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No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 9:59:16 PM

Clickofheels

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Joined: 10/23/2011
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I thought it might be interesting to start a...hmmm...kinder, gentler thread, perhaps?
To discuss various topics in a calmer (?) way then they sometimes get discussed (ie. no finger pointing, no bullying, no "raised voices," no swearing (alright, alright...how about trying to keep it to a minimum? lol)
There's a lot of folks on this site who have all kinds of experience and interesting ideas. It would be nice if we could DISCUSS them in intelligent, adult ways! So might we try this please and see what happens?
I believe someone was talking in another thread of how they go about meeting someone for the very first time.
I thought it might be interesting to learn what kinds of set-ups they have for continuing to meet after relationships are established...meet at the Domme's place? the subs place? a local hotel room? a distant hotel room? etc. etc.

Post #: 1

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:04:54 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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When we first met it was at a coffeeshop and then dinner. When we decided to continue seeing each other and date, we'd meet at a hotel. After we were in a relationship it was hotels, his place and my place.

Then I moved 3 miles from him about 5 months ago and got my own place and now most of the time he comes here because it's just easier due to his work schedule.

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Post #: 2

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:16:13 PM

Clickofheels

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Personally? I prefer meeting at a hotel because of the lack of what I deem "outside influences"....knocks on the door, ringing phones, pet interruptions, unexpected friends dropping by, etc. You can set your own mood with music, candles, etc. It's very clean and tidy. It's more stage-setting, I think.

Did you feel that way too, littlewonder?

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 3

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:20:28 PM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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From CollarMe, I have brought a couple women into my life. They fly to me, we date for a few days. They go back home. If we miss each other enough, they can come live with me.

I have also met a few locals but none ever worked out to be more than just lovers. That was the typical coffee date first to sniff each other and see if anything stinks before we commit to a sex date.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 1/3/2012 10:21:00 PM >

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Post #: 4

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:28:01 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels

Personally? I prefer meeting at a hotel because of the lack of what I deem "outside influences"....knocks on the door, ringing phones, pet interruptions, unexpected friends dropping by, etc. You can set your own mood with music, candles, etc. It's very clean and tidy. It's more stage-setting, I think.

Did you feel that way too, littlewonder?

Actually I don't. When we would meet at hotels I felt cheap and like I was sneaking around. I absolutely hated it.

I liked meeting at our places because it felt warmer, more intimate, homey and cozy.

I like when we are at our homes and we can just curl up in front of the tv, I can make him something to eat and we can be a normal couple without feeling like "the other woman" or that he should be leaving money on the dresser.

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Post #: 5

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:46:35 PM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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I'm with Littlewonder.

We dated for a month or so - going out to dinner, the movies, that sort of thing.

We came back to my place for dinner or to watch a dvd or tv because he has kids at home, while I don't. As the relationship progressed, we still use my home.

To be honest, it's pretty much the same thing I'd have done if it had been a vanilla dating scenario. If any guy had suggested we get a hotel room, I'd have been pretty insulted to be honest. Hotel rooms feel (to me) like I'm sneaking around, that it's only about sex and nothing more. So unless distance makes hotel rooms essential, they'd be an absolute no-no.

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RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 10:53:05 PM

Clickofheels

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R.S. and littlewonder... I'm NOT trying to pry, and if you'd rather not answer I can surely respect that. However, due to what you posted I am just wondering...

R.S.? Do you miss having a submissive who lives closer and is available more often? Or are you happy having things as they are in your life in that regard?

and

littlewonder? Is your Master married? And, if so, has that been difficult for you emotionally? (I think it would be difficult for me at times.)

Thanks in advance if either or both of you decide you are comfortable answering. (smiles)

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Post #: 7

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:00:07 PM

littlewonder

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no he's not married. I would never ever get involved with someone that is married..whether she knows or not.

For us hotels were easier because we were long distance and still in the dating stage.

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Post #: 8

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:07:23 PM

Clickofheels

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Interesting post, myotherself! Thanks for contributing. (smiles)

I can see your point about the "sneaking around" aspect, I really can. However is it someone's (for lack of a better description, I guess) marital situation that makes it seem that way?

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Post #: 9

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:09:15 PM

Clickofheels

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Ahh... I understand now, littlewonder. Thanks! And hope I didn't offend you in any way by asking.

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Post #: 10

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:10:59 PM

SexyThoughts

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Like myotherself said. I treat it like a vanilla date. A bit of online sanity checking first, then a face to face coffee. Then some form of activity date, since it's hard to keep a facade up when you're distracted. Then back to my place and if she likes the feel of my life, we play.

I'm not knocking hotels, but they're a holiday thing, not a place to play with someone because you trust them with your body, but not with your furniture.

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Post #: 11

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:21:14 PM

Clickofheels

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Hey Sexythoughts! I think I'm confused about the "keep a facade up" reference?

As for my furniture...I trust him! (winks)

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Post #: 12

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:43:53 PM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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For me, if someone chooses a hotel room rather than their home (or my home), then they're hiding something.

With Master it's got to be my home because he is the sole carer of his children. When we're ready to introduce me to the kids, then that will most likely change.

Having spent many years travelling on business, I always associate hotel rooms with transience, and I've witnessed far too many 'flings' in hotels to make it feel anything other than seedy and a bit sad.

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Post #: 13

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/3/2012 11:45:36 PM

Clickofheels

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Gosh my! That makes me sound terrible then!

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Post #: 14

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 3:02:08 AM

ResidentSadist

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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels
R.S.? Do you miss having a submissive who lives closer and is available more often? Or are you happy having things as they are in your life in that regard?

"If we miss each other enough, they can come live with me." ... everhope, who moved here from California after our date 2 years ago, currently lives with me.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Clickofheels)

Post #: 15

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 3:33:08 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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Depends how we meet.

If online, I go out and meet them in a pub, normally drink to much, rarely anything kinky happened, if it did that was normally the end of it. However if it was fun I do it again, normally with a meal the second time. My fiance and I did it that way, he stays at mine and I stay at his and to all intents and purposes we are vanilla, we are a couple getting married, my family love him, and his don't mind me much.

If however I meet at a club night that can shift things, it normally meant a greater distance between us so didn't do the pub thing, I always stayed at theirs normally for at least a week.

I have had two relationships which involved hotels, one with a lovely man who did it to cheer me up, a new hotel each weekend. We were more friends than anything. The other was in a long term relationship and so it was all a bit seedy in the end.

_____________________________

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Post #: 16

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 3:39:20 AM

fragilepieces

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He picked me up at the bus terminal---no coffee none of that stuff I went back to his place. THEN we went to a hotel---lol kidding.

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Post #: 17

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 4:05:56 AM

LaTigresse

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My time is valuable to me and, in the past, I wasted too much of it. I would take vacation time, drive/travel, to meet someone that either wasn't what they presented via the net, didn't show, or we didn't hit it off.

Now they have to make an effort to come to me. I will easily meet anyone that I don't get bad juju vibes from. My mindset when meeting is rarely with the thought that they are a prospective S.O......it is as meeting a possible friend, an acquaintance. I want them to be relaxed and I want to be relaxed. Be able to visit with as little pressure and nerves as possible.

Where and how, depends upon my schedule when they want to meet and where they are going to want to meet. Usually a restaurant not far from my office works well for either a lunch or dinner. After I've spent a bit of time with them to get a feel for them, and if they feel comfortable with it and me, and still want to spend time with me.......I will invite them to the farm.

Certainly anyone that expects an "On your knees bitch!" will be disappointed. But I refuse to presume that they will immediately want to serve me, or to allow them to presume that I will want them to. Relationship building is more than a few shared kinks.

I've never met in a hotel and have never had an interest in doing so. Not my style. To ME, it's too....sneaky fling, hookerish.

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Post #: 18

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 4:50:36 AM

sheisreeds

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We met for drinks in one of our favorite areas of the city right after a snow storm. We walked around until we were freezing. We crashed the Rocky Horror Picture Show that Saturday, then met for dinner the next day. The following week we started staying overnight most nights. We were both unhappy with where we were living, and his lease was up. So within a month he was staying with me and we were looking for a house to rent. We signed a lease together around the 2 month mark.

We've been together ever since (about 3 years now).

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Post #: 19

RE: No.1 Thread of a Different Color - 1/4/2012 5:00:59 AM

Hillwilliam

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The first time I meet with someone, it's generally for lunch or coffee. I also tell them to have a 'safe call' before the meet. Surprisingly, a few women don't even know what that is.

After lunch or coffee, it's usually (but not always) back home for both of us. subsequent meets can be my place, her place or a motel depending on logistics. I mean, if I travelled 100 miles to meet someone, were not driving back to my place LOL.

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Post #: 20

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