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Proprietrix -> RE: ??? (5/28/2006 4:40:45 PM)
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This is precisely why I *like* exclusive groups, special interest group, and sub-forums.
Being "here" at collarme... if this were the only place I came to discuss the lifestyle, I would end up medicated and in a straight-jacket. This is one the most diverse places I've ever been to regarding BDSM. This is the only place I've ever been to where Dominants actually get offended if someone calls them "Ma'am" or "Sir". It's the only place I've ever been to where the health and safety forums are the least frequented. And the only place I've ever been to that is laden with so many submissives questioning their place. Collarme forums really are the epitomy of diversity. The only person really not made to feel welcome here is the vanilla cone wanker whose first post insults at least 3 different kinks, one group, speaks to hiss 99 years of experience, and claims he knows the "true and real" way.
Most lifestyle groups, both online and real time, that I have delved into, even briefly, have a more defined environment. Some will have a "glossary" of sorts where basic lifestyle terms are defined, and members tend to not chop away at those terms but use them with the same assuredness they would other words of language. Some have set protocols about forms of address. It may be very simple and light protocol or intensely high protocol. Some have entrance standards members must adhere to. Hell, even most munches I've been to, have something as basic as colored nametags to denote one's role.
Collarme is constructed, for better and worse, of a LOT of people, who have a LOT of differing opinions, very few guidelines, no required etiquette or protocol, and no screening process. On the plus side, I can come here and learn a lot of information from a lot of different people, about a lot of different things. I get breadth in knowledge. On the down side, I also have to wade through a lot of arguing, a lot of disagreement, a lot of semantics, and alot of stuff I find distasteful. I can not get any decent depth of knowledge.
Since my main focus is power exchange, a special M/s, high protocol, real time interest group is great for me, and I can settle down in one, with people who share my common beliefs, interests, and definitions. The members much better understand me. All 8 of them. But when lifestyle topics that veer from power exchange come up, I'm only going to be able to absorb the knowledge of those 8 people, and hope that 1 or 2 have some experience.
However, if I'm sitting pondering whether or not lesbian ponygirls who consider themselves furries ever engage in age play that includes spitting, bet your ass I can start a thread here at collarme and even on a slow day, get at least 10 replies. Of course some Bozo will waltz in and tear up the grammar of my question. And some high and mighty Domly Dom/me of the Gods is going to twist my words around to imply that I implied that lesbian ponygirls imply that age players are repugnant criminals. And at least one smart ass is going to offer me a carrot or something along those ludicrous lines. But overall, I'm going to get some kind of general idea of where some people stand on my question. And some of them probably have a better background to speak on the subject than everyone in my exclusive little 8 person high protocol group.
And on some days, when I'm fed up with my son not having filled the ice-cube trays, and my paycheck is 3 days later than the due date on my bills, and the cat won't get off the friggin keyboard, there's a good chance that I'll be the one to fill the role of the grammar clown, the omnipotent Goddess, or the smart ass offering a carrot. But overall, my presence might be a bit helpful to those who are questioning, and overall, I'm thankful to learn from those who are answering. My little exclusive home-based group gives me a place I belong. Collarme gives me a place I can learn.
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