Dichotomy

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Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 2:22:44 PM

David519

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Most of the time, the first thing people notice about me is that I am a "nice guy". I am compassionate, empathic and I try to live by the Buddhist precept "Harm no living thing".

Yet, there is this other side of me that thrives on power, control and inflicting pain. In that regard I can be cruel, and devious and, with the right partner, will not shy away from more brutal pursuits. I create 3D art depicting extremely brutal acts.

These two things reside in me without conflict. This isn't a post about the "anguish of what's inside". I am who I am, and I am what I am and I've accepted it. I am essentially a nice guy who only hurts the one he loves...if she asks nicely or breaks a rule. :)

I'm curious to know about other people, so I mention this here.

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 2:33:05 PM

SailingBum

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Hell I aint gotta love ya to put a serious hurt on her ass

BadOne

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 2:43:09 PM

Kaliko

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I can't speak much to the pain part of things, but dichotomy? Sure. Just like when people first notice you and that you're a "nice guy," what people often notice about me is my professionalism, manners, and general PTA-like demeanor. I mean, jeez - I actually teach young people how to love and respect themselves for who they are.

But I lean toward severe humiliation and what some call degradation. In my relationships, I'm cherished and adored (you know, because I'm adorable), but all that nastiness is always an undercurrent.

As you say, I am who I am and I've accepted it. Check that. Nothing to accept, really. I just know what I respond to. No biggie.

(in reply to David519)

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 3:11:23 PM

Duskypearls

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None of us is all one thing or the other, but a blend of many. Sometimes they occur distinct from each other, and at other times, simultaneously. Accepting/owning all parts of us is key.

For me (especially being such a newbie to the scene), mentally embracing the previously unembraceable was a bit dicey at first, but not for long. Once I was physically exposed to the stimuli/people, my body took over, my thought processes shut down, and it suddenly became about who I was, and what I wanted, needed and deserved. It was no longer a thinking thing, but a being thing, with the goal of becoming a sated thing, which is very freeing.

That is an entirely new experience for me, as I have long been guilty of being too much "in my head." I find this stuff incredibly grounding, as it gives me permission, and allows me, to be "in my body," for the first time in my life. To me, it is Big Medicine, and long overdue.

(in reply to Kaliko)

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 3:15:14 PM

kalikshama

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M is a very nice guy...as well as a sick and twisted sadist

You'd never know I'm a sub by the way I act at work

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/3/2012 3:16:55 PM >

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 3:29:45 PM

Clickofheels

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What an interesting and marvelous discovery for you Duskypearls! I'm truly happy for you, my friend!!! (Smiles)

That is all I wish to contribute... thanks!

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 4:18:30 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels

What an interesting and marvelous discovery for you Duskypearls! I'm truly happy for you, my friend!!! (Smiles)

That is all I wish to contribute... thanks!

Ain't it grand, Clicka? What a trip!

I wonder if others have had an experience similar to mine?

(in reply to Clickofheels)

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 6:40:18 PM

Casteele

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From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
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I suspect it's very common to have two or more "sides" to many people, not just the BDSM/Kink world. Different environments may also impose certain behaviors on us.. At work, I'm a IT tech, or rather, a CSE (Customer Service Engineer) as my employer prefers to call it--because it's my job to do whatever it takes (within reason) to serve and please the customer. Many of my coworkers have expressed surprise at how I can be so different now that I've begun to hang out with them on occasion outside of work as well. I'm betting there's a lot of people here who can relate to that.

(in reply to Duskypearls)

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 7:15:17 PM

lizi

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I see this two (or more) sidedness in most people, don't we all have more than one aspect to ourselves? I don't find it odd to be peaceful and loving while also wanting to cause the one you're with pain and suffering. Seems normal to me, as well as being situation specific - there are certain things which have free rein in certain situations for most of us. We don't let those things out to play unless we're certain they are welcome, and we're amongst those we trust.

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RE: Dichotomy - 1/3/2012 8:17:48 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

OP
I am essentially a nice guy who only hurts the one he loves...if she asks nicely or breaks a rule. :)

Is the dichotomy before or after the ellipsis?

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