RE: under the influence (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 1:03:06 PM)

Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.



PlayfulOne -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 1:07:57 PM)

Well for us a couple of drinks at dinner or after coming home from work while we are cooking and unwinding from the day or no big deal.  We know each other well enough that it is not an issue.  Now that said, 2 or 3 drinks and the knife stays put,  etc....

K



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 1:41:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.

Uh ok I agree, not sure what that has to do with the topic though? 



truesub4u -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 1:44:08 PM)

<fast reply>
Momma use to tell me....a drunk dick has no conscience.

That was all I ever needed to hear. [;)]



Proprietrix -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 2:27:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83
how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'


Here is my personal stance:
I don't drink.
I do not permit my submissives and slaves to drink.
I will not play with anyone who has been drinking.
I will not attend a public play party or dungeon in which alcohol is present.
I will not support any lifestyle group who allows drinking at their events.

If you'd like me to expand on any of those stances, feel free to ask.



proudsub -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 2:46:10 PM)

quote:

a wine enema?? really?? hmmm....i learn something new everyday....



I wouldn't recommend that, can be very dangerous:

alcohol enema



Skuggi -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 2:57:47 PM)

What I know from the Icelandic scene, the rules are strict and for a good reason, no alcohol or drugs.

Of course people have 1 or 2 beers in a private party but in the offcial scene, it's a rule never to allow any type of play if you have been drinking - and of course any drugs are totally forbidden.

Personally I totally agree with that, since BDSM and alcohol/drugs just don't mix.



composer83 -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 3:03:10 PM)

i may be walking in to the Lioness' den here by asking....but.....why such a rigid stance against alcohol, Proprietrix?  it almost seems as tho there is a very specific, personal thing that has happend to influence your opinion as such....
do you not allow your sub/slaves to drink, because you do not drink, & hold them to the same standards to which you hold yourself?  if so, that is totally respectable & admirable........but why not support other organizations where they choose to have alcohol...(again, operating under the asumption that we are *responsible* adults in our decision making, lol)

we all know that alcohol thins your blood.....so any play where blood might be drawn would not be a good idea while drunk....but it seems to me.....people have sloppy drunk sex all the time.......so, what would be wrong with some sloppy drunk bdsm play???

perhaps Ben Franklin said it best.....'ale increases the desire, but decreases the performance.'

its always best to have a sharp & stable mind......i guess i just like playing devils advocate...

~m



slavejlb -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 3:29:08 PM)

Let start by saying anyone with any common sense knows Drugs, alcohol and bdsm dont not make for good bed partners.
for the sub, in many ways her submission become fake and artifical, beside if in a heavy pain play scene she looses all senses including the very important one common sense.  Because her brain has become dull due to drugs, and or alcohol, she does not have controle of her own limits, and things can get just a little bit more then she was ready for in scene. Second, beside the pain from the scene then she/he has to deal with the hangover combo, not good, as my daughter would say bad mojo.
For the dom, if he is under the influnance then he has no controle over his actions and too he can become a little less awear of his slave/sub/toy. this again is bad bad mojo.
and no fun because of the drug cover haze no one will remember.
for the scene to be good, for all to enjoy just depend up the natural drug your own body makes, enjoy the aderline, and epi  and every one can stay safe.
now i will get off my soap box,



xxmstrchasxx -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 4:09:12 PM)

I personally don't drink and my sub drinks very little, it only takes about 2 wine coolers to get her snockered.  I would never let her play when she or I were under the influence or anywhere where anyone was intoxicated and was playing.

Being drunk and having sex is an entirely different thing, in answer to the question above.



IronBear -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 5:17:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Being under the influence of any drug is no excuse for rudeness, bad behaviour or poor judgement! It may explain it but it never excuses it.

Uh ok I agree, not sure what that has to do with the topic though? 



Easy LA [;)] I took the OP literally and responded to that.... 

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

ok......my original post got denied.......so im modifying it a bit to coincide with the TOS....

how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'

personally i think its not the safest thing.....but is acceptable, in my mind, if it is done (as with all things) in moderation.





feastie -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:07:35 PM)

Don't Drink and Drive.

If a person cannot be expected to be capable of driving after a couple of drinks, how could s/he be expected to engage in BDSM play after a couple of drinks?




tade -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:14:07 PM)

Well said. I am always amused when the topic of alcohol or (GASP) any other "libation" comes up. It always sounds like people don't know the difference between having a few drinks and being stinking drunk.

If I want to sip on the single malt of my choice while watching my wife scratch, torment or otherwise pleasure our bottoms so be it. It helps me wait for my turn.

We once had a girl that loooooved the smell of scotch on my breath as I did all the little things that make us us. And a vanilla girlfriend from long ago was turned on by beer on the breath from her early days of sneaking a drink and a fuck after school.

Should you play if you are drunk? Not a good idea, but why would you, top bottom or otherwise. Hard to be sensual when you can't feel anything. Just my opinion.



CERCKL -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:14:24 PM)

quote:

i may be walking in to the Lioness' den here by asking....but.....why such a rigid stance against alcohol, Proprietrix?  it almost seems as tho there is a very specific, personal thing that has happend to influence your opinion as such....
do you not allow your sub/slaves to drink, because you do not drink, & hold them to the same standards to which you hold yourself?  if so, that is totally respectable & admirable........but why not support other organizations where they choose to have alcohol...(again, operating under the asumption that we are *responsible* adults in our decision making, lol)


Personally, I do not care what others do; though certain 'play' seems irresponsible after alcohol, etc.

I do not, I have told her that I do not care if she does but I will not interact with her while under the influence of intoxicants...the reason is very simple, when she is that way, she is not mine. I spoke to her once on the phone under the influence of a substance and did not like the experience and I choose not to repeat it.

As 'responsible' adults we all have our choices to make and for me this is not a moral decision in the least and she is free to choose as she wishes but she also knows my response.

C



petwolf22 -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:16:47 PM)

i was out at the fetish ball in san fran and although there weren't really play scenes going on, more just a costume party type thing, i was more than a bit tipsy and let this hot girl whip me.

Needless to say, i didn't know when to say when and didn't know until the next day just how purple and bruised my ass was.  Not that they were bad, but i'll certainly have to pay better attention next time.

Alcohol raised my pain tolerance-or at least my ability to ignore the pain.



proudsub -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:23:28 PM)

quote:

.....people have sloppy drunk sex all the time.......so, what would be wrong with some sloppy drunk bdsm play???



I can see a lot wrong with it. Personally i wouldn't want to be bound and at the mercy of a drunk dom/domme. Would he /sherecognize if i were in distress? would he/she even hear my safe word? would he/she become angry over something and abuse me? would he/she be accurate with his/her placement of floggings? would he/she pass out and leave me there? would he/she try something he didn't have the skill for, for example breath play? If a sub were drunk would he/she be capable of using a safe word or even feel the same level of pain to know if she/he were in trouble? All kinds of things could go wrong with impaired players.JMHO



LadiesBladewing -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:28:53 PM)

My thoughts on this have changed somewhat over time. I think, in part, that is because I know what I would choose, know my own responses, and know how I would expect my own property to behave, within the parameters of the rules we've set down, and I -don't- feel comfortable making that judgement for the rest of the community.

Would I serve alcohol at an event we were hosting? Probably... there'd likely be wine with dinner, or a sampling of nice microbrews, ales, and stouts. There might be mixed drinks, depending on our interests and pocketbooks. At the same time, we would expect that those whom we would invite into our space would be mature and would choose their drinking and play-times according to the participants' capabilities. If we saw someone behaving in an unsafe manner, or behaving boorishly, needless to say, in our own space, we would feel perfectly comfortable stepping in, but I find it highly unlikely that we would have to, since the people we tend to associate with are mature and capable of self-policing.

Would we attend an event where alcohol was served?... certainly. I don't see any reason to avoid events where alcohol is served. We don't typically scene in public, so it is unlikely that we would be engaging in any activity that would prevent us being able to enjoy a drink, an ale, or a glass of wine. Having been raised in a Sicilian household, I can honestly say that a glass of wine, an antipasto, and conversation are some of the most enjoyable ways to celebrate the company of friends, and when I'm at an event, I want to spend time celebrating the company of friends.

What about the people who get drunk and do dangerous things? That's what Dungeon Monitors are for -- to keep people, drunk or sober, who are doing dangerous things from hurting anyone else. Save the discipline for the individuals who have no sense of self-mastery and no self-control, and let me decide for myself what I wish to do in terms of enjoying myself at an event when nobody else is getting hurt. There is no reason to make rules/laws to punish everyone because a few people can't control themselves.

Da'Avatar ZWD

www.klashaan.org



jezabelKH -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 6:49:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

ok......my original post got denied.......so im modifying it a bit to coincide with the TOS....

how do you feel about the use of alcohol during BDSM play?
is it ok to play & be 'under the influence?'

personally i think its not the safest thing.....but is acceptable, in my mind, if it is done (as with all things) in moderation.



NEVER MIX BDSM AND DRINKING.



genvieve -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 7:06:14 PM)

-shakes my head-  i wouldn't do it.  This lifestyle is dangerous enough without adding chemical influence.  Personally, i wouldn't feel safe if either party was under the influence.



thule -> RE: under the influence (5/30/2006 7:41:53 PM)

I will not deal with anyone under the influence for "play".Won't tolerate it in most "vanilla"circumstances either.



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