RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (Full Version)

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hangemhigh1953 -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 12:46:11 AM)

I have yet to see mainstream media (except of course for Secretary) portray BDSM as much more than some hot woman dressed in leather/latex and some pathetic guy begging her to hit him. If anything, that kind of portrayal might lessen its appeal to the vanilla public and create this narrow stereotype of how it works.



gungadin09 -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 4:42:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
While I agree with your basic premise about BDSM themes becoming more prevalent, I am very unhappy with how badly it's represented in common culture.


I still think it's a step in the right direction. First nothing, then the bad representation, then, perhaps, the good. i think anything is better than it being considered too taboo to talk about.

pam



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 4:46:01 AM)

The bad representations sometimes lead to people learning the truth. When you provide real contrast between preconceived notions and reality, people usually are more likely to stop and take another look.

Eta: I should say, if they're open to new possibilities. Some people are very attached to their ideas and it can take something REALLY drastic to change their minds. But if those people had negative ideas to begin with, and arenn't openn to learning, there's not much you can do, anyway, even if media is positive.

There was a great experiment done in what... the 60s(?) that showed how people with less of a reason to believe something will actually tend to believe it with more conviction than those who have a reason.



Kana -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 6:59:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hello,

We used to have to sneak a peek at our parents adult magazines or go to an adult movie theatre to find our fetish, but now BDSM and fetish scenes can be found in so many mainstream movies and one only has to login to the internet to find kink. Has it become too common that the excitement and thrill is gone, or do you feel it is a good thing that BDSM can now be seen all around us?


Ahhh, c'mon. A few, as in twenty or so, years ago things like bondage pants, piercings, collars, latex, rubber and black leather were all popular parts of the techno hardcore scene.
Rob Halford dressed like a leather Dom in the 70's. Betty Page rocked out the fifties.
Certain aspects of BDSM have been prevalent in pop culture/the American psyche for quite a long time now.
We ain't unique.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 8:07:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Ahhh, c'mon. A few, as in twenty or so, years ago things like bondage pants, piercings, collars, latex, rubber and black leather were all popular parts of the techno hardcore scene.
Rob Halford dressed like a leather Dom in the 70's. Betty Page rocked out the fifties.
Certain aspects of BDSM have been prevalent in pop culture/the American psyche for quite a long time now.
We ain't unique.


Yah yah
And not even 20 years; like 10 years. Kids I went to school with were wearing bondage pants. :p Tripp was a company that basically made all of its money on those things.
Collars with rubbery glowy spikes, lots of people wore those around.
I used to have a skirt, long before I actively got into kink, that had straps, zippers, and cinch cords so I could make a hobble skirt out of it. :p
A lot of the people who wore that stuff had no idea what else it might mean, it was just fashionable, and made them feel edgy. They were just young and rebellious and wanted to piss off their parents.
And then, a lot of OTHER people -- plenty of other people, knew exactly what it could mean, and knew it for a while, and it was just no big deal.

It's been sneaky mainstream for a while. We're not special people, by any means.



agirl -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 9:26:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hello,

We used to have to sneak a peek at our parents adult magazines or go to an adult movie theatre to find our fetish, but now BDSM and fetish scenes can be found in so many mainstream movies and one only has to login to the internet to find kink. Has it become too common that the excitement and thrill is gone, or do you feel it is a good thing that BDSM can now be seen all around us?


I'm rather indifferent as I don't see what *I* do all around me.

Nothing that I do, personally, is going to be affected by how prevalent bdsm is.

Nothing is going to lose it's potency with me just because it's around more.



agirl







Moonhead -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 9:30:09 AM)

FR:
It's been getting far more acceptable (if not normal of common) since the turn of the '90s. Possibly that's the main lasting effect of the AIDS scare? People who would have been wife swapping back in the '70s are now trying to blag their way into fetish clubs (in a check shirt and jeans) in the hope that some woman in thighboots will spank them, instead...



LafayetteLady -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 9:37:57 AM)

The punk revolution wore a lot of that stuff, and now the "goths" do.

There used to be a show (might still be on, I no longer get those channels), I think it was on WE Network (Women's Entertainment) called, "The Secret Life of Women." I remember there were several episodes that dealt with BDSM. One was on pony play, others on D/s, both with male and female D.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 10:00:08 AM)

Yep, you're right. And the pants with d-rings and straps, rubbery day-glo stuff, boots with more zippers than you can count, etc. still exist, being marketed to... well whoever Hot Topic claims to service now. :p
It all went commercial ages ago. Nothing new under the sun.



RexCorvus -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 1:33:06 PM)

There was a recurring character on CSI a few years back who was a Pro Domme. The main CSI boss and her had kind of a sustained flirtation (maybe more in later episodes), and he talked about the appeal of BDSM from what I recall was a sympathetic standpoint. The Pro Domme didn't turn out to be the murderer, either.

CSI also did an episode about Furries. That didn't turn into a recurring thing, though.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 1:44:18 PM)

Lady Heather

I never saw any of her episodes, but I remember vanilla friends going bananas over her. :p



TheFireWithinMe -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 2:00:09 PM)

quote:

I've also read The Story of O and it was awful.  Bad writing, and the absence of emotions and feelings did not make me think of the book as healthy.


I agree that it's a really bad book but I can't help but wonder if a lot of it is due to terrible translation from French. There are a lot of places in fact when I can tell that is the case as the wrong word is used.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 2:20:28 PM)

Hate to burst your bubble, but way before the internet there were fetish magazines and BDSM groups all over the country. People hooked up in different ways (often placing or responding to an ad in the back of certain magazines), but they did manage to hook up.

Sure, BDSM is more pervasive b/c of the internet. Kink is everywhere, and more and more people are coming out kinky.

Is it acceptable? I think it will be. In my life I have seen homosexuality evolve from being illegal to being "hip." Homosexual have rights now, as they should. This is a major policy change. Unfortunately, it does not force everyone to accept homosexuals, b/c there is no way to do that.

I think there is a growing trend to see kink as more or less normal. I mean, what IS normal? I'm fine saying where I am is at the extreme end of normal, and this is not the first time I have said it.

Also, psychologists have very much changed their views on sadism and masochism when these activities are limited to consensual partners for hot lovely sexual reasons.

But, you know, everything is in a constant state of flux. Some people will accept, others won't, and there is nothing you can do about them.

I personally do not need universal acceptance. I have long since stopped needing others to validate who I am.



fragilepieces -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 2:26:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

While I agree with your basic premise about BDSM themes becoming more prevalent, I am very unhappy with how badly it's represented in common culture. I have seen several movies that involve BDSM:
9-1/2 Weeks - the Dom makes his sub shoplift.  He works in a huge, empty office and seems to do nothing there.
The Secretary - the Dom cannot bring himself to Dominate his sub once he cares for her.  He humiliates her by wasting her time (a manual typewriter?!?!, as well as a trip into the dumpster).
Black Velvet - there's a powerful D/s flavor to the movie, but it's deliberately done to feel creepy and wrong.  Also it's laced with drugs.

I've also read The Story of O and it was awful.  Bad writing, and the absence of emotions and feelings did not make me think of the book as healthy.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that SOMETHING is indeed becoming more common, but it ain't BDSM.  It's a badly misrepresented version of it.

Not to step on your toes but---in regards to BDSM being badly represented all of what you said seems sort of real to me.    There ARE Dom's who require their submissives do things that most would feel are not right morally or legally but it DOES happen.   We can call these Dom's fake however if the submissive IS agreeing to it...can we really tack on that fake label.   (all people on tv who work in an office seem to do nothing I work in an office and sometimes it seems I do nothing).   The Dom can not bring himself to Dominate his sub once he cares for her---OMG----I have heard/read so many times that once a couple moves in together the D/s goes down the toilet.    It happened to one of my friends---although they still say they are M/s they NEVER play anymore---the toys are in the attic gathering dust---she pretty much does what she wants and their live is vanilla except they tack on the title M/s.   And sometime people do try to recapture the D/s flavor by doing silly things---you tripped over the dog---that's a spanking---you did not get my permission to breath--.   Deliberately creepy and wrong---sometimes we enter into this lifestyle just because it has a dark side.   And although it is preached about as being not cool there is a fair amount of drug use circulating the lifestyle---it's just not talked about.  

I will agree with you on the Story of O (actually that was not written as a novel it was a series of letters written by a woman to her lover.), I hated it the first time I read it because of the lack of emotions however, I reread it after several years and saw that 'O' really was a slave in the sense that although she deeply cared for her first Dom---was his name Stephen (it's been a while) she went with the other Dom just because she loved the first Dom and her desire was simply to please him.   Geeze how many slaves would have that absolute depth---to love a Dom so much that she would go with a man she did not want to be owned by just to please the Dom she loved.  That is pretty emotional, pretty romantic pretty freaking intense.      Really fake IMO defies reality IMO but deep nevertheless.

I think that media was brought many people to the lifestyle who never would have thought about it and once they get to places like CM it's all glorified as this terrific experience, that a D/s relationship is somehow amazingly better than a vanilla one and the trust is deeper, and Dom's never lie, and submissive obey completely---and no one has to work, no one gets ill, and every freaking Dom on the planet has a dungeon in his basement and is uber rich, owns his own house that has 7 dozen rooms, has never driven a car with a spot of rust, and of course is NOT fat, short, unattractive---shall I go on---then once you get into it for years and years you learn that really it's just like the shit you saw on TV.   


Sorry Stephen   [;)] 



submaleinuk -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 2:50:40 PM)

Society will only be moving forward when its considered to be unhealthy IMO



LafayetteLady -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 3:07:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Sure, BDSM is more pervasive b/c of the internet. Kink is everywhere, and more and more people are coming out kinky.



Plain old porn is more pervasive as well because of the internet. And people still want it.

Honestly, I think the shine is wearing off the penny for the OP. They thought they could have a line on a "unique" business without much competition. They are finding they aren't unique, they aren't making money, and so THEIR interest is ebbing.



Steelslave -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 10:15:18 PM)

I know it's late to weigh in, but I feel honestly that I've become desensitized to the lifestyle because of how normal it's become.
I feel alot of my thrill gone with it being normal and almost expected



domincalifornia -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/2/2011 11:14:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Hello,

We used to have to sneak a peek at our parents adult magazines or go to an adult movie theatre to find our fetish, but now BDSM and fetish scenes can be found in so many mainstream movies and one only has to login to the internet to find kink. Has it become too common that the excitement and thrill is gone, or do you feel it is a good thing that BDSM can now be seen all around us?


Frankly, I find the only people who ask this type of stuff are those who are a little ticked off that the Internet has made BDSM more accessible, because they felt engaging in BDSM made them "special" and they feel less special that others can engage in BDSM more easily.

For 99.9999999999 percent of other people, they like what they like, and they don't intellectualize it like this.

Personally, I am part of that  99.9999999999 percent. 



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/3/2011 12:00:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domincalifornia
For 99.9999999999 percent of other people, they like what they like, and they don't intellectualize it like this.
Personally, I am part of that  99.9999999999 percent. 


I am force3d to disagree with you.  Very few people, even in this lifestyle are willing to go that far away from the norm.  Most people in this world act just like the people around themselves.

Pretty much all of the emo-kids dress radically different to show how they are not a part of the sheeple.  They all dress radically different in the same way.

BRIAN: Look. You've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for yourselves. You're all individuals! FOLLOWERS: Yes, we're all individuals! BRIAN: You're all different! FOLLOWERS: Yes, we are all different! DENNIS: I'm not.



Ninebelowzero -> RE: Is BDSM becoming normal and common? (12/3/2011 12:39:53 AM)

I can't imagine anything worse.
Picture 20 or 30 yrs from now. All those scummy mummy's turning up at school to pick their kids up in dildo pants with the spiders legs hangin' like Bob Marley's natty dreds & clamps on lactating nips!

& all those fuckwit dads with the beer guts & weedy backs in dim/dom gear.



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