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sheisreeds -> RE: Curious.. (12/25/2011 9:17:26 PM)
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I've read Women Who Hurt Themselves: A Book Of Hope And Understanding and it's terribly flawed clinically. TRS is not recognized in the psychology field at ALL. What makes it even worse is that it twists the arm of actual evidence based psych theory. The problem with the whole TRS theory is plenty of people who self harm, suffer with eating disorders, and addictions have not been traumatized as children. Also, while cutting is more common in women, it still happens to men. A lot of this division of the sexes is going out of style as norms and gender roles change.
A Bright Red Scream is much better. Both books by the way are extremely graphic, so TRIGGER warning.
Also, while not a research based conclusion I have yet to find a client or person that doesn't agree on the reason why they cut, and it is nearly universal.
It is to communicate and cope with emotional pain.
Self injurers almost universally have poor affect regulation, essentially a lack of internal resources to self soothe, communicate, and process their emotions.
It isn't about necessarily about stress, or depression it's about any emotion that is overwhelming. Self injurers almost universally have a limited ability to communicate their feelings, at times it is like the vocabulary isn't even there. So the self injurer feels something intense and has no way to get rid of it, so they hurt themselves.
The degree to which internal coping skills are impaired is variable. Sometimes it's teens learning to cope with the mood swings, bullying, and not getting a date to the dance. Sometimes it starts and stops over a particular emotional roadblock (e.g. grief).
To speak about it personally, my scars are like a journal. They say what I didn't have words for at the time. They look different based on what I was feeling in the moment. My skin was the canvas. This is why there is so much art and creativity used in therapy.
There is also the addictive property. Self injury is a nice high, and the deeper you cut the more intense it gets. Cutting becomes a way to solve any problem. It's a quick way to feel better than ok, and way better than absolutely terrible.
Recovery is a mix of finding other physical techniques to temper emotions (aromatherapy, music, exercise), and learning to talk. Learning that it is ok to talk about feelings.
That bit there is what concerns me the most about playing with someone with an issue with self injury. Since as a Sadist I depend on the masochist being able to talk to me about what they need to stay safe. I also don't want to feed something that is keeping them unhealthy, I'm not into enabling.
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