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consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 10:17:46 PM   
aara


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline 		I gave my sub a consideration collar not too long ago. I thought it was right, but maybe I rushed it. To me a consideration collar is like an engagement ring. what are you views on consideration collars?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 10:35:31 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well, you updated your profile about *finding* him in October.  If you consider it similar to an engagement ring, would you think it too soon to get engaged in less than two months?

(in reply to aara)
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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 10:39:48 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I have nothing against them ... for other people. I would take it to mean I'm not sure if I want you, but no one else can have you until I figure it out.

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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 10:43:22 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Yea, as a general rule, I think they are exactly like that.  Kind of like saying, "you *sort of* belong to me, but I want to see if I can "better deal" you before I commit.

But since the OP made the comment about it being like an "engagement" ring, I responded only to that.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 10:47:22 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I don't look at collars in the same way others do ... like engagement or wedding rings. I've been married too many times to think that way. LOL

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 11:29:11 PM   
SoulAlloy


Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline 		Can't say I've seen it like an engagement ring, but then I've not seen it like a 'you're mine but I'm going to keep looking' either.

To me I view it like that transition from dating to being in a relationship, though it's not personally something I'd use.

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(in reply to MsLadySue)
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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 11:32:18 PM   
MistrixMsE


Posts: 198
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

I don't look at collars in the same way others do ... like engagement or wedding rings. I've been married too many times to think that way. LOL


LOLOL amen sister...


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Sadist with a sense of humor... your predicament amuses me.

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RE: consideration collar. - 12/4/2011 11:54:04 PM   
aara


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/20/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Well, you updated your profile about *finding* him in October.  If you consider it similar to an engagement ring, would you think it too soon to get engaged in less than two months?


we have actually been together since Sept. and i understand better now thank you all. its just sometimes i wonder if i rushed into it.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 3:47:49 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Why do you feel you rushed into it? Are you feeling pressured to give him a "real" collar? Or are you no longer feeling the same way towards him?

The only time I've been collared, it was by a guy who wanted to be together, have kids, the whole nnine, so my opinion is probably biased. Lots of people view and use collars in different ways. My view of consideration collars is similar to what some others have expressed - "I'm noyt sure about you, but I want your devotion while I sort it out."

But hey, plenty of people use "consideration" as one of several steps toward a healthy relationship. On person described it to me as more like "courting" than dating. Dating seems more casual, while courting is similar but less casual, and with a direct focus towards the future.

I dunno, man. :p
I guess... figure out why you're having second thoughts/feelinng like you rushed it, and see what can be done about it?

< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 12/5/2011 3:48:45 AM >

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RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 4:18:08 AM   
risktaker9


Posts: 197
Joined: 3/10/2010
Status: offline 		I think consideration collars are kind of high schooly, like going steady. To me, they seem like a declaration of saying I like you, lets see how things turn out. I think they're kind of silly.

Knowing that you view consideration collars as an engagement type situation OP, I'd say you moved forward with it pretty quickly. If it were me, I'd never accept an engagement ring from anyone after knowing them for 3 months much less give one out.

(in reply to aara)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 5:18:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I like the idea, if the relationship after the collar of consideration will be the same as it would be after a full collar, just not as definite.  Like you said, analogous to the engagement prior to marriage.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to risktaker9)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 5:39:02 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		I think consideration collars are silly and high-schoolish.

As MsLadySue said: "I would take it to mean I'm not sure if I want you, but no one else can have you until I figure it out."




_____________________________



(in reply to aara)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 6:51:37 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to aara)
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RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 6:58:19 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work.



This is how I approach it. I am very careful about offering a collar and I would not do it if I were "considering" someone. If that were the case, I'd date them -- and consider them.

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 12:53:59 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aara

I gave my sub a consideration collar not too long ago.


I agree with those who said that consideration collars seem "high schoolish".  As others have stated, it seems like a selfish attempt to keep the sub from meeting anyone else while you decide if you want him/her or not.

In your opinion, how is a "consideration collar" different than a real collar?  Do you still expect the sub to obey you?  Or can the sub say "no" to any command that he/she chooses, since they're only "under consideration"?  Is the sub allowed to serve other Dommes, or do you expect their service to be exclusively to you?  Since they're only "under consideration" it seems like it would be wrong for you to expect exclusivity on their part.

IMO, if you expect them to obey you like they're yours, and you want them to be exclusive to you like they're yours, then why not just make them yours?

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 12/5/2011 12:54:36 PM >

(in reply to aara)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 12:57:29 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a


quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I don't believe in types of collars. You either collar someone or you don't. To me a collar means a major commttment to making a relationship work.



This is how I approach it. I am very careful about offering a collar and I would not do it if I were "considering" someone. If that were the case, I'd date them -- and consider them.


Darn!  I wish I had read these two responses before I wrote my own.  It would have saved me quite a bit of typing, since I agree completely with the above.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 1:22:48 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Since prior to a commitment, all things are "equal" in a sense, perhaps subs should start bestowing doms with "consideration leashes."  You know something that says, "I'm thinking of following you, but I'm not sure yet, so here is a "leash" made out of tissue paper.  If you pull too hard, I'm done considering and you are out of here."

(in reply to Madame4a)
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RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 1:59:54 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

what are you views on consideration collars?
They're stupid.

(in reply to aara)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 5:36:23 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

what are you views on consideration collars?
They're stupid.



Maybe not exactly stupid. How about using the word silly to describe them?

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: consideration collar. - 12/5/2011 6:57:38 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
Status: offline
quote:

How about using the word silly to describe them?
I suppose I could, but since I think they are stupid, I will use the word stupid.

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 20
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