RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (Full Version)

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keme -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/29/2006 10:58:11 PM)

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

*coughs* ok now there is no need to lie about it... *chuckles* That is just mean... ~winks~




slaveofdarkhold -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 4:00:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
1.Yes, you are obligated to visit my mother. If you don't we will find someone sexier, stronger and with a bigger dick who will. This person will be rewarded with the oral sex you never earned.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
2.Your cream is so delicious I have been adding it to your coffee all week. I hope you enjoyed it. And please leave the aquarium alone, I've had to restock twice already since you moved in. No it isn't kinky. It's sick.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
3. Queef: (n) air forced out of the vagina when something else is forced in. I agree, you should stop making that happen.

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5.I will use your pubic hair as I see fit. If you weren't always nagging me to try and deepthroat, I wouldn't need to grab hold of it for leverage.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
5. I will use your ears as I see fit, especially when I have PMS and need to bitch. Don't worry about it, and be thankful I'm not pulling you hair.

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
6. Correct. Go and fix me a margarita, fool

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
7.Your stick is indeed very short. Yes some things taste worse than your cum.  Your cooking for example. And on that note, I think  a blindfolded taste test is in order.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
8.Unless I'm in the mood for that. Grab my ears again and let's see.

9. Play with the balls.
9.I have tried this before. They are better than you at chess, however they get very nervous when I suggest we wrestle.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
10.As I do not wish to disappoint you, I will refrain from doing this until I am the best. In the mean time I will be practicing on your brother.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
11.Honey, every time we touch amounts to me caressing an ass.

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
12.Sufficient hay is being made. While you are on the couch making a beer gut and a bad smell, I am on the other side of town, making some hay in a place with better weather.

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
13.If you do the washing up once in a while, you wont have to worry about if I'm going to swallow, now will you?




talibahh -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 4:32:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofdarkhold

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
1.Yes, you are obligated to visit my mother. If you don't we will find someone sexier, stronger and with a bigger dick who will. This person will be rewarded with the oral sex you never earned.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
2.Your cream is so delicious I have been adding it to your coffee all week. I hope you enjoyed it. And please leave the aquarium alone, I've had to restock twice already since you moved in. No it isn't kinky. It's sick.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
3. Queef: (n) air forced out of the vagina when something else is forced in. I agree, you should stop making that happen.

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5.I will use your pubic hair as I see fit. If you weren't always nagging me to try and deepthroat, I wouldn't need to grab hold of it for leverage.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
5. I will use your ears as I see fit, especially when I have PMS and need to bitch. Don't worry about it, and be thankful I'm not pulling you hair.

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
6. Correct. Go and fix me a margarita, fool

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
7.Your stick is indeed very short. Yes some things taste worse than your cum.  Your cooking for example. And on that note, I think  a blindfolded taste test is in order.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
8.Unless I'm in the mood for that. Grab my ears again and let's see.

9. Play with the balls.
9.I have tried this before. They are better than you at chess, however they get very nervous when I suggest we wrestle.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
10.As I do not wish to disappoint you, I will refrain from doing this until I am the best. In the mean time I will be practicing on your brother.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
11.Honey, every time we touch amounts to me caressing an ass.

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
12.Sufficient hay is being made. While you are on the couch making a beer gut and a bad smell, I am on the other side of town, making some hay in a place with better weather.

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
13.If you do the washing up once in a while, you wont have to worry about if I'm going to swallow, now will you?




way to go slaveof [;)] ...  
 
i especially liked #2, #4, #5, #7, #9, #10, #11 and #12
[:D] [:D] [:D] [:D]  roflmao
 
Now THATs funny[;)] [:D]
 
tali... pmsl [:D]




NakedOnMyChain -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 11:22:17 AM)

I just don't think it's very funny.  Then again, it's a pretty old joke, and I've seen it about six times.  I still don't think I laughed the first time, but that's beside the point. 

Is it tasteless?  Eh, maybe a little.  It would only offend me if someone actually held those beliefs as true.  After all, my husband and I met while exchanging Hellen Keller and dead baby jokes.  No, I'm not kidding.




andal -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 11:30:35 AM)

Speaking of Helen Keller jokes, here's my all-time favorite HK joke.

Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's dead!






pinkee -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 11:35:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: keme

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

*coughs* ok now there is no need to lie about it... *chuckles* That is just mean... ~winks~


The female version of this is the man who makes love with a woman in her 50's and then asks "Am I the best you ever had?"
 
i mean c'mon, what are the odds he is?  He, he.
 
pinkee




NakedOnMyChain -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 11:46:22 AM)

LOL.  I heard the punchline as, "because she's a woman."

Why'd Hellen Keller's dog run away? 
You would too if your name was Aaauuughhheeeeaa (retarded noise).

Did you know Hellen Keller had a beautiful dollhouse in her back yard?
Neither did she.

How'd Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
They left the plunger in the toilet. / They rearranged the furniture.

I bet hell's a nice, toasty place.  [:D]

By the way, slaveofdarkhold, that was awesome!





Moloch -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 12:01:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveofdarkhold

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.
1.Yes, you are obligated to visit my mother. If you don't we will find someone sexier, stronger and with a bigger dick who will. This person will be rewarded with the oral sex you never earned.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.
2.Your cream is so delicious I have been adding it to your coffee all week. I hope you enjoyed it. And please leave the aquarium alone, I've had to restock twice already since you moved in. No it isn't kinky. It's sick.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?
3. Queef: (n) air forced out of the vagina when something else is forced in. I agree, you should stop making that happen.

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
5.I will use your pubic hair as I see fit. If you weren't always nagging me to try and deepthroat, I wouldn't need to grab hold of it for leverage.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!
5. I will use your ears as I see fit, especially when I have PMS and need to bitch. Don't worry about it, and be thankful I'm not pulling you hair.

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.
6. Correct. Go and fix me a margarita, fool

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
7.Your stick is indeed very short. Yes some things taste worse than your cum.  Your cooking for example. And on that note, I think  a blindfolded taste test is in order.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.
8.Unless I'm in the mood for that. Grab my ears again and let's see.

9. Play with the balls.
9.I have tried this before. They are better than you at chess, however they get very nervous when I suggest we wrestle.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
10.As I do not wish to disappoint you, I will refrain from doing this until I am the best. In the mean time I will be practicing on your brother.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!
11.Honey, every time we touch amounts to me caressing an ass.

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
12.Sufficient hay is being made. While you are on the couch making a beer gut and a bad smell, I am on the other side of town, making some hay in a place with better weather.

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
13.If you do the washing up once in a while, you wont have to worry about if I'm going to swallow, now will you?



Now  thats some funny shite!




sublace -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 12:06:13 PM)

Well I'm a bi sissy and I love sucking a big hard cock!  I love having it done on me also.  I have do problem sucking a nice cock until it explodes in my mouth and swallowing it down.  I'll take the load anywhere they want to give it to me.  There are only 2 things I like better than sucking cock, eating pussy and getting stuffed by a big hard cock!!

sublace




pinkee -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 12:43:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublace

Well I'm a bi sissy and I love sucking a big hard cock!  I love having it done on me also.  I have do problem sucking a nice cock until it explodes in my mouth and swallowing it down.  I'll take the load anywhere they want to give it to me.  There are only 2 things I like better than sucking cock, eating pussy and getting stuffed by a big hard cock!!

sublace


OOOO, are W/we gonna hyjack the thread and discuss c**k worship?  (Worships, he, he.)
 
pinkee




dominmd -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 4:27:11 PM)

Awwwwwwwww did shumbudy have deir feelwings hurt? Suck it up, it is a goddamned BDSM site for crying out loud. Don't like it? Don't read it. Don't like them, don't suck on them. Don't like them? Don't eat them.


There once was a man from Nantucket. Whos dick was so long he could suck it..................






LaTigresse -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/30/2006 4:40:31 PM)

now THAT made me laugh!!





slaveofdarkhold -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/31/2006 5:49:49 AM)

*takes a bow* thanks everybody, I'll be here all week




LaMalinche -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (5/31/2006 8:39:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSophia

This is the most distasteful post I HAVE EVER READ. Disrespectful is mild to what this post is.. But if it is so yummy open your mouth and have some your self.. After all isn't men who should be on their knees? And they want to know why they are called PIGS?


This was a serious post?  I thought that it was a joke, since it was in the humor section.




TheProtector -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/1/2006 2:17:08 AM)

Not the best joke in the world, seen things like that many many times
I for one truly love eating pussy, if my girl is not into loving mine like I do her's, then she is not right for me.
On a side note Pinky, yet to be wih a girl, that says she is the best at something (what ever that is)and then turns out she is/was.




NCSilverWolves -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/1/2006 8:04:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ADomDoc

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
and just how far has this gotten you, DomDoc??  
lmaooooooo

Who ever said this was my philosophy? It's just a friggin' joke (written by a pig) for cryin' out loud!  I knew some would bitch about it ... and others would laugh.  But anyone who opens a fellatio joke on a BdSm board & is offended because it isn't PC is just plain irrational. :-)




LOL  I personal thought it was funny. I came into the humor section for laughs... that's what I got.  if this was a debate.. it's in wrong spot...

DomDoc.. thanks hun.. I liked it...




NCSilverWolves -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/1/2006 8:09:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

What a sad commentary. I would like to think everyone has experienced a delightful, willing, and trancendental blowjob.



LOL... the question now is... do I dare go there.. or do I let this pass by untouched my dear friend?... lol...




Petruchio -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/1/2006 11:48:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

What a sad commentary. I would like to think everyone has experienced a delightful, willing, and trancendental blowjob.



LOL... the question now is... do I dare go there.. or do I let this pass by untouched my dear friend?... lol...


YOU can touch!




MarksFantasyGirl -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/1/2006 7:59:20 PM)

there is when I bite the damn thing if you don't let go my ears!!!!!!!!

but i like to do that.... and my man won't let me play with his balls... lol




tbear4759 -> RE: A Man's Thoughts on Fellatio (6/3/2006 11:43:46 AM)

I'm not sure which was funnier to read-the original post, the replies, or the reply by slaveof.




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