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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 7:14:28 AM   
Moonhead


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

No extremes on either end of the spectrum. No to people who harbor hate towards a community.

You can have opposing views as me. But when you show yourself as a generalizing, narrow minded, over opinionated, spitful douchebag...i want nothing to do with you.

example, i got asked out via facebook by a guy who had comment on a phot of a mutal friend after me. I didnt say no because i'm in a relationship, i said no because he had written, "fucking liberals! Go occupy a job!"

Permanent turn off.

The really bizarre thing about that is the way a lot of frothing ideological nutjobs expect everybody else to humour their insane convictions while refusing point blank to even consider tolerating anybody else's views that differ to theirs. WTF is that about?

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 8:01:59 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoxwineForBrunch

they play a role for me. i can be attracted to someone who holds divergent views from my own, but there are lines i will not cross.

on another site, i was exchanging messages with a fairly gorgeous and intelligent woman and we were getting along quite well until i noticed that her profile had a line saying she was not interested in being contacted by persons of color under any circumstances. i promptly told her to go to hell.

what is your breaking point when it comes to political and social differences with a prospective?


I've known M for 12 yrs now and I still do not know anything about his political affiliations and nor he mine.

To be honest, unless he was horridly racist or bigotted, I will be unlikely to EVER know, nor am I interested. We like the way we are to each other and the way we are to other people without a discussion ever taking place.

“I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” Maya Angelou

I'd add my own to that....The way they deal with a crying baby, a truculant teenager, plans getting thwarted and how well they make the best out of situations that have gone south.

agirl





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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 10:45:19 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		The Dude was kinda political, but mostly in a "I want to get out of this" sense. He wasn't particulaly partisan, and was surprisingly more conservative than he seemed, especially if you just looked at him when he was bumming around on weekends, with the long hair, tattoos, and his jacket from the Army, and didn't bother to get to know him. He didn't like Family Guy, for instance, because he thought it taught really negative family values. =p

We got into political conversations every now and again, but it never felt like there was anything at stake. He was okay with me believing things that he didn't, and visa versa. I don't have a problem with having a few political conversations. I like to be able to talk to someone about anything, even politics, to be free to agree or disagree with them, and not have that form this giant cancer in the relationship that destroys it.

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:00:19 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		I've actually asked somebody this before.

I unfortunately got into a "debate" with an atheist on facebook last year. "Debate" meaning I respected their ideals and the right to believe in anything they want, and not thinking any less of them for having views that do not align with my own. However, the entire time, they were belittling me about what i believe in and telling me how stupid and wrong i am.

So before they were blocked, i asked, "so i can sit here and listen to everything you are spouting out at me, give you the common courtesy that you deserve, but you cannot give me the same respect?"

They simply said, "why should i?"

Yeah, i was fucking done with them at that moment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonhead


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

No extremes on either end of the spectrum. No to people who harbor hate towards a community.

You can have opposing views as me. But when you show yourself as a generalizing, narrow minded, over opinionated, spitful douchebag...i want nothing to do with you.

example, i got asked out via facebook by a guy who had comment on a phot of a mutal friend after me. I didnt say no because i'm in a relationship, i said no because he had written, "fucking liberals! Go occupy a job!"

Permanent turn off.

The really bizarre thing about that is the way a lot of frothing ideological nutjobs expect everybody else to humour their insane convictions while refusing point blank to even consider tolerating anybody else's views that differ to theirs. WTF is that about?


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:13:58 AM   
seekerofslut


Posts: 215
Joined: 9/7/2011
Status: offline 		I'd love to ask James Carville and Mary Matlin the OP's question.   

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:20:31 AM   
agirl


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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

The Dude was kinda political, but mostly in a "I want to get out of this" sense. He wasn't particulaly partisan, and was surprisingly more conservative than he seemed, especially if you just looked at him when he was bumming around on weekends, with the long hair, tattoos, and his jacket from the Army, and didn't bother to get to know him. He didn't like Family Guy, for instance, because he thought it taught really negative family values. =p

We got into political conversations every now and again, but it never felt like there was anything at stake. He was okay with me believing things that he didn't, and visa versa. I don't have a problem with having a few political conversations. I like to be able to talk to someone about anything, even politics, to be free to agree or disagree with them, and not have that form this giant cancer in the relationship that destroys it.


I agree about being able to talk about anything........political stuff has never crossed our horizen though, and never has. There's always been too much *life* to take care of.

If anything, I am the most *political*, having been on marches, whether to do with local roads being built or the one bdsm-march-thing I went on,  or the money I spent toward newspaper space for advertising the situation regarding saving our forests being sold off recently.

It still boils down to the same thing if we talk about it.......not politics, but the people I met, the conversations I had, the thoughts and feelings of the people I met and why.He doesn't HAVE to ask what *I* feel as he knows that already.

M has NO such compunction to get involved to that degree.

I'm not THAT bothered in a political sense, about anything. But occasionally I can do something toward something that matters to me, so I just *do it*.

What is it about Family Guy?..lol. M thinks it's quite funny, I've never watched it deliberately.

I think here it's more likely the characters and the black comedy that's likely to be found amusing.

agirl


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:32:29 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Oh it would just come up, say, if we were flipping through channels and saw a story, or reading a paper, or a magazine. There was always a book to talk about, or a conversation while running errands that could take you off on tangents. Tangents will take you anywhere. :p
But it wasn't a specific motivator for either of us -- like "omgz we must talk about this NOOOOW!" if it came up, it came up, and if it didn't, who cares. :p
That's what I mean -- if it comes up, I don't want to have to feel like we need to shy away from it to avoid getting into a knock-down, drag-out "why on earth am i with you?!" fight.

And yeah, that's what I find funny about Family Guy -- the characters, and the brand of comedy. But M didn't see it that way, and consequently, I didn't get to watch it when I was at his house. haha
No big loss, though, since there were always far more interesting things to do there...

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 11/28/2011 11:33:11 AM >

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:52:51 AM   
Moonhead


Posts: 16520
Joined: 9/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

I've actually asked somebody this before.

I unfortunately got into a "debate" with an atheist on facebook last year. "Debate" meaning I respected their ideals and the right to believe in anything they want, and not thinking any less of them for having views that do not align with my own. However, the entire time, they were belittling me about what i believe in and telling me how stupid and wrong i am.

So before they were blocked, i asked, "so i can sit here and listen to everything you are spouting out at me, give you the common courtesy that you deserve, but you cannot give me the same respect?"

They simply said, "why should i?"

Yeah, i was fucking done with them at that moment.


I can imagine. If you're not extending any respect for somebody else's views, you have no right to expect them them to respect yours either, however right you believe yourself to be. If you're incapable of getting your head around that notion, you have no business debating anything with grown ups in the first place, do you? You're certainly never going to talk anybody round if you're starting from a position of special pleading rather than egalitarianism...

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 11:57:59 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline 		I think what's harder to accept is when people try and push their views onto you, and their views are based on fiction, rather than fact. I prefer to accept that people might not have the same views and opinions as me, but when they start spouting bull, it can be slightly annoying. I've stopped many conversations with people online when I've realised they have no interest in hearing my opinions. Such is life, I guess.

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 12:02:26 PM   
agirl


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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep


No big loss, though, since there were always far more interesting things to do there...


LOL. Same here.

Hence I have NO idea what his political affiliations are ........ or his favourite colour......or singer...etc etc.  Frankly, if they haven't mattered by now, they never will matter..lol

agirl


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 12:09:03 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Perhaps the man is waiting for an opportunity to speak.

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 12:11:27 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I knew what his favorite color was. :p haha -- Probably 4 days out of the week he had something red on.

Haphazard conversations, to me, are ridiculously interesting.
We talked a lot, when I think about it. If we were in the garden, we were chit chatting about something. If we were driving somewhere, more rambling. We just had a good time together and liked to yammer back and forth, and the tangents were always the best. :p
Not to say that there weren't quiet moments; my favorites were early morning when we were waking up, or sitting on his lap watching the squirrels in the yard.

It's nice to talk about him without feeling so sad anymore. haha

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 12:13:25 PM   
MadAxeman


Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline 		Good for you Lilly



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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 1:47:04 PM   
agirl


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Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadAxeman

Perhaps the man is waiting for an opportunity to speak.


Grin...... I think not.  Quite amusing to imagine him waiting to speak though, let alone being interrupted.

agirl


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 1:56:30 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

I knew what his favorite color was. :p haha -- Probably 4 days out of the week he had something red on.

Haphazard conversations, to me, are ridiculously interesting.
We talked a lot, when I think about it. If we were in the garden, we were chit chatting about something. If we were driving somewhere, more rambling. We just had a good time together and liked to yammer back and forth, and the tangents were always the best. :p
Not to say that there weren't quiet moments; my favorites were early morning when we were waking up, or sitting on his lap watching the squirrels in the yard.

It's nice to talk about him without feeling so sad anymore. haha


I understand that feeling as my hubby died and I felt the same way.:)

M and I have always tended to talk about *life* as it arises, and there's always been so much of it *arising*....lol

agirl


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 2:19:19 PM   
Epytropos


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/23/2011
Status: offline 		I wouldn't say attraction is impacted, in the strictest sense. Attraction for me factors in precisely 2 things - physical beauty and uniqueness of perspective. That is all that I see when it comes to short-term attraction, so incompatibilities of beliefs, values, or leanings are meaningless if not desirable.

Certain things would bother me if we're dealing with the long term, though. If someone was a member of the Moral Majority that wouldn't work for me. Really mostly anyone who supports laws which ban that which harms no one but the self is probably going to be a non-starter. That mindset just makes me a little sick to my stomach, and it also means that the person believes that their preferences should control everyone else, which is anything but submissive. Since the highly religious are also out, most of the right wing is out. That being said, economic beliefs wouldn't be a problem at all. Anything from communism to anarcho-capitalism is fine, and even though I'm not one true anarchists are incredibly hot to me so they get first billing.

I think a lot of what people object to isn't an incompatibility of political beliefs, but rather an underlying incompatibility of values. Since I'm not much of a 'values person', that sort of thing isn't going to keep me up at night unless it very directly affects me in a negative way as the Moral Majority does. 


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 4:45:30 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Being an Independent I can get along with dems, repubs, libertarians, greens, etc as long as they aren't obsessed with politics.
Not leftists though.
Can you imagine being physically around a leftist all day like the ones in P & S? It's "their way or the highway!" They won't even listen to another opinion.
Who wants to be around a shrill?


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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/28/2011 5:27:01 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		To answer the topic quesiton...they don't matter much to me as long as the person in question does not expect my views to change because of theirs.

To note something someone said to me...You said you had spoken to this person for awhile but just noticed this on her profile. Had you not read her profile to begin with?

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/29/2011 5:27:46 PM   
BoxwineForBrunch


Posts: 184
Joined: 11/14/2011
Status: offline 		a couple of people have asked why it took so long for me to notice something so blatant on a woman's profile. the honest answer is that i don't always bother reading profiles at all. she messaged me, and we started corresponding. she was bright and articulate and had a sense of humor and, had she not made a casual remark about how her list of favorite books was on her profile, i might never have bothered to read it at all.

probably sooner rather than later we would have had an ugly cultural clash, but it was surreal and disconcerting how long we were able to continue having superficially enjoyable, even charming, conversations about books, movies, and shoes without ever realizing just how fundamentally in conflict our value systems were!

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RE: how much do politics factor into attraction for you? - 11/29/2011 5:32:38 PM   
RakeAndCo


Posts: 63
Joined: 6/1/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoxwineForBrunch

they play a role for me. i can be attracted to someone who holds divergent views from my own, but there are lines i will not cross.

on another site, i was exchanging messages with a fairly gorgeous and intelligent woman and we were getting along quite well until i noticed that her profile had a line saying she was not interested in being contacted by persons of color under any circumstances. i promptly told her to go to hell.
It is called "preference".

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Profile   Post #: 40
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