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NRE - 12/3/2011 2:02:44 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hello,
2 part question here
i am wondering if anyone here has had experience with NRE (New Relationship Energy) and if so how do/did you handle it?

Also, if it were the 's" tpe that you were intersested in and she had it bad... how was that handled?

please and thank you!

Cheers!

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OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 3:34:30 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I've never heard of the term so I looked it up. From what I read it sounds like all the fireworks, bells and whistles you have with a new relationship.

For me not having that simply came with age and maturity. When I was young I got that and it would fade and we'd both get bored and the relationship would end. When I got older that just stopped  happening because I have been in a few relationships, had more life experience and I wasn't looking for a quick chemistry type thing but something that would last and be stable.

I have no idea how old you are since I didn't look at your profile but I would say if you're young and haven't had many relationships in your life, then it will simply wear off. As you mature you'll realize that there's more than that to relationships.



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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 3:44:50 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		The OP is actually 47. This "NRE" crap is what most of us refer to as "the honeymoon phase." You know, lw, when you get those little flutters you were so happy to see him? Yes, for many that happiness doesn't go away, but still it is nothing more than the honeymoon phase with some new fancy name to make it look "special" and probably politically correct.

The way you handle is it that everyone acts like the adults they are supposed to be.

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 3:51:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		ok 47....eerrmm....shouldn't you understand that by your age?

Since you don't I can only assume you've only ever had one or two relationships in your life. So at this point all I can tell you is it fades. If it doesn't I'd say you're lucky. For most people it fades. That doesn't mean you both stop loving each other. It just means you both are comfortable with each other. I'll take comfort over fireworks any day.



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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 3:55:06 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I'd be very sad if the gaga head over heels zest and excitement over the other person feelings stopped as I got older for each new person. The honey moon phase is so fun and special, and yeah, it does wear off for some people but the trick would be to keep it going, keep that excitement and that zest for the other alive through out the whole relationship, if it was a good one.

We have been together for 5 years and live together, and we're still excited about seeing the other when he gets home from work and it's finally us time.

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 3:57:14 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

i am wondering if anyone here has had experience with NRE (New Relationship Energy) and if so how do/did you handle it?
Yes I have, and I handle it by enjoying every wonderful moment of it.

quote:

Also, if it were the 's" tpe that you were intersested in and she had it bad... how was that handled?
I don't see how that makes any difference, so, same answer, I enjoy it as much as I can.


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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 4:35:30 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		NRE can be nice, you just have to be realistic. And keep your wits about you.
Enjoy it, but don't form expectations based on it. The "honeymoon phase" may or may not last when real life starts to set in.

For the second part... are you experiencing it towards someone who has a mutual interest?
I guess the same stuff still applies?
Enjoy it, have fun, but don't expect things to always be that way. Expect change, but change doesn't always have to be negative.

Also, are you in a behavior pattern that's commonly called "sub frenzy?"

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 12/3/2011 4:36:10 PM >

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 4:41:05 PM   
girlivy


Posts: 699
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks for the input... i understand it totally at this age, just never heard the term before reciently.. .. and feel it has nothing to do with the amounts of relationships one has.. quality is certinaly more important than quanity for some, however, i've also learned Some are NRE junkies and get hung up on that energy from what i've learned and become somewhat "junkies" on that energy.......

thanks again

_____________________________

AUTHENTIC SPIRITUAL GROWTH NEVER COMES FROM EXPERIENCES THAT THE EGO CAN PREDICT OR CONTROL.
OUR SPIRIT HAS ITS OWN AGENDA: OUR DESTINY.
Be yourself, everyone else is taken!

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 4:44:05 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlivy

however, i've also learned Some are NRE junkies and get hung up on that energy from what i've learned and become somewhat "junkies" on that energy.......

thanks again


Yeeaaaah I've met people like that. They're addicted to the "new shiny" and go looking every time it wears off, neglecting whoever they've already got in tow.

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 5:25:17 PM   
Rectio


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/26/2011
Status: offline 		Most relationships are at their best in the first year, therefore most relationships should last about... oh fuck that can't be right.

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 8:25:44 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		We're three years into this relationship and I still get butterflies when he gets home from work or I wake up, open my eyes and look over at him.
Or get a text from him. Or a punch.
I hope it never ends.
I handle it by friggin smiling throughout the day, laughing as often as possible and doing everything I can to make sure he knows he's the center of my world.
He handles it by touching me as often as possible and making sure I know how much he loves me.

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RE: NRE - 12/3/2011 8:41:36 PM   
MikeSojourner


Posts: 31
Joined: 11/8/2011
Status: offline 		The only real "how do you handle it" I can think of is ---   don't let it talk you into something you know is dumb and wouldn't do otherwise.  "I know we just met, but sure, I'd love to spend the weekend at the abandoned amusement park with you".

Other than that, enjoy the rush.



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RE: NRE - 12/4/2011 3:08:38 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		Steve and me are married and although our lives have settled down into a happy bliss, like Aileen, we still get butterflies for each other every day. When its mutual its a beautiful thing.

NRE is what so many of us put down to lust and lust can be seen as such a self indulgent thing. Lust brings us that heady rush that is in my opinion the exciting part of an emotional connection. I think its a natural phenomena and part of the transition towards love. When it works for both involved it doesn't die it just settles. Its not something that can be controlled because its all to do with chemical reactions going on in the brain and it isn't something only young people are struck with. It can happen at any age. It doesn't have anything to do with common sense or maturity, it can strike anyone at any age.
The only problem with NRE is when its only happening to one person and not both. When that energy isn't working both ways it can feel suffocating for the other person. I have been in an early relationship where I wasn't struck with NRE but she was and it was exhausting. After three weeks she was proposing to me and was crippled by topsy turvy emotions. When I ended things she became over emotional and totally irrational.
Its a wonderful thing when it happens to both of you but sadly it often doesn't.



< Message edited by MariaB -- 12/4/2011 3:10:44 AM >

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RE: NRE - 12/4/2011 4:48:57 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You make sure that your brain makes your decisions, not your hormones.

If it's mutual, then enjoy it and hope it lasts and turns into something deeper.

If it isn't, then have enough self respect not to act like a middle schooler with a crush on the older boy who doesn't remember your name.


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RE: NRE - 12/4/2011 6:48:57 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

I don't think this thread should be about losing control or lack of self control but about understanding what happens to us when we are hit with NRE. If we understand it then perhaps we can gain the emotional intelligence to recognize it and manage it when and if it happens to us.

Its easy to say its childish nonsense when its not actually happening to us, just like its easy to say that jealousy is such a wasted emotion. Emotions are emotions and each and every one of us have suffered from emotional reactions at some time in our lives. We can all look back and laugh at our uncontrolled thought patterns or how perhaps we reacted irationally to something that now just seems ridiculous to us. Like it or not emotions are helped along by increased dopamine, serotonin and phenylethylamine along with a bundle of other stimulating hormones. When they are fully active and flowing in greater quantities than normal, these hormones act on our subconscious like addictive drugs.
These hormones don't subside as we mature from a girl into a woman. NRE has absolutely nothing to do with age or maturity.

In past relationships I haven't felt NRE but oh boy did it hit me hard when I met Steve. Fortunately for me it hit him too and so all is good. I have never loved anyone with such a passion as I love Steve and he says the same about me. For us that initial NRE is what bound us together.

Its really not all negative

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RE: NRE - 12/4/2011 7:15:39 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		+1 MariaB

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