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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 6:10:40 AM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		Come on, somebody else nominate Stella's post for Best Of CM. i would do it myself, but i'm the only one posting on that thread lately.

pam

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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 11:31:05 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

So I’d like to put it out there to not just the service subs…..but all of the subs…and the Dommes/Doms as well—this time of year, we often hear of many more organizations asking for volunteers.  It might be delivering care packages to homebound folks, food banks needing a driver, kitchens needing servers to dole out holiday meals, hospitals needing SUV drivers in the snow.  Take the opportunity to serve someone else, and the resulting warmth you get inside is not far from what we service subs feel on a regular basis when we serve someone we care about. 

You'll get first-hand understanding of what makes some of us tick...and who knows….  We might make a service sub out you yet!



I haven't any interest in *serving* whatsoever inandofitself, but taking care of, being there for and helping out and are things that I see the people around me doing for their families and friends daily, including myself.

Isn't this what you do, or offer, where you see a need, or when you are asked? I'm curious as to why it's especially *service*. If so, then my entire family is in service to each other and so are many people around me.

Isn't this simply being thoughtful, helpful and kind?

agirl






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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 12:24:54 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

Come on, somebody else nominate Stella's post for Best Of CM. i would do it myself, but i'm the only one posting on that thread lately.

pam


I'll second that with pleasure.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 12:26:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I agree with agirl's view, but so few people genuinely ARE thoughtful and kind.

My parents and I have our little circle of codependency, and until 4 years ago, we had my grandmother too. I can't tell you how many people commented on our "sacrifice" and other such nonsense. Sacrifice? Taking care of a family member? Evidently.

Thank you Haus, and Stella, for your wonderful posts.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 12:54:54 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline 		I really like doing the housework around here and taking care of the other girls. But I don't think that qualifies me as a service sub, I do it because it makes me wet.

10/7

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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 2:16:42 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		I agree, agirl. To me, that stuff is just being a good person.

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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 2:30:58 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I agree with agirl's view, but so few people genuinely ARE thoughtful and kind.

My parents and I have our little circle of codependency, and until 4 years ago, we had my grandmother too. I can't tell you how many people commented on our "sacrifice" and other such nonsense. Sacrifice? Taking care of a family member? Evidently.

Thank you Haus, and Stella, for your wonderful posts.


I think I'm very lucky living in a little herb garden where it's not uncommon at all.  I see so much of it everywhere that I couldn't even begin to recount them.

When I'm labouring away doing stuff for my Ma and Pa it's got nothing to do with getting a warm feeling. I do it because I love them tremendously and I feel that I should  help them just as they've helped me so many times. I don't feel any pride in it at all and I don't do it to feel good.

This, I think, is where I part company with part of the OP.

agirl








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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 2:53:28 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

When I'm labouring away doing stuff for my Ma and Pa it's got nothing to do with getting a warm feeling. I do it because I love them tremendously and I feel that I should help them just as they've helped me so many times. I don't feel any pride in it at all and I don't do it to feel good.


I have to agree. There's a difference between doing something for people I love (like my children) vs. helping strangers, or mankind in general, or the earth itself.

Sadly, I donated blood yesterday and I didn't feel good during--or after. :)

January

Edit: grammar...

< Message edited by January -- 11/30/2011 2:54:37 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 3:59:16 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Nope. Still don't "get" it.

I have family and other "caring" responsibilities. It's called being human. I'm not denigrating good acts - but I don't see doing so as being anything to do with service subbing.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 4:09:43 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Lots of folks don't get it. I have a friend in the scene, a fem sub, who is often in precarious health. Think I had an easy time rounding up some help for her? Serving my friends is not glamourous enough, I guess.

I try and do a lot for my parents, and some of the extended "family", because it's the thing to do. As the daughbter of an ethnic household, I was raised to serve. I am sad that I don't get any warm fuzzies from it! I wouldn't be any more motivated, but it would be nice.

Interesting (?) That I don't see any other men chiming in about how nice it is to help out...

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RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 4:42:04 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Lots of folks don't get it. I have a friend in the scene, a fem sub, who is often in precarious health. Think I had an easy time rounding up some help for her? Serving my friends is not glamourous enough, I guess.

I try and do a lot for my parents, and some of the extended "family", because it's the thing to do. As the daughbter of an ethnic household, I was raised to serve. I am sad that I don't get any warm fuzzies from it! I wouldn't be any more motivated, but it would be nice.

Interesting (?) That I don't see any other men chiming in about how nice it is to help out...


Interesting. If I got especially nice feelings from helping out I'd probably do far more...lol

Of course my Ma and Pa feel warmly toward me but I'd be just as content if they didn't need me at all. I actually want to go cycling tomorrow and do my own thing, but they've asked me if I could spare the day and though I'd rather go cycling, I know they need my muscle. It's not at all one-sided as they do such nice things for me too. I'm sure my Dad doesn't particularly want to turn out in the driving rain to rescue me when my car dies, but even at almost 80yrs, he does just that. It's more a reciprical appreciation.

I am supposing that a service sub gets nice feelings from their helping and that's the kick they get and their drive. (Or that's what I dervived from the OP)

Although few men have spoken about it here, I.know that my Pa, my sons and M are the same way., In fact, M is far more inclined to go out of his way for people than I am.

agirl




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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 8:48:06 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Dear Stella
Thank you for sharing this story--deeply touching and thoughtful, as so many of your posts are.

I send you an enormous hug across the pond.
haus

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 8:57:42 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Nope. Still don't "get" it.

I have family and other "caring" responsibilities. It's called being human. I'm not denigrating good acts - but I don't see doing so as being anything to do with service subbing.


Hi Whenready....
Then I think you missed the entire point of my post. 
I was not equating service subbing with fulfilling family obligations, which include caretaking responsibilities.  For me, that falls under the category of being a son or daughter. 

I wish I could tell you that being human and being a caring human are synonymous, but they aren't.  Nor am I implying that everyone that performs "good deeds" is a service sub (My comments at the end of my OP were tongue in cheek) .  My point is that we have many dialogues here on CM about service subs--why we do what we do, and there is often a lot of criticism and suspicion about what the motivation is behind the service.

And for, my parallel was the feeling one gets when performing a "good deed" for someone else, and the much deeper feeling of fulfillment one gets when performing service for someone they love/care about.

I know there are plenty who are strictly in it for the kinks, and care more about what makes their dick hard and less about the actual service.  To me, they aren't really service subs.  They are do-me subs hiding behind a service sub facade.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 9:26:49 PM   
laborboleta


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/1/2011
From: NYC, now in PA
Status: offline 		There's a word in Hebrew that transliterates to "mitzvah". The strict definition is "blessing"but it is frequently used in the sense of a good deed, as in "doing a mitzvah". I've always believed in trying to do at least one mitzvah every day, even if it's something really small, like holding a door open for someone. Of course the more difficult and/or important it is to perform the deed, the greater the blessing attached to it. What hausboy did  for his friends was a true mitzvah.

I know everyone talks about doing service and helping others during the holidays, but people need food and clothing and just general help just as much in January and February as they do in December. It's acts of kindness all year round that keep us from all descending into a hell of selfishness and greed.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 9:45:58 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laborboleta

There's a word in Hebrew that transliterates to "mitzvah". The strict definition is "blessing"but it is frequently used in the sense of a good deed, as in "doing a mitzvah". I've always believed in trying to do at least one mitzvah every day, even if it's something really small, like holding a door open for someone. Of course the more difficult and/or important it is to perform the deed, the greater the blessing attached to it. What hausboy did  for his friends was a true mitzvah.

I know everyone talks about doing service and helping others during the holidays, but people need food and clothing and just general help just as much in January and February as they do in December. It's acts of kindness all year round that keep us from all descending into a hell of selfishness and greed.


thanks laborboleta...
interestingly...Mitzvah also comes from the hebrew word for commandment...sorry, don't know how to phonetically spell it...the tzi-vah part...which refers to the biblical hebrew word for "command"... and references the act of doing good deeds as a part of the moral obligations of being a "good Jew".

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 9:53:47 PM   
laborboleta


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/1/2011
From: NYC, now in PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

thanks laborboleta...
interestingly...Mitzvah also comes from the hebrew word for commandment...sorry, don't know how to phonetically spell it...the tzi-vah part...which refers to the biblical hebrew word for "command"... and references the act of doing good deeds as a part of the moral obligations of being a "good Jew".



Oops! You are absolutely right. My mistake.  Have to go back to Hebrew School. I still think the word blessing is in there somewhere, maybe it's just how it was explained to me when I was a child.
mitz·vah/ˈmitsvə/A precept or commandment.A good deed done from religious duty.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 9:56:25 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: laborboleta

quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

thanks laborboleta...
interestingly...Mitzvah also comes from the hebrew word for commandment...sorry, don't know how to phonetically spell it...the tzi-vah part...which refers to the biblical hebrew word for "command"... and references the act of doing good deeds as a part of the moral obligations of being a "good Jew".



Oops! You are absolutely right. My mistake.  Have to go back to Hebrew School. I still think the word blessing is in there somewhere, maybe it's just how it was explained to me when I was a child.
mitz·vah/ˈmitsvə/A precept or commandment.A good deed done from religious duty.


No, you're still right on the mark though--the word mitzvah means, by all contemporary translations, "good deeds"...(I think the word you were thinking of for blessing is "barucha")

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 11/30/2011 10:09:05 PM   
laborboleta


Posts: 174
Joined: 10/1/2011
From: NYC, now in PA
Status: offline 		Apparently you did go to Hebrew School. I actually never did. My parents wouldn't send me because I was a girl, so they forced my brother to go, although he hated it. This was before bat-mitzvahs were invented.  Sorry, off-topic. I'll quit now. while I'm behind.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 12/1/2011 9:53:11 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

the word mitzvah means, by all contemporary translations, "good deeds"


For his bar mitzvah community service project, my boss's son made gift baskets for 30 needy families in his community. He went to a bunch of local companies and got donations for money and/or items to include in the baskets. He put a lot of effort into them and they came out really nice and were greatly appreciated.


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Another service sub thread: for those who get it...... - 12/1/2011 10:09:49 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I help people but I don't get warm thoughtful feelings from it so I don't consider myself a service sub.

I help people even when I don't want to. I sometimes do it while gritting my teeth and wishing I was doing something else.

But I do these things because I feel a moral obligation as a  human being.



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