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Casteele -> RE: Profile Photos--Ideas and Discussion (12/13/2011 11:03:39 PM)
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Whee, gotta love working a double shift.. And from some of the responses, I apologize for my failure to communicate my intentions and desires.. and will attempt to clarify before this gets derailed further.
Gonna address a few things first that I think of off topic, but I should address anyhow. (In no particular order, and possibly jumping around at random as I am dead tired.) The background to my post was just that, the background, and not meant to be part of the topic beyond understanding why I felt it worth posting about. Regarding my photo, it's my roommate that edited herself out of the photo (I should probably mention that in my profile, but I never planned on keeping that photo in my profile once I get a better one taken of just me); She's okay with her face showing on 'nilla websites, but she does not want her face to appear on fetish/kink websites. But I understand the point made, and I have been planning on getting a better photo up when I can. And after the response here, if I cannot do so soon, I decided I'll get off my lazy arse, install PS, and crop this one properly.
Regarding trawling and unsolicited advice.. Since it was just part of the background, I did not feel I needed to give too much detail or avoid ambiguity. I do not trawl looking for people to comment on (for brevity, I'll say "comment" instead of writing out "comment, make suggestions, or give advice".. gah, this is looking more and more like legal writing which has to spell everything out to avoid ambiguity); I do not comment on anyone just because I feel like commenting. Although I have done so on occasion, most of my comments are indeed solicited or invited in some way, either directly or indirectly. Some people do write "Write me and tell me what you think of my profile!" or some such. Others make comments or rant and rave about something, which practically begs to get commented on. And of course, some I comment on just because it makes for an ice-breaker. And I've only commented on two profiles here on CM.. Although some sites I've commented on dozens, I've also been active on those sites for many years.
Likewise, I did not go in to detail about what I write to them, or how they respond. Re-reading what I did write, I can see how it would be presumed that a great many of the responses were negative, which is not true and not what I meant to suggest. While I've had some respond with the "How dare you!" type response (even from those who have directly solicited comments :-P), many have been much more positive, even opening ongoing dialog on the topic or other topics. Part of this is likely because I do try to be constructive with my comments. For example, I suggested to one person who wrote a lot about how they love beaches and oceans that they get a photo up of them enjoying themselves at a beach/ocean, rather than the one that they had of them in the corner of what looked like a dark bar/club without even using the flash.
In hindsight, I probably should have not given the background at all, but I also did not want this to turn in to thread about how I could improve my own profile personally. Instead, I would like some general opinions and suggestions that anyone reading the forum could use (even myself--some of the comments have made me think..), especially some of those who are new to the scene and have not had months or years to tweak their profiles to a point they feel truly represents them, as some of you have.
One last comment in response to DesFIP "misconception" comment. I do not believe I have any misconception on the topic. I know well that many women dress or act in a manner that makes them feel attractive, sexy, or simply expresses themselves, and not necessarily for the benefit of the guys or attract guys. I also know that some women do just that, just as some will get out on the dance floor and grind with another woman to the cheers of the guys, and only because it makes the guys cheer. My comments on cleavage are aimed mainly at the ones in the latter group; They post such photos and than rant and rave about how that is all the guys care about, that guys should realize they are more than just a "nice rack." My thoughts are, guys will be guys, and if you expect that to change any time soon.. You're being just as unrealistic as the guy that thinks all women will suddenly come to realize they'd be happy being sex slaves to all men. To draw a parallel, it's kind of like a guy who goes to the bad side of town wearing a lot of "bling," flashing hundred dollar bills around like they grow on trees, and completely surprised when he gets robbed while walking down a dark alley. If you don't want a certain kind of attention, don't act in a manner which will clearly draw such attention, no matter how pure and virtuous your real intentions may be, or how unfair you may think it is.
G'nite n peace, all.
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