new with crazy fear

new with crazy fear (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

lifetimecomit -> new with crazy fear (12/15/2011 4:54:55 PM)
I am meeting my maybe soon to be dom this weekend .. I am totally new to this lifestyle. And between fear and excitement i am overwelmed. I need a. Advice from another sub/slave or a friend to tslk about my role as a sub.. Thanks

EmilyRocks -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/15/2011 5:27:34 PM)
Wouldn't the ask a submissive forum be a better place to look for a sub friend?

DarkSteven -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/15/2011 5:39:42 PM)
Welcome to the lifestyle! I'd advise a few things: First, the meeting place. The absolute best is at a group get together (play party or munch). With you being so new, I doubt you're doing this. The next best place is a Starbucks or other public place. The worst are your house (if he's crazy, he knows where you live), or his place (too private). If you're meeting at either of your places, change to a Starbucks. Second, ask for references. He may or may not provide them. But his response is key. If he tries to blow you off ("Doms don't provide references", or "I need to protect my ex-subs"), walk. Third, I'd strongly advise against playing on a first meet. It happens, and I've done it, but when the hormones speak, the brain doesn't. Fourth, if at all possible, find some local kinkfolks and meet them. Ask if they've heard of this guy. And if for any reason you enter the community without him, see if you can find a sub sister or mono couple (someone who won't want to jump your bones) and have them introduce you locally. Welcome to collarme!

poise -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/15/2011 5:40:02 PM)
It isn't unusual to have fear and excitement at the prospect of meeting someone for the first time. This also happens in vanilla relationships. My concern is you've only been online here for less than a week and are already under consideration. That designation isn't as awe inspiring as it may sound. The best advice I can offer is to meet in a public place. And to remember, he is also under your consideration. The both of you are merely man and woman, not Dom and Sub, until you feel comfortable giving him authority over you.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/15/2011 7:55:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lifetimecomit I am meeting my maybe soon to be dom this weekend .. I am totally new to this lifestyle. And between fear and excitement i am overwelmed. I need a. Advice from another sub/slave or a friend to tslk about my role as a sub.. Thanks Have fun. Be careful. Have a speed dial friend (already/previously identified with the location you'll be at)...with a note to her or him that if you don't answer....call 911 or a guy that weighs 360 lbs that comes with a (very sharp) knife. Don't fart.

darchChylde -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/23/2011 8:42:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie Don't fart. Come on, you know how hard it is not to fart when you're face down, ass up.

kalikshama -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/25/2011 2:56:01 PM)
I think perhaps you should read up on sub frenzy... I used to feel like you...then learned to approach new encounters with non-attachment. I kissed a lot of frogs but finally ended up with a prince.

mons -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/26/2011 4:08:20 AM)
DarkSteven What a wonderful answer to her questions and you address her fears also! As a Domme i do the same meeting places must be out in the open public place and starbucks is great Ok you have an A+ from the former school speciast , l ol i work with speech lol not spelling!!! But steven I disagree on refernces, it is not know that anyone would want their private life given to a stranger!! It is not safe and whom knows if this will work out , but of course you mean after knowing someone for a time then you may ask for that information! I certainly do not give a submissive rights to say anything about our relationship at all! But you still have an A+ ! best wishes mons

DarkSteven -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/26/2011 4:31:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mons .But steven I disagree on refernces, it is not know that anyone would want their private life given to a stranger!! It is not safe and whom knows if this will work out , but of course you mean after knowing someone for a time then you may ask for that information! I certainly do not give a submissive rights to say anything about our relationship at all! mons mons, I would not do that without asking if it's okay to be used as a reference. The idea is for a sub to request that the Dom do something that will make her feel safer and more comfortable - how will he react? His reaction will say a lot about him. If he responds by telling her that as the Dom, he's in charge and she has no right to ask, that signals a pattern. If he happens to have five laminated copies of references in his pocket, he's a player. In my case, even if my ex-subs did not want to disclose anything, I know several prominent locals who have seen how I treat my submissives and would be happy to serve as a reference even though they were never in a direct relationship with me.

JstAnotherSub -> RE: new with crazy fear (12/26/2011 6:06:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama I think perhaps you should read up on sub frenzy... I used to feel like you...then learned to approach new encounters with non-attachment. I kissed a lot of frogs but finally ended up with a prince. This.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625