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Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/1/2011 9:33:49 PM

easterlilly

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2011
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I find myself in a bit of a predicament. I am moving soon but I want to make a connection with someone also. I'll only be in the place I'm moving to for a matter of months before I move again, then a year later I will be moving again.I really have no interest in some one night hook up bullshit. Frankly I rarely orgasm so I don't see the point. I know that there needs to be a lot of trust for a true sub/dom experience and trust takes time. So, I'm wondering; is it possible to have a short term relationship?

I am well aware that this may read as a personal add. It's not. It is a genuine question from newbie in a pickle.

Post #: 1

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/1/2011 10:22:30 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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hell as long as your upfront about it who cares what you do.

BadOne

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Post #: 2

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 12:51:39 AM

hangemhigh1953

Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

I'm in a similar situation, except mine includes the possibility of coming back (military). I certainly hope it's possible to find a good short-term or on-off situation :(

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when passion's a prison you can't break free"

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Post #: 3

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 12:54:58 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
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I agree with da BadOne

Be honest and up front. You may meet someone in the same pickle jar you are in.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 4

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 2:09:50 AM

MaddyvanD

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2011
Status: offline

It might work, it might be fun. You might have a laugh and then be on your way with a smile.

But there was a time when I wasn't blue, back before I needed a bottle to see me through. But those days are gone, since I said goodbye, and thinkin' back on it just makes me cry. I left a girl waiting for me down in Mexico, why I left, I'll never know, I won't see her again. So I sit here just tryin' to get high, tryin' not to think, and tryin' not to cry.

So here I sit, just cursing my fate, while the winter storms blow in from the Labrador strait. Guess it seemed a good idea at the time. What the hell was I thinkin' when I said goodbye? I left a girl waiting for me down in Mexico, Why I left, I'll never know. I won't see her again. Don't want to get sober, I'd rather die. 'Cause that'll be the day I ask myself why, and when I do that I know that's the day I'll cry... and cry... and cry.

It could go either way.

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Post #: 5

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 4:08:31 AM

ilearn

Posts: 23
Joined: 12/5/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: easterlilly

I find myself in a bit of a predicament. I am moving soon but I want to make a connection with someone also. I'll only be in the place I'm moving to for a matter of months before I move again, then a year later I will be moving again.I really have no interest in some one night hook up bullshit. Frankly I rarely orgasm so I don't see the point. I know that there needs to be a lot of trust for a true sub/dom experience and trust takes time. So, I'm wondering; is it possible to have a short term relationship?

I am well aware that this may read as a personal add. It's not. It is a genuine question from newbie in a pickle.

One thing I have noticed about the world in general is that there's a certain balance that it is able to maintain. If you want a short-term relationship, I am sure there are folks out there looking for the same.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 6

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 7:06:58 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
hell as long as your upfront about it who cares what you do.

Absolutely with SB on this.
Hit him with the truth. Stop. Drop. Open wide.
If he enters, he's agreeing :-)

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(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 7

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 7:46:05 AM

seekerofslut

Posts: 215
Joined: 9/7/2011
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There's nothing wrong with going into a short term relationship provided it's eyes open for both. Funny thing about short term though as it has been known to become much longer.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 8

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 7:54:54 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
hell as long as your upfront about it who cares what you do.

Absolutely with SB on this.
Hit him with the truth. Stop. Drop. Open wide.
If he enters, he's agreeing :-)

Dude. YOU HAVE MADE ME LAUGH IN A BAD WAY! Thank you.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 9

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 9:15:46 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

" Is a short term relationship possible?"

It would seem so, since the vast majority of BDSM and vanilla relationships are short term.

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(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 10

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 9:34:03 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

" Is a short term relationship possible?"

It would seem so, since the vast majority of BDSM and vanilla relationships are short term.

Yer, but most of them dom't plan them to be.....lol

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Post #: 11

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 9:41:49 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Sounds like what you really want are some "Friends with Benefits" relationships.

Really, since you are female, it will be much easier for you to find an "FWB" situation than a guy would. Many women think of a guy as a "player" when he only wants "FWB," but a lot of guys would be thrilled to have a woman who wants one.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 12

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 9:55:21 AM

LillyBoPeep

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Joined: 12/29/2010
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Gotta love double-standards. ^_^

OP, as others have said, it's totally possible to have a happy short-term relationship, as long as you're honest and upfront. But also be aware that some people, even the fellas, don't always have as easy a time separating their emotions from things as they think or say they do. There's always the risk that someone will want more from you than you can give -- not totally your fault, really, if you're honest and very clear, but it's still a risk.

So just make sure you make good choices.

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Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica

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Post #: 13

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 2:18:13 PM

easterlilly

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/29/2011
Status: offline

Thanks everyone. For some reason I've never been good at friends with benefits. I've always ended up in a relationship with said person and it's almost never been my goal.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 14

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 2:31:33 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

There are times in one's life where special friends with special benefits is what works for BOTH.

It can be as short as a weekend or as long as ....hhmm..a year?

If both are honest and upfront, what is the issue?

Sure, it will take some time to learn each other in a BDSM way, but that could be part of the fun and part of the challenge. There is much a couple can do and still be doing what many of us consider "light" BDSM.

I have had short term relationships where we both knew it would only last ? amount of time -- more than once. And you know? These were some of my most fulfilling relationships. We couldn't get too close, b/c the thing had a sell by date, but b/c it had a sell by date, we had to be excruciatingly honest for it to work.

And Gawd I do love that. Excruciatingly honest always does it for me.

Just my thoughts, Chatte

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Post #: 15

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 2:50:50 PM

domincalifornia

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: easterlilly

I find myself in a bit of a predicament. I am moving soon but I want to make a connection with someone also. I'll only be in the place I'm moving to for a matter of months before I move again, then a year later I will be moving again.I really have no interest in some one night hook up bullshit. Frankly I rarely orgasm so I don't see the point. I know that there needs to be a lot of trust for a true sub/dom experience and trust takes time. So, I'm wondering; is it possible to have a short term relationship?

I am well aware that this may read as a personal add. It's not. It is a genuine question from newbie in a pickle.

Frankly, the fact that you're a woman makes this easy. There will be a long line of guys who will be fine with a "relationship" that lasts only a few months. From their standpoint, you're really just talking about an extended one-night stand, because they know it will end when you move. From your standpoint, the question is how you define a "relationship." If you merely mean you want someone to be monogamous for a few months of fun and games, that won't be a problem.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 16

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/2/2011 2:55:35 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

Gotta love double-standards. ^_^

OP, as others have said, it's totally possible to have a happy short-term relationship, as long as you're honest and upfront. But also be aware that some people, even the fellas, don't always have as easy a time separating their emotions from things as they think or say they do. There's always the risk that someone will want more from you than you can give -- not totally your fault, really, if you're honest and very clear, but it's still a risk.

So just make sure you make good choices.

Yea, well I didn't create 'em, lol.

To the OP, a short term relationship is not really different from an FWB relationship. In both, the people need to keep their emotions in check. From what you are saying, that hasn't always been possible for you to do. There's nothing wrong with that, and as LPB says above, that happens to some people (although I would think more than just "some").

So if you don't want to end up hurting at the end of it, and you aren't going to be able to keep your emotions in "check," those one night stands seem like the only way you can get some of those needs met. Go to munches, or local events. You should be able to find at least a few people who aren't interesed in long term.

You know, you didn't say why you needed to be a nomad for a year or so, but sometimes plans change. If you meet someone special, who knows? Perhaps yours will as well.

(in reply to LillyBoPeep)

Post #: 17

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/3/2011 8:36:05 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

My subconscious seems to know when it's time for me to have casual relationships and when I'm ready to be serious. The universe only sent me men suitable for short term relationships before I went into the military, after my divorce, and when I was getting ready to leave Florida (which took quite a long time.)

Once in the military, I met my future husband right after tech school, and I met someone shortly after moving back home and we are now living together :)

OP - perhaps you should seek Tops rather than Doms until you are settled.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 18

RE: Is a short term relationship possible? - 12/3/2011 9:01:33 AM

MrBukani

Posts: 1920
Joined: 4/18/2010
Status: offline

Maybe the problem is that you fall in love, wich is pretty normal in a relationship.

(in reply to easterlilly)

Post #: 19

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