Family wanting to meet Master

Family wanting to meet Master (Full Version)

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Sub03 -> Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 12:04:39 PM)
Ill try to make this clear if I dont my apoligies beforehand. I have been with my Master for 2 months and it has developed into a 24/7 live in situation. And before I get accused of moving in too fast and all that, I already know it started a lil fast but it has worked so far and I dont regret moving in at all. But now my mom and sisters want to meet my Master. And they know nothing of this part of my life. They know I am living with Him but I have said He is a close friend and a boyfriend of sorts. And He is also alot older then me, im 21 and and He is 55. My family knows His age but I know when they meet Him they are going to have questions on why He is so much older. And also I have no idea of how to address my Master when He meets my family. I cant call Him Master obviously but calling Him by His first name just seems weird. And I really dont know how to introduce Him. My Master is willing to meet my family probablly more so then i am. So that isnt a problem but I know my family isnt going to take it easily. My family is very close minded and judgemental and I know this isnt going to be easy. Any suggestions would be greately appreciated.

feastie -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 12:13:18 PM)
Ask your Master what he'd like you to call him in your family's presence instead of Master. Since you've already said he's a close friend or boyfriend of sorts, it would follow that you'd call him by his name. However, it makes you feel weird, so how about some other term of endearment. Personally, I'd have a problem with my 21 year old being involved with a 55 year old and I'd have PLENTY of questions. So yeah, this is probably going to be tough, but since you made the decision to move in with the guy, then you're going to have to suck it up and get through it. The rough part probably won't come until after the visit is over and you talk to your family at a later date. Good luck to you.

lisa1978 -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 12:31:29 PM)
It really comes down to what you want your family to know or think they can handle? Do you want him to be a friend/roomate, "good" friend, boyfriend, your owner. As far as a name to call him, again it depends on what you want you r family to know and what you two come up with talking to each other about it. Personaly for me, this is your family and you need to make the final call on the situation, but the odds are if you are close to your family, roomate is not going to fly, but with that type of age difference be ready for questions and an upturn in phone calls and Emails from them.

corsair -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 12:34:19 PM)
sweety I understand your delema just hang in there talk to you Master and make sure he knows of your concerns. as for your family and your mom just show her how happy you truly are and she may not understand but she will be happy for you.she still may have concerns but that is her right. after all she brought you into this world. as for what to call him talk to him about it and I am sure you can come up with something and after all this will come up again out in the nilla workld and you will have it worked out now keep me updated and you know you have a friend

genvieve -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 2:27:28 PM)
Ohhhh, the family issue...that's a tough one. i come from a closed-minded Roman Catholic... Italian family. It couldn't get any worse than that, right? If you are uncomfortable with using His first name in front of Your family..trying using the term "Love." Try some things out at home on Him...see how you feel with calling him those particular names. Also, keep in mind that your family doesn't need to know everything about your relationship. Y/you're dating, He's part of your life...that's all the really need to know. Other than that, i think you'll find they would all out ask Him "Do you beat my daughter on a regular basis?" Although, note in that regard... make sure you have no visible marks on you when going to see them...just to avoid that issue. As to His age...i do not think it needs to be explained. They will undoubtedly ask Him, not you...but the answer is simply that you both love eachother very much. Keep stressing the things you have in common (out of bed, of course). you'll be fine. Good luck with it. Keep us posted out here. -genvieve

jamesthehumanrug -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 4:37:21 PM)
greetings subo number one -DO NOT- EVER MENTION "SEX ,OR SEXUAL-ACTIVITY" , OR ANYTHING, ABOUT IT, TO THE FAMILY ;forget- it ! ;they won't, if you do;it's a big mistake;and your business; number two, if you have, to subject your top (AND RELATIONSHIP)to family ;respect him to the upmost ,and, say: he is a colleague, and, someone ,from your community ,and, a very MUCH respected member!...,so please act accordingly ,or you won't ever bring anyone ,especially, HIM near the family;period.make it completely clear and very understood way ahead of time, that's it;good luck;do unto others and all that, and more to you .... FINALLY CALL HIM SIR ...RESPECT IS PRETTY NATURAL POLITE AND EASY ANYWHERE .....

sephisurrender3d -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 8:05:37 PM)
hello sub03, In 4 days i am taking my Master Home to meet my Family...Master and i have been together 2 years and married one of those .. This will be the first time meeting them due to financial reasons..Im worried as hell about whats gonna happen and what if i slip and say Master ect ect ect.. With some good advice from some wonderful people here and aftyer talking to Master i will be calling Him Honey, baby,dear,or Bob.. And as for questions or coments ive decided im a big girl so what if im bi, pierced, tattoed,a sub.. Im me and if they cant handle that well thats on them ... BUT... if they cant handle me then they better realize with every reaction their is a consequence..I have sole custody of my kids and they go nowhere without me or my permission... anyway good luck hun...and btw Master and istarted talking Jan1st of 2004, i was collared Jan 10th and He asked me to marry Him the same day even though i was 2000 miles away...On Feb 14th ,2004 i packed my kids and came Home and have been with Master every since...Happily Married .... sephi

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 8:38:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Ask your Master what he'd like you to call him in your family's presence instead of Master. Since you've already said he's a close friend or boyfriend of sorts, it would follow that you'd call him by his name. However, it makes you feel weird, so how about some other term of endearment. Personally, I'd have a problem with my 21 year old being involved with a 55 year old and I'd have PLENTY of questions. So yeah, this is probably going to be tough, but since you made the decision to move in with the guy, then you're going to have to suck it up and get through it. The rough part probably won't come until after the visit is over and you talk to your family at a later date. Good luck to you. ...ABSOLUTELY!!!.....nodding in agreement....Tempting

subtlesubie -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 8:39:41 PM)
If your family has any sense at all, they are planning an intervention for you. 55! Are you nuts? Dump the fossil - get with someone you could conceivably have something in common with before I call Dateline Wednesday.

theRose4U -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 9:30:30 PM)
quote: If you are uncomfortable with using His first name in front of Your family..trying using the term "Love." Try some things out at home on Him...see how you feel with calling him those particular names. My boys in public are always refered to as sweet, hon or honey. No one bats an eye. quote: Also, keep in mind that your family doesn't need to know everything about your relationship. Y/you're dating, He's part of your life...that's all the really need to know. Other than that, i think you'll find they would all out ask Him "Do you beat my daughter on a regular basis?" Although, note in that regard... make sure you have no visible marks on you when going to see them...just to avoid that issue. If my family ever had reason to ask a partner are you hitting my daughter they probably would be asking the question on top of him while adjusting his face. I totally agree with the no marks and a subtle collar if any. Family will usually be cool if you are. How you explain your relationship considering the age difference would be something I would discuss and practice with your dom. Likelyhood is that if they see you're happy and better off for knowing him they'll come around. He's more likely to get the deep grilling in private than you will. When I was involved with a man 15 years older (didn't realize it when we started) I just told my family how happy I was, things he helped me learn, they spoke with him at length and realized that he adored me, was intelligent & articulate and started making wedding plans.

Arpig -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 9:43:31 PM)
If he is your Master, then ask him what he wishes you to do about this situation and then do it....simple enough don't you think?

Quivver -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/28/2006 9:57:20 PM)
1st thing I wonder is if you've discussed this dinner with him at all.... Next thing that goes through my head is the Mom in me, I have spawn your age and if they told me 2 weeks ago that their new ~boy friend~ was 10 years older then I am I can guarentee you that I'd be inviting the two of you to Dinner too. It wouldnt be a pleasant meal let alone a pretty sight. I'm not diss'in the arrangment over the age as much as I may sound to be, but to be honest the first thing that comes to mind goes right there and I'm sure your parent(s) are thinking the same thing. I'd get your Master's imput but trust me you could be in for a real bumpy ride where family is conserned............... good luck

mons -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 4:03:22 AM)
Sub3 This is so simple come on now your not going to tell your mother or father he is your Master ! Just place him as your boyfriend, that is all he is i am sure not ready to disrespect you family by saying " Hello I am your daughter Master" no dear it is simple just introduce him as your boyfriend that is it. the age thing is simple too he likes young girls good luck mons/jane

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 8:53:35 AM)
Are you his first "young piece of ass" he's been with and met their family? If not, he's got experience in this and can let you know what to expect. Being someone who's gone through the "meet my "boyfriend" who's over 20 years older than me" process a few times now, here's my advice. As weird as it might seem, addressing him with his name really is the way to go here, at least when it comes to introductions. After that, sir or monsieur would be fine. Meet for dinner at a public restaurant. Make it casual, relaxing and just a "ok now everyone knows everyone" sort of night. THEY DO NOT NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING. If you are like most families that do NOT talk about sex and relationships casually, then don't bring it up now. What do they need to know? That you're happy together. That you have future plans together (whether it's to invest, go on a trip, or SOMETHING- let them know that you see your future visions of eachother as a unit). That you still cherish and love your family. Everyone should be respectful to eachother. Be prepared for some chills towards the older pervert guy looking for hot ass (hey that's what they will be thinking, and is that so off the mark?) and you respond by laughing politely and just smiling, reiterating that you are happy and solid together.

Wildfleurs -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 9:02:38 AM)
I agree with a lot of the advice I saw on the thread so far. In general when my owner and I are around my family there aren't a lot of times where I have to directly get his attention by using his first name. Usually I just tap him on the shoulder and such. For the immediate introductions you probably will have to use his first name, but thats the only time where I would see it as necessary. There is really no reason for them to know about your dynamic, I think that would only seriously create some unnecessary problems at the exact point that you are also trying to introduce them to someone new in your life. Seeing there is a large age difference I'm sure they will have questions, but quite frankly its a two month old relationship so chances are they won't necessarily be as hard on him as if you were planning on getting married or had been together years. I think for the immediate introduction if you keep it as light and easy as possible with a fixed period of time that you both will be over (like for dinner only) that will make it easier. I also think its worth talking to your family beforehand and making it clear that while you expect questions that its only the first time (in a series of times) that they will be able to meet him. In many ways I would make it clear how far its okay for them to push. Its also an opportunity for them to vent some of their concerns before they meet him and for you to be able to tell if they are really ready. C~

MlilnikkiM -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 9:24:08 AM)
WOW, okay I have to add my two cents worth to this. I am 22, my Master is 52, yes 30years difference in ages. To some that is a big deal, but to us age is just a number. Likewise we have been together for over two years now, and He has met my family. Yes in the beginning there were questions as to why I was with someone so much older; there were questions as to why he was with someone so much younger. All in all after they met him and got to know him, they love him and have made every attempt to make Him feel a part of the family. My mom even knows about the lifestyle aspects, and while she does ask question from time to time about things she reads, or hears, or doesn’t understand, the most important she has said is ‘As long as He makes you happy, and keeps you safe then that is all that matters.’ Those of us in the lifestyle shouldn’t be judgmental of other people’s relationships, desires, etc and then expect others to be accepting of theirs. I understand the maternal concern, but jumping down a child’s throat and flaming them for their happiness, is just going to cause rifts in the family. Now if it’s respectful discussion on the issues and such, that’s totally something different and in my opinion okay. As for what you address Him as in front of your family, if they don’t know then Lifestyle titles are out of line. Especially if you don’t want the questions to go there. Futhermore you both need to sit down and talk about what may or may not be discussed at this dinner. Make sure you are both on the same page, and understanding of how to handle various things that MAY come up. Likewise if it turns badly, you have the right and the ability to get up and walk out. Its your family, and only you know if you can work through the difficulties of the situation. I agree though that families don’t need to know 100% of what goes on in your household/relationship/lifestyle. Best of luck Mellow’s nikki pardon the 'reply to' i did a quick reply and didn't realize it would connect me to a reply to someone's post, yay for being new to the forums!

feastie -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 9:39:00 AM)
I've seen only one flame on this thread. Every other reply has been completely realistic and merited.

Sub03 -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 9:39:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subtlesubie If your family has any sense at all, they are planning an intervention for you. 55! Are you nuts? Dump the fossil - get with someone you could conceivably have something in common with before I call Dateline Wednesday. I am going to try and answer this as nicely as I can and if I fail at the attempt my apoligies to anyone who reads it, but I feel this was totally uncalled for. Though I do know I opened myself up to any and all opinions when I posted here. I am 21 years old. Old enough to live on my own, old enough to drink and old enough to make my own decisions on who I am with and who im not with. I am an adult and as an adult if I want to have a Master that is 55 I will have one, if i want a Master that is younger then me I will have one. I don't expect everyone to understand the reasons behind it, I don't even expect most people to understand it. But flaming me and my Master is totally uncalled for. My Master isnt some pedophile lurking around schoolyards looking for lil kids. He isnt the one luring kids online to meetings that end up in death or child porn. If you want to call Dateline wendsday at least call them with a story they are gong to care about. 3 years ago when I turned 18 I became old enough to date anyone of any age legally, so don't tell me who to date now.

Sub03 -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/29/2006 9:48:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MlilnikkiM WOW, okay I have to add my two cents worth to this. I am 22, my Master is 52, yes 30years difference in ages. To some that is a big deal, but to us age is just a number. Likewise we have been together for over two years now, and He has met my family. Yes in the beginning there were questions as to why I was with someone so much older; there were questions as to why he was with someone so much younger. All in all after they met him and got to know him, they love him and have made every attempt to make Him feel a part of the family. My mom even knows about the lifestyle aspects, and while she does ask question from time to time about things she reads, or hears, or doesn’t understand, the most important she has said is ‘As long as He makes you happy, and keeps you safe then that is all that matters.’ Those of us in the lifestyle shouldn’t be judgmental of other people’s relationships, desires, etc and then expect others to be accepting of theirs. I understand the maternal concern, but jumping down a child’s throat and flaming them for their happiness, is just going to cause rifts in the family. Now if it’s respectful discussion on the issues and such, that’s totally something different and in my opinion okay. As for what you address Him as in front of your family, if they don’t know then Lifestyle titles are out of line. Especially if you don’t want the questions to go there. Futhermore you both need to sit down and talk about what may or may not be discussed at this dinner. Make sure you are both on the same page, and understanding of how to handle various things that MAY come up. Likewise if it turns badly, you have the right and the ability to get up and walk out. Its your family, and only you know if you can work through the difficulties of the situation. I agree though that families don’t need to know 100% of what goes on in your household/relationship/lifestyle. Best of luck Mellow’s nikki pardon the 'reply to' i did a quick reply and didn't realize it would connect me to a reply to someone's post, yay for being new to the forums! Glad to know im not tottally alone and thank you for some helpful advice instead of jumping on me or my Master because of the age difference. But me and my Master have talked about meeting my family and the D/s part of the relationship is definetly not something that is going to be mentioned at all. I wouldn't even think of going there. My Master did say to just call Him by His first name while we are there and I guess that is what i will do but it still seems kinda weird. I think my Master is more comfortable with meeting them then I am. He says I should relax and just do it and as you said if it gets bad I can always just leave. But im hoping it dosen't get to that point. Those of us in the lifestyle shouldn’t be judgmental of other people’s relationships, desires, etc and then expect others to be accepting of theirs. I completely agree with you there, too bad it dosen't work that way.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Family wanting to meet Master (5/30/2006 12:10:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sub03 I am 21 years old. Old enough to live on my own, old enough to drink and old enough to make my own decisions on who I am with and who im not with. I am an adult and as an adult if I want to have a Master that is 55 I will have one, if i want a Master that is younger then me I will have one. I don't expect everyone to understand the reasons behind it, I don't even expect most people to understand it. But flaming me and my Master is totally uncalled for. My Master isnt some pedophile lurking around schoolyards looking for lil kids. He isnt the one luring kids online to meetings that end up in death or child porn. If you want to call Dateline wendsday at least call them with a story they are gong to care about. 3 years ago when I turned 18 I became old enough to date anyone of any age legally, so don't tell me who to date now. Well said! Other than changing the word "Master" to "boyfriend" or whatever you choose, I'd suggest you use more or less these same words when dealing with any guff your family gives you about the age difference.

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