how do I get a mistress

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

how do I get a mistress

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> how do I get a mistress

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 4:12:05 PM

slaveboysteve

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Hello everyone and hope all is well I new to this so just wont some advice when I want to message a mistress what is the best way to word it do I tell her about vanilla me, or the sub side of me can I have a joke or too any assistance would be appreciated espically from Dommes in North West Englandxx

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 4:31:38 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

You can start with a search on these boards for threads on this subject and read about what both Dominants and submissives have written on the subject. I would also recommend you do your research and learn about the lifestyle. Learn about the role of the submissive and that of the Dominant. These basics will give you guidance when you are writing your profile.

When reviewing a Dominants profile, really read it. If she gives directions about what she is looking for and how to contact her, make sure that what she is looking for matches what you are prepared to give in service and if there are directions for contacting her, follow them to the letter.

Get involved in your local BDSM community. Treat an online search as a supplement to your search.

Get and maintain some perspective. Understand early that the ratio of subs to Dominants heavily favors the Domme, especially when it comes to male subs to Female Dommes, so you need to distinguish yourself from every other sub, which leads me to my last thought;

Finally, brush up on your spelling and grammar. I personally have known Dominants dismiss any consideration of a submissive because the sub did not take the time to craft a well written response. Her logic being that if he does not take care to address her in a logical, well thought out and organized manner when first contacting her, then he will be just as thoughtless and sloppy if she gave him a chance to serve.

Case in point, someone asked the very same question earlier:
http://www.collarchat.com/Hello_How_to_find_a_mistress/m_392632/tm.htm

Bingo! Look here. Read this and take it to heart:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_30125/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

< Message edited by Mlicious -- 5/28/2006 4:54:32 PM >

(in reply to slaveboysteve)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 4:43:33 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

See MLICIOUS comments above..Can't improve on excellence and common sense

(in reply to Mlicious)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 4:48:47 PM

Mlicious

Posts: 75
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

Thanks openminded (sucking up a little doesn't hurt either!).

One other thing I would add is that finding a sub who has been successful with the search is beneficial. I think that a lot of subs immediately look to contacting a Domme for a source of information. I would suggest you ask the same questions in the forum for submissives and find out what has worked.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 5:03:40 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Also , understanding if it does not work out with one Mistress, it does not mean it was all your fault..
Often ,,,and I mean often.An active Mistress (one who is on collarme on a wekely bases) may receive hundreds of emails from all over the world. She may also be a little burned out from the wankers( I love that word <LOL) who waste her time with emails that give a laundry list of what THEY want from her and not what they are willing to do or become for her enjoyment. You may also never discover even from reading their profile clearly that they may be burned out from so called slaves/subs who never read the profiles or even show up when they are lucky enought to get an invitation. I can tell you that I have had many friend on here that have just left out of dispair and dishonesty. The reality is if you do not get a postive response or no respose at all , do not blame yourself at first. Review what has been suggested above. Show intelligence and a desire to please another. Leave any selfishness at home. And try to be very honest about who you are.

Hope this helps..And yes sucking up is a good start ..but only works when your dealing with intelligence and strength of anothers convictions that you admire

(in reply to Mlicious)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 5:31:52 PM

keme

Posts: 163
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

Outstanding Mistress Mlicious. Well said.

_____________________________

The path I choose is not for everyone... it is mine alone... and my responsibility to reach the end of it making as much positive influence as I am capable of and being as true to myself as I can be.
~keme

(in reply to Mlicious)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 5:56:46 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mlicious

When reviewing a Dominants profile, really read it. If she gives directions about what she is looking for and how to contact her, make sure that what she is looking for matches what you are prepared to give in service and if there are directions for contacting her, follow them to the letter.

Today I received what would be a perfect illustration of how to show a Domme, with humor, that you paid attention to every word in the profile, and think you meet the requirements. Personally, I look for subs to entertain me (among other things) so I enjoyed it a lot. Of course that's not a guarantee of anything, but it is a first step.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to Mlicious)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/28/2006 7:31:17 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

I'm also gonna to add this bit of advice to the all ready excellent advice.

Don't go in seeking a mistress but instead a good top or a good dominant you can connect with as a person first. I think this is especially when you are starting out and you are learning. Don't jump into things that are so serious take the time to get to know yourself and others before you call some "mistress"...

Of course I'm very biased cause I think the term is a special title so ignore if you do not.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to slaveboysteve)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/29/2006 6:00:29 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

Just to add to what was said.....

www.informedconsent.co.uk will have a list of events on near you.

good luck,

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to slaveboysteve)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: how do I get a mistress - 5/29/2006 7:28:28 AM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboysteve

Hello everyone and hope all is well I new to this so just wont some advice when I want to message a mistress what is the best way to word it do I tell her about vanilla me, or the sub side of me can I have a joke or too any assistance would be appreciated espically from Dommes in North West Englandxx

DEAR SLAVO
JUST do it

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to slaveboysteve)

Profile

Post #: 10

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> how do I get a mistress

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Spam Policy

0.063