all about what She wants and now am in exile.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 7:15:24 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Kiss ass by whatever means necessary, or quit and find someone who wants the same things you want.   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 7:17:17 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Kiss ass by whatever means necessary, or quit and find someone who wants the same things you want.   M




Agreed.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 7:27:50 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: verybluize

Does anyone have advice on how to possibly get back into the good graces of a Dominant Woman who I didn't get a chance to meet because I got over eager and wrote some emails that made me sound like a self centered will o' the wisp?
I forgot that it was all about what She wants and now am in exile.


How can a "true submissive" forget who it is about--those words say to Me, you play in "character"--you will never get her back, IMHO--I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 8:47:46 PM   
ladylexington


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		Well, you are in a spot. The fact that you wrote "some e-mails" indicates that you made this mistake more than once. If you are lucky, she's cut you off to teach you a lesson, and may reconsider you later.

In the meantime, learn more about the community. (I noticed that this was your first post.) Talk to other submissives, read the boards, and reply when you have something to offer. It will help keep your mind off your situation -- and maybe teach you more about the attitude that the Mistress was seeking.

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 8:58:24 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry. No flashes of brillance from me, I'm afraid. Once I make my decisions, I move on.

Perhaps, if she's still accepting your messages, you can email her that you'll be withdrawing to reflect on what she's told you, and what you've done wrong. Then do it. And if *you* can then come up with something to really show you've gotten it now, you've got that one in a million chance she might listen.

Honestly, if one I have chosen makes a mistake, that's one thing. But applicants only get one shot.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 9:48:51 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear verybluize, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I can only speak for myself however, once a submissive/slave blows it, I'm moving on and won't reconsider no matter how much "kissing" the shadow regions the person does. 

All "hounds" that follow me around, will be neutered and given distemper shots.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: I blew it - 5/27/2006 10:20:27 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		Sounds to me like your submission is somehow "conditional".....perhaps either because you lack training or experience, or that this is more sub-centered than dom-centered.  I've generally found that a gentleman of a submissive heart doesn't just "forget" himself and do foolish things like spout off careless emails. 

My advice would be to step back and evaluate why you did what you did and aim to not do it with the next woman you think to pursue.  Perfect your own model and understand why you wish to submit and more importantly, why you choose to submit to THAT particular woman.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 12:31:48 AM   
subtlesubie


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 1:41:14 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


Interestingly enough I have never found heartfelt and sincere advice to be so distasteful as you apparently do.  And furthermore, knowledge, awareness, and sincerity of self is actually considered a good thing.  Getting to know yourself can be a wonderful and sometimes lifelong journey...I wonder what it is that you are so afraid to find?

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 3:41:32 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		If She's anything like Me, there probably isn't any way to get back into Her good graces.  If She hasn't blocked you (as I would have done), you could try writing Her a letter of apology, telling Her you realize you were out of line and asking Her to reconsider.  I honestly wouldn't get My hopes up, though.

Probably the most important thing to do is learn from this experience and never, ever repeat it.

I had a sub do the exact same thing with Me recently and he got blocked, pronto. 

Lady Topaz

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 5:18:09 AM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		run to be sucessful with another top and if she sees you she will definately remember you and compliment your new top for handling what she wouldnt and just say,to HER: i hoped you were not taking notes ;it was a one time thing and i stand corrected .

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 5:38:51 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


hmmm someone pee in your wheaties one time too many?
 
IMHO, introspection is a life long journey--whether in or out of the life--when we stop seeking, evaluating and embracing--we become quite stagnant.
 
he spoke about being "out of character"--as was stated, that would indicate more conditional submission---nothing wrong with that, but without some defined parameters, he could see alot of doors slammed in his face and mounting frustration. So time taken to read and ponder may be well worth the investment.
 
Advice more than a few of us could use it would seem.
 
 

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 6:12:30 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


hmmm someone pee in your wheaties one time too many?
 
IMHO, introspection is a life long journey--whether in or out of the life--when we stop seeking, evaluating and embracing--we become quite stagnant.
 
he spoke about being "out of character"--as was stated, that would indicate more conditional submission---nothing wrong with that, but without some defined parameters, he could see alot of doors slammed in his face and mounting frustration. So time taken to read and ponder may be well worth the investment.
 
Advice more than a few of us could use it would seem.
 
 


Actually the advice of taking time to re-evaluate & do some introspection is very valuable advice for those questioning the results of their actions.

The OP wrote some emails & then he states he made himself sound self-centered. We may never know because we were not on the receiving end of these emails.

So to verybluize, if you ever return to this thread & read... I agree, take some time to reflect on you. You need to figure out where you are in all of this & where you want to go & then once you figure this out you must find a way to express yourself honestly & naturally.

Being in a character that fits someone else's ideal is no good especially if you are planning to meet them. Eventually you would have to live up to the reputation of a character you created.

Best advice is be yourself. If the one you communicate is not in favor of the natural you... time to move on.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 6:54:03 AM   
orfunboi


Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, i found it to be a lot more useful, than your whiny little rant.

(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 7:07:07 AM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		Use the toxic enviroment syndrome as an excuse. Living in New Jersey by choice might cause you to lose some believeability. lol
Gentry

(in reply to verybluize)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 11:04:11 AM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


Actually, I did.

When I came on CM for the first time, it was my very first (and has remained *only*) personals experience. I was definitely a kid in the candy store with all these lovely submissive men. I scattered energy all over the place.

Then one day I was chatting with a guy in Sweden *!*- don't ask, lol, and he asked me what was I really looking for, and I thought, "Damned if I know." So I left CM, and followed what MH advocates, and only returned when I was clear in my mind about *exactly* what I was looking for, and able to clearly convey it to attract the type of submissive that fills my needs. Okay, so I still hear from the guys that don't read, lol, but I also hear from ones that do, and get it.

The same procedure will work in reverse, sub attracting Domme, as my new puppy discovered.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 3:12:12 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.



Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


When I was starting out, this was the sort of advice that really helped me a lot.


I don't think its a matter of being top or bottom, dom or sub, either.

If you are more clear on yourself you can better negotiate with someone else afterall. If you can't answer questions about what you have to offer, what you are looking for, and what your limits are how are you going to stand out from the millions of others looking for some connection?

For many people having knowledge and self-awareness is sexy even.

One of the things that turned me on to Fox was that he was fairly self-aware for a 19 year old who had primarily learned through the Internet and through private solo play.

Does that mean that self-awareness equal immediately finding a partner? Of course not. This isn't tv where you can flip around until you find something and this isn't a fast food joint where you can place an order. This is human beings making connections in a subculture that is very small compared to the vanilla world. If you only look online, you are reducing your chances even more.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: I blew it - 5/28/2006 3:40:41 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlesubie

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I suggest you take some serious time and decide what it is you want, seek and desire.

Has anyone ever found this ubiquitous, flippant advice to be the least bit useful?


"bom" "bom" "bom", ...and another sub bites the dust,
"bom" "bom" "bom"....and another sub bites the dust,
aaaaaand another one gone, and another one gone,
another sub bites tha dust!

Here's good advice to both the OP and to subtlesubie:

Learn NOT to hit 'Send'!

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: I blew it - 5/29/2006 4:57:18 AM   
MoonGoddessIsis


Posts: 38
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Ohhhh.... I just got an email today like this....
"Show Me that you want to be My Dominant and reply". Something along those lines.  Did not make Me happy.
I wish I could answer this for you but I am not even sure how I am going to handle it yet!

Good luck!
Lady Moon


_____________________________

"Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before"

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 20
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