Sending a PM

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ilearn -> Sending a PM (12/2/2011 6:23:45 PM)
Is it frowned up on? Sending a PM to a member who's been around much longer than you? What's the norm?

LordNMasterGrey -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 6:27:05 PM)
In any forum, I would not think so. How else do we communicate with others in a less then public fashion here? I think you should be quite alright.

stacey4u2luv -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 6:35:02 PM)
i would hope not because that would eliminate a lot of people from messaging me if they look at my join date and decide not to pm me for that reason.

ilearn -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 6:50:23 PM)
Yes, but some people find it offensive. So it is better to clear up things first. My 2 cents: If you don't want to get PM's from strangers, turn them off or some setting that lets you get PM's from your buddies. I believe that's a feature.

caelestis -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 7:00:39 PM)
I've never run into people being offended by being sent a message, but rather offended by the contents of the message.

DarkSteven -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 7:03:06 PM)
What's the issue? Just send them the message, and start a conversation. Keep in mind that a message starting "You said XXX in the Ask a Submissive forum. That is a different way of looking at things from my usual way. I've thought about your statement and..." is a lot better than "U gotz nice titz. Lets fuck." Be respectful. And if you write a sub/slave who's owned, acknowledge that relationship.

Epytropos -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 7:06:25 PM)
What kind of image are we presenting of ourselves that someone feels like they have to ask permission to contact? I love it when random people from the forums message me, and I have to assume just about everyone else does, too. If we didn't want to socialize we wouldn't be here, now would we?

poise -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 7:15:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ilearn Yes, but some people find it offensive. So it is better to clear up things first. My 2 cents: If you don't want to get PM's from strangers, turn them off or some setting that lets you get PM's from your buddies. I believe that's a feature. wipes the sweat from your brow There are quite a few filters in the mail controls that can be used to block messages from a specific gender, age, location, etc. While anyone can still write them a message, most often it's sent directly to their bulk folder as junk, and the sender will assume they didn't bother offering a reply, when in fact they never got the mail. If this was a person that had garnered your interest offline, you would have a 50-50 chance of her taking notice of you simply by being in the same place at the same time. On sites such as this, there are an awful lot of women that don't even know you exist, and won't until you knock on their door. Take a deep breath....write her!

DesFIP -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 7:24:13 PM)
It depends on two things: first, if you've gained a less than stellar reputation because of your forum posts, then don't be surprised if people don't want to talk to you. And secondly, if your messages are polite and not requests to have sex with you. Asking elucidation of something they said should get a response. Asking them to cybersex with you will get you blocked.

myotherself -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 8:21:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven What's the issue? Just send them the message, and start a conversation. Keep in mind that a message starting "You said XXX in the Ask a Submissive forum. That is a different way of looking at things from my usual way. I've thought about your statement and..." is a lot better than "U gotz nice titz. Lets fuck." Be respectful. And if you write a sub/slave who's owned, acknowledge that relationship. And yet we had a lovely chat the first time you sent me that message [8D]

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 8:24:34 PM)
I write PMs all the time, and I hope anyone feels comfortable sending me a random one. :)

DarkSteven -> RE: Sending a PM (12/2/2011 8:25:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven What's the issue? Just send them the message, and start a conversation. Keep in mind that a message starting "You said XXX in the Ask a Submissive forum. That is a different way of looking at things from my usual way. I've thought about your statement and..." is a lot better than "U gotz nice titz. Lets fuck." Be respectful. And if you write a sub/slave who's owned, acknowledge that relationship. And yet we had a lovely chat the first time you sent me that message [8D] Well, yeah, but by the eighth time....

Ninebelowzero -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 12:43:38 AM)
Sheesh messaging. Next peeps will be chatting each other up & fucking! Stop it right now dammit! quote: ORIGINAL: ilearn Is it frowned up on? Sending a PM to a member who's been around much longer than you? What's the norm?

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 2:50:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ilearn Is it frowned up on? Sending a PM to a member who's been around much longer than you? What's the norm? Um... ilearn, I just read your profile and it advertises that you are primarily here for phone sex and cybering. If the woman you write to wants someone they go out with on a normal, r/t date that might lead to a kinky LTR...she might pass you by. Just part of her screening process and nothing personal. Btw, my mentor used to screen Doms by putting "Make sure your first sentence says purple crayon or I will delete your letter unread" deep into her journal entries. She figured that if the man wasn't interested enough in her to read as much as he could before sending a letter... where is a toilet flushing emotie when ya need one? In my ad, I say I am looking for friends...and I write back to anyone who isn't creepy, trying to pick a fight, or trying to grab at my... [sm=mistress.gif]...flogger! If you are talking about asking for permission to PM someone while in the chatrooms here, that's different. It is considered polite to ask someone in the main room if you can send a PM. I used to spend hours each day there winding down and enjoying several conversations with friends... sometimes two or three all at the same time...and strange men I had never talked with would flood me with PMs. Most expected me to drop everything and talk with them, lol. I doubt most males here are hit with a dozen or more PMs in the chatroom while they are trying to talk with friends, or with a particular someone who might end up being quite special. Unexpected PMs can be...annoying. Especially when they pop up mid typing and I didn't notice; stuff gets sent to strangers instead of to the friend I was trying to respond to. I spent a lot of time telling random PMers that I was already in chat but could talk with them in about half an hour or whatever. Also, it is better to ask before sending a PM in a chatroom because that person may be owned and not allowed PMs, while others might be there to relax in the main chatroom and want to focus on the discussion there, not on PMs. It might be good for you to have two windows at CM open at the same time, so you can type a username into the Search feature within the Home page...and get some kind of warning in advance how your PM would be received.

Fornica -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 5:13:35 AM)
fr You've been here since 2007...why are you asking this?

Ninebelowzero -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 12:05:17 PM)
I just send messages with the word Breast, just that. It works for me.

MadAxeman -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 12:56:13 PM)
I'll talk to anyone. Do prefer to receive the first message. At least then I know conversation is welcome. I'm a straight D-type and almost every S-type I chat with complains about the idiot 'kneel bitch' messages they get. It is most tedious 'apologising' for the behaviour of so many arseholes. I do regard it as poor netiquette to view someone's profile and not say a few words. I try to do this on the rare occasions that I check someone out. If I get viewed but there's no message it depends on my mood whether I'll prod them or not. Cuteness and the owned/unowned may be a factor. Hey people. Message me.

DesFIP -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 2:58:05 PM)
I view profiles all the time without dropping a line. Because I want some info as to why they would say what they did in a forum. An 18 year old being shocked by guys making promises and then poofing gets more leeway than a 60 year old who should be a lot more cognizant of human behavior.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 4:07:22 PM)
I don't write a PM every time I look at a profile. I just look usually because someone said something interesting, and I want to be nosy and look around a little more. "Interesting" means all sorts of things to me -- things I disagree with, but that still provoke thoughts, thinks that I totally agree with, things that scare me, things that give me the shivers, blah blah blah. :p Some people I PM because they said something neat -- again, I might disagree, but I still think it's neat. Some people just have really well-written or interesting profiles, and I drop a random message to let them know. I sometimes preface PMs with a disclaimer letting people know I don't want anything from them. hahaha Over time I've learned that that is sometimes necessary, and it's better to be safe than sorry. :p

Fornica -> RE: Sending a PM (12/3/2011 4:13:31 PM)
The awesome thing is that I got your message BEFORE I saw that you wrote this. I just shrugged and responded in kind ;) quote: ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero I just send messages with the word Breast, just that. It works for me.

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