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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/24/2011 9:49:29 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

m, common sense is anything but common.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The op said that safety isn't necessary as long as you use common sense.

That's the problem, common sense is anything but common....

For me, half the fun of a public dungeon is watching socially awkward retards injure each other.  Like time the guy with the alcohol in spray bottle set him self on fire and burnt his eyebrows off.  Or, the swingers that built a public dungeon with a weak davit.  A very chubby subby was suspended, unhinging and it all came crashing down.  That's entertainment and the new age BDSM crowd at their best if ya' ask me.

Common sense ruins all the fun. 


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/25/2011 6:30:00 AM   
sheisreeds


Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
For me, half the fun of a public dungeon is watching socially awkward retards injure each other.  Like time the guy with the alcohol in spray bottle set him self on fire and burnt his eyebrows off.  Or, the swingers that built a public dungeon with a weak davit.  A very chubby subby was suspended, unhinging and it all came crashing down.  That's entertainment and the new age BDSM crowd at their best if ya' ask me.

Common sense ruins all the fun. 



Dungeon snark is awesome, unfortunately haven't seen anything that awesome in recent memory. Mainly we get the Stand and Model, Robo floggers, and rope and Hitachi.

Though that often means the dungeons are quiet enough for us to have a good bat fight and spice things up a bit.

Our community has really gotten bloated recently, I blame that other kinky website. So lots of green and barely kinky folk. Went to one party where most of the time people were watching TV. (which meant we got the dungeon almost all to ourselves!)

I agree with a lot of the sentiments in this thread. The only course I think should be required is just a brief 15 minute bit on dungeon safety, for anyone going to a public dungeon. It makes it much easier to throw the scene interrupting yahoos out when you know they should know better.

Also, totally we play different ways depending on where we are. I think anyone with any sort of smarts is about the same. Public dungeons, private kink friendly house parties, and our own homes all have different rules.

_____________________________

~ s.

Oh my darling, give me reason
give me something to believe in


You need a spankin' baby!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/26/2011 8:39:35 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Like time the guy with the alcohol in spray bottle set him self on fire and burnt his eyebrows off. 


We had a guy here do that too and I was right on the front row watching the smoking hair
quote:



Or, the swingers that built a public dungeon with a weak davit.  A very chubby subby was suspended, unhinging and it all came crashing down. 



I've seen this twice recently. One was with a badly put together St Andrews and the other was a man suspended upside down in a body bag from a winch when the whole thing gave way

Public dungeon equipment should be serviceable and suitable for the purpose. Occasionally its either not properly installed or is in some other way fundamentaly flawed. Anything you buy in Europe that has been sold commercially, even if its a one off, has to have a CE mark which implies the equipment complies with all the regular standards. I have never seen a piece of dungeon furniture with a CE mark on it. Given that there is no required testing of equipment or certification, it becomes the individuals responsibility to satisfy themselves before their sub is installed on it.
 



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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/28/2011 3:42:29 AM   
duchkey


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/9/2009
Status: offline 		This conversation may have run it's course and be closed, and my humble and short reply may fall quietly. I have not met many lifelong bottoms that do not have injuries that continue with them until death, getting worse over time. their injuries have been caused, by neglect, abuse, error in judgement by themselves and or their top. However, they exist, and it's important to have those griping old guard souls in our community that remind those of us who do the hurting to reign ourselves.
Paul

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/28/2011 8:55:52 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: duchkey

This conversation may have run it's course and be closed, and my humble and short reply may fall quietly. I have not met many lifelong bottoms that do not have injuries that continue with them until death, getting worse over time. their injuries have been caused, by neglect, abuse, error in judgement by themselves and or their top. However, they exist, and it's important to have those griping old guard souls in our community that remind those of us who do the hurting to reign ourselves.
Paul


Its strange because I have been on the scene for many years and have met many, many people but not once have I met a life long bottom. I ran one of the largest BDSM clubs in the UK which got me invited to just about every private party going. I pro Mistressed in the City of London where I met a huge array of the alternative BDSM scene. In all that time I have never met a bottom that came to any long term physical damage that caused ill health in her future years.
I have known 2 Dommes who were seriously hurt. One got her face smashed through a glass oven door and the other was raped and robbed by a gang of men. Neither of those injuries was a misjudgement of the whip but a misjudgement of the person.
Online I have heard of some but I don't take a lot of notice of online histrionics unless its someone like the woman on FL who put up pictures of some serious burns after doing fire play with her partner or the guy who put a picture up of a deep slash wound from a psychopath doing knife play on him.
I remember many years ago when I first entered the scene, a man told me of the deep dark underground scene where things went on that would open any BDSMers eyes and make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. He told me about the horror stories and gave me all these warnings. Years later I realized that everything he told me was a bullshit ploy he told newbies to make them feel nervous.

Teachers and parents never took lessons in how to give their kids the belt or the cane or paddle. Kids were smacked and slapped by people much bigger than them but they aren't walking round with ongoing injuries as adults.
I would be far more concerned about a submissive/bottom meeting some frigging psychopath and letting him play with her in private, than some perfectly sane and caring dominant causing an accidental wrap with a flogger.

(in reply to duchkey)
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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/28/2011 10:16:29 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I love giving wraps and I give them very deliberately.

Yeah, I get a kick out of that too, I'm mean that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Satyr, I agree that certain things definitely need some guidance. Blood play, ropes, electric, fire and medical are amongst those that I would definitely recommend workshops or mentors.

I'm of the opinion that its not too hard to learn everything you need to know about electrical play from the internet. The thing I'd recommend workshops for is to give various devices a try to see if you really want to shell out hundreds of dollars on them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Why do so many of the old timers who had some sort of relationship with the old guard, need to teach us the proper way to spank someone? Why do they constantly insist that anyone that plays without their approval or a good mentor will do serious harm to someone?

Why would horny old guys work hard to try and convince young people to let them watch....is that really a question that needs an answer? It seems pretty self evident to me.


(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/31/2011 12:17:20 AM   
slaverachel2Him


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I love giving wraps and I give them very deliberately.

Yeah, I get a kick out of that too, I'm mean that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Satyr, I agree that certain things definitely need some guidance. Blood play, ropes, electric, fire and medical are amongst those that I would definitely recommend workshops or mentors.

I'm of the opinion that its not too hard to learn everything you need to know about electrical play from the internet. The thing I'd recommend workshops for is to give various devices a try to see if you really want to shell out hundreds of dollars on them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
Why do so many of the old timers who had some sort of relationship with the old guard, need to teach us the proper way to spank someone? Why do they constantly insist that anyone that plays without their approval or a good mentor will do serious harm to someone?

Why would horny old guys work hard to try and convince young people to let them watch....is that really a question that needs an answer? It seems pretty self evident to me.




Actually except the liver wrap which somehow thunked my liver quite hard-with some residual aching, not sure how that happened- i love getting wrap arounds because NORMALLY it is the tips that sting and there isn't the thunk in the wrap. i love the single tail the best of all- He won't allow blood to be drawn as He wants no scars on my back (loves it in the moonlight) so my Mentor has it down to a science JUST below the blood draw, it even looks like it SHOULD bleed but it doesn't quite. Her skill is amazing and the pain is exquisite. We do have to remember it is the repetition that is the culprit sometimes, not a single event. My liver got hit hard- and fortunately i was not ill so it wasn't inflamed, but repeated hits would have been damaging. As it was an accident of course repeats were not a risk.

i don't see how a single tail can damage a kidney at all though, even with repeats- it is way too light. Best to learn EVERYTHING from an expert, safeties and all- THEN go out educated and perhaps change some things to suit.

_____________________________

Master Richard's slave rachel

(in reply to GotSteel)
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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/31/2011 8:25:37 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

Another thread about the more edgy side of BDSM inspired me to start a thread on the lighter side of things.

Why do so many of the old timers who had some sort of relationship with the old guard, need to teach us the proper way to spank someone?   That is TRULY a great question.  Thankfully for me (and, everyone else reading this)...I know everything.  Go ahead...ask me a question....any question at all.  Why do they constantly insist that anyone that plays without their approval or a good mentor will do serious harm to someone? (Because they know everything (except those very specific things that uniquely.....I know).  Do they actually believe that subs are so fragile? Do they really believe that many people die or end up severely injured from a spanking or flogging?
Whilst (she said "whilst".....I hate "whilst"...it's a lot like while, but without the "e"...with a walk on s and t)   rope bondage and some more edgy play requires you knowing and understanding the anatomy, for flogging and spanking you pretty much don't need to know any anatomy.

I know a ton about the anatomy (I know a ton about baseball caps, where to find the classifieds and how many trips I can make to the ocean without filling up, but I'll be damned if I can boil an egg), and you aren't going to damage a kidney or break part of the spine with your leather flogger (Bastages!!!!!).  Well, that's not even remotely true if you use __________________________________________?

At 16 I had a Very open minded kinky boyfriend. We made up our own floggers, used belts on one another. Nobody showed us how to do it. Neither of us came to any permanent harm. It was great fun and we were never hindered by someone watching from the side lines and pointing out that we weren't doing it right!
20 years later I found myself suddenly being told that I should attend flogging and caning workshops 'WHAT'??? That all those earth mounds on the way to the BDSM club are the graves of those who didn't survive the flogging!  No, can't say I did...but last week I got 2 - 19 ounce Gatarodes at a 7-11 at 35% off.


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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/31/2011 10:56:37 PM   
Casteele


Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline 		FR

I'm curious about what this thread is really about. Is it about the fact that some things really don't need serious training (at least for some people whom possess uncommon sense not to do anything clearly stupid), or is it about the people (old-guard was mentioned) whom seem to have and express their own opinions about the proper way to do everything? Reading the posts has left me thinking it's really the latter.. Which I find ironic as that's exactly what so many people are doing by posting/sharing their opinions, views, and experiences here.

Even if it were intended to be the former, how could it remain so? Whom makes the decision about what needs formal training and what does not? What are their qualifications and other credentials to make them more of an expert then someone else? That leads us right back to the latter; Complaining about people who feel the need to "volunteer" their "superior expertise" to those "less informed/skilled.." circular discussion.

I think the few posts that directly commented on such behavior were most interesting, and made me think. Why do we (using the term "we" generically here) do it? Why do we feel the need to give our "$0.02" to anyone whom is willing to listen? Why do we judge others so harshly, and our own selves so forgivingly? (I'm being serious here, not sarcastic--I really am pondering these questions and have no solid answers yet..) I do not think we do it intentionally or are even aware that we are doing just that. I also try to just shrug it off as just being part of human nature: The need to assert ourselves; have something in our lives or about us that sets us apart or stand out; something to know when life is done and we move on, it wasn't all just a waste of time; to have meaning.

From my personal standpoint and set of experiences.. Many of my personality tests place me as a teacher type, or a father-figure/nurturing type. And I can see it; I truly enjoy teaching, sharing, giving, guiding. But I've also become more aware of the dark side of this.. If I am not careful with my tone, I can easily come off as being condescending or a "know-it-all" elitist. It isn't intentional, and for years, I was not even aware that is how I sometimes came off. Even the times others have pointed it out to me, I just laughed it off because from _my_ perspective, I was simply teaching and sharing without any ill intentions so how could it be misconstrued or viewed in a negative manner?

So just some food for though.. to modify the well-known saying.. "Judge not too harshly, lest ye be judged just as harshly."


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RE: Seriously... we need to learn how to do this? - 12/31/2011 11:25:27 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Let them judge. That kind of thing has never bothered me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Casteele


So just some food for though.. to modify the well-known saying.. "Judge not too harshly, lest ye be judged just as harshly."





_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Casteele)
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