|
ADomDoc -> Dear Rejected Master (5/27/2006 11:21:37 PM)
|
Dear [____rejectee's name here_____], Sir:
i regret to inform You that You have been eliminated from further contention as my perfect Master. As You are probably aware, the competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as Yourself also failed to make the final cut. i will, however, keep Your name on file should an opening become available. So that You may find better success in Your future sub/slave endeavors, please allow me to gracioiusly offer the following reason(s) why You were disqualified from the competition:
[Check all those that apply]
___ Your breasts are bigger than mine.
___ Your nickname is objectionable. i can't imagine taking it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date hasbeen at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that i find unappealing.
___ Your inadvertent admission that You "buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that You may be interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., i asked You 20 questions about Yourself before You asked me one.
___ Your legs are skinnier than mine. If You can FIT into my pants, then You can't GET into my pants or me out of them.
___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you girl?" comment, given the 9-months-pregnant size of Your beer gut, was inappropriate.
___ You failed the credit check.
___ i find Your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
___ The fact that Your apartment has been condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that i fear is unbreakable.
___ The phrase "My last slave" has popped up far too often in conversation.
___ You still live with Your parents.
___ You mention Your ex-slave's name more than You mention mine.
___ Three words: Size does matter.
Sincerely,
[your name here]
|
|
|
|
