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quinnmalcolm -> Know what I want, forgot how to get it (12/20/2011 11:46:23 AM)
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Hi, I'm 32, I live in Alaska. I was introduced into this lifestyle at an early age. It's been a strange cycle, sex was always easy to get, but love never was. Had 2 girlfriends in my entire life, and one was only interested in my body, the other my status. I own a business fyi.
I became interested as I found I could easily fulfill fantasies and women would begin sharing secrets to me, and I in turn would fulfill them. The first one was a lesbian of one of my online lovers. She had been saying she loved me, but then after a while told me she had fantasies about me. From there I hopped around and found that it was just the thing that I really wanted, really desired was a submissive. It heightened when I met a brash girl who revealed she enjoyed gun, torture and daddy daughter play.
Sometime back I feel in love and did away with it all. She never knew anything, and instead used my need for love against me and tried to take my status and money away for her own. I kicked her out and have been thinking a lot about what I want.
Outwardly, I'm shy, sweet and kind. It's who I am. But i know what turns me on is having an obedient girl, or girls. I have especially enjoyed the ones I had in the past who were willing but had a bit of shyness even as they followed my commands. I am now out of practice and I am uncertain if I can even meet one who hasn't already been taken. As with life it seems that I can't find a good path or a steady way to achieve my goals.
I am looking to chat with others and a little help to find what I am desiring in my life. I can't change certain aspects of who I am. I will have my private and my public life separate and I will not cause harm to anyone without consent. If that makes me weak so be it. I lived most of my childhood and teenage years being picked on and bullied for my glasses and geeky tendencies. But I never ran from a fight, I always stood up and faced the troubles, and I don't back down from a friend in need. I have a large family filled with friends and loved ones and I will never turn my back on them. But I desire someone closer than any of them could be.
I seem to have rambled a bit. Anyone to chat with who can either help me along, interested in chatting or advice to give I would greatly appreciate. If you are only planning on mocking go nuts I'm good at ignoring worthless tripe.
I look forward to meeting everyone.
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