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Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/29/2006 1:50:20 PM

ADomDoc

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From: San Antonio
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ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming 'He's back, He's back' and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgian Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait til I stopped," Williams said.

She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs.Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen."

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/29/2006 2:43:29 PM

Termyn8or

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Why did they fill the dolls with helium ? And how would Hit......

Never mind.

T

(in reply to ADomDoc)

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/29/2006 2:46:25 PM

gooddogbenji

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From: Toronto
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Termyn8or,

Have you nothing better to do?

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/29/2006 6:41:54 PM

windchymes

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Must be true....no one could make this stuff up! lol

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/29/2006 7:02:58 PM

ElectraGlide

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Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
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Wow it is possible I grew up with people that saw Jesus tripping on acid and became religious fanatics right after. I knew a guy that took a hard punch that knocked him cold he saw Jesus and has been a religious fanatic ever since.

(in reply to windchymes)

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/30/2006 12:04:38 PM

NakedOnMyChain

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Joined: 11/29/2004
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I saw God on acid once. Helluva thing really.

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"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 5/30/2006 4:19:49 PM

dominmd

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Joined: 6/27/2005
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The last time I saw Jesus was at the Tacobell, then on the corner selling roses, the mowing a lawn................oh wait that would be Haysus.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)

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RE: Jesus Causes 20-car pile up - 6/16/2006 10:26:39 AM

Darkmike