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SweetSarijane -> Take A Dip In The Reality Pool (5/28/2006 5:28:19 PM)
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Take A Dip In The Reality Pool
Author: Screamer © 1999
For those of us who came of age in BDSM in the computer age, there
seems to be some discrepancy between the realities and the fantasies
of this lifestyle.
I'm your Auntie Screamer, and I'm here to help clear those up for
you. Pay attention. I'm only going to say this once.
1. "You do have rights. You have the right to walk away. If you
believe otherwise, it's time for a dip in the reality pool."
2. "No one can keep up a 24/7 lifestyle for long without a break for
comedy relief, and a swift dose of kids, family, work and car
problems."
3. "No man has an erection continuously. Unless they're priaptic, in
which case, a doctor's visit is in order."
4. "There is such a thing as PMS, and no amount of Domming is going
to make it go away."
5. "A chainsaw is not a sex toy."
6. "Your cyber safeword is the off button on the front of your
computer. Use it."
7. "There *is* going to be a time when you don't feel like having
sex. It *does* happen. Prepare yourself mentally for it."
8. "24/7 is not a myth. 24/7 in chains, naked and kneeling is."
9. "There will come a time when you see your Dominant scratching
himself, belching and in need of a shower. Prepare yourself for that
as well."
10. "No one understands your collar but you. Showing it off at
Countdown Safeway, Walmart (or what ever your choice of supermarket
is) isn't exactly a statement."
11. "The distance is not insurmountable. It is inconvenient and
irritating, and it will grate on your nerves unless you fill your
time with other things."
12. "Eventually, you're going to have to take those cuffs off to
take the kids to the doctor. Get used to it."
13. "Speaking of doctors, tell yours what you're into, or be
prepared to deal with social services on a regular basis."
14. "You really don't need another flogger. What you need is a new
microwave and a pair of hundred dollar tennis shoes for your
teenager. Know when to say when to the toy bag."
15. "People get sick. People die. Use a condom, please, unless
you've been tested twice in the last year, and so has your partner."
16. "Don't walk away from your friends. You might well need them
later, when your dream Dominant turns into a frog."
17. "If you want something, ask. Ask respectfully, ask in role, ask
in good faith. But ask. If you don't, chances are, you ain't gonna
get it."
18. "Just because you call yourself a slave doesn't mean that others
will agree with your definition. Be prepared to defend your views,
but don't bark at others for their opinions. They have a right to
them, same as you do."
19. "Don't believe everything you read, especially if it comes from
John Norman."
20. "Just because the screen name says Master doesn't mean he is
one."
21. "Find a way to orgasm without BDSM. You may need that someday."
22. "Safecalls work. Use them."
23. "There are things you won't do. Trust me. Maybe you just haven't
been asked to do them yet."
24. "This ain't always all about sex. Don't expect to get a nut
every time you play. Then you won't be disappointed when it happens
to you. Orgasms are nice, but not mandatory."
25. "People are not always nice. You will not play at every party
you attend. You will get hurt non-consensually sometimes."
26. "Your Dominant is not a mind reader."
27. "Forever is not as long as you might think. Sometimes, it's just
until she changes her mind again."
28. "The Mistress is not always dressed in thigh highs and hose. The
Dominant does not always have his flogger nearby. Sometimes, it's
time for sweat pants and hot cocoa."
29. "An argument is not the end of the world. Not resolving it,
however, might be."
30. "Sometimes, a fuck is just a fuck. A beating is just a beating.
And a kiss is just a kiss. Enjoy it, remember it, and move along."
I hope you've enjoyed your dip in the reality pool. Wipe your feet
before going back in the house, and don't drip on my new parquet
floors.
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