Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (Full Version)

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MisPandora -> Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 4:50:29 PM)

I've recently encountered a large number of gentlemen, both here and elsewhere, who've approached and automatically assumed that I am a female supremacist.  (That's not the case.)

My question to the submissive gentlemen here is: Do you automatically assume that since she is a dominant, that she subscribes to a philosophy of Female Supremacy?  Further, if she says she's NOT a femsup believer and that's what you seek, would there be a reason why you'd continue trying to pursue her?

I'm interested to hear the responses I receive.



babysburnin -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 6:05:30 PM)

[:D] I'm fem and sub...but cracking up!!!  Everyone knows fems are (more evolved), don't they?  IT's a half-joke...



gooddogbenji -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 6:09:30 PM)

Actually, did you know why doctors slap babies at birth?

To slap the penises off of the defective ones.

LOL!!!!  I am too much....  But so much for your femsup theories.

Yours,


benji



babysburnin -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 6:43:09 PM)

Darn- penises actually fall off - poor babies- what a site!  LOL!!!



babysburnin -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 7:20:06 PM)

P.S.  What will they do without a penis?  (I hope all know I'm teasing.)



juliaoceania -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 7:20:11 PM)

Where did you think that Vienna sausages come from silly?



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/30/2006 9:46:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

I've recently encountered a large number of gentlemen, both here and elsewhere, who've approached and automatically assumed that I am a female supremacist.  (That's not the case.)

My question to the submissive gentlemen here is: Do you automatically assume that since she is a dominant, that she subscribes to a philosophy of Female Supremacy?  Further, if she says she's NOT a femsup believer and that's what you seek, would there be a reason why you'd continue trying to pursue her?

I'm interested to hear the responses I receive.


Ms Pandora,

While I am somewhat of a Female Supremacist, I don't subscribe to the philosophy that women are superior to men.  I think many of the men who consider themselves TRUE (if you've read many of my posts, you'll know how I detest that word) Female Supremacists are living in a fantasy world. 

Those who think that all dominant women must be Female Supremacists haven't met many dominant women in real life.  If they quit hiding behind their computers and got involved in the r/t BDSM community, they would quickly learn that dominant women are as distinctly individuated as the members of all other demographic groups.

In answer to your questions, I don't automatically assume anything about her.  I ask her questions about herself and answer hers about me.  If I find that her desires and personality are incompatible with mine for a closer relationship, then I pursue nothing more than friendship.

As to why so many men continue to pursue women with whom nothing is obviously possible, I can only ascribe that to the unfortunate male tendency to do our thinking about women with the wrong head.



subrob1967 -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/31/2006 5:56:37 AM)

While I enjoy submitting to strong, dominant women, I don't consider them superior to me, if I did, then I'd submit to every woman, and not just my Domme's.



MistressSeeking -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/31/2006 5:59:40 AM)

Are all men Male supremacist? In r/t, i doubt it.  Maybe those that think this are of one mind and body.  Maybe they need to think and rethink again, no that is to much to ask of the Male gender they dont think with their brains, we all know what they think with and yes if the doctor spanks them off then they have nothing to think with.



perverseangelic -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/31/2006 7:07:58 AM)

Good lord, I'm a female s-type and -I- get approached by male female supremacists insisting that they should submitt o me as the superior gender.

So, yeah, it's not just d-types who get approached like this.



talltxsub -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (5/31/2006 11:18:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

I've recently encountered a large number of gentlemen, both here and elsewhere, who've approached and automatically assumed that I am a female supremacist.  (That's not the case.)

My question to the submissive gentlemen here is: Do you automatically assume that since she is a dominant, that she subscribes to a philosophy of Female Supremacy?  Further, if she says she's NOT a femsup believer and that's what you seek, would there be a reason why you'd continue trying to pursue her?

I'm interested to hear the responses I receive.


IMHO....it really has very little to do with superiority.  It is a combination of accepted roles and personalities, along with an acceptance of variations within our own personalities.  Most people who know me believe me to be (and many have experienced me to be) a very strong person capable of imposing my will on situations around me.

There is, however, another part of me that needs and seeks out people capable of imposing their wills. That does not make me their inferior except that it sometimes puts me in an inferior position.  My willingness to be in that position is part of the calculus of it.  A subordinate (in a work situation, for example) who is unwilling to submit to their superiors (in terms of position) is simply a troublemaker and will not last long.  The one who desires a subordinate position because of the strong personality of will of the other is truly submitting.



MisPandora -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/1/2006 9:14:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
I think many of the men who consider themselves TRUE (if you've read many of my posts, you'll know how I detest that word) Female Supremacists are living in a fantasy world. 


I'd tend to *want* to say that as well, but.....I try to follow the whole 'my kink isn't better than your kink' game. If they can find someone willing to engage them in whatever they think they want, and it works for all parties involved, far be it from me to tell them it's a fantasy.  I have a problem with it when they try to shove me in THEIR narrow little box they've made up for what they want, simply because I'm the most convenient one coming their way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
Those who think that all dominant women must be Female Supremacists haven't met many dominant women in real life.  If they quit hiding behind their computers and got involved in the r/t BDSM community, they would quickly learn that dominant women are as distinctly individuated as the members of all other demographic groups.

Interestingly, I find that when I finally DO get the point across that I don't think of myself as above anyone else in that respect, often pointing out that I still need to eat, sleep and breathe, and that I do put my trousers on the same way as everyone else does, one leg at a time.  I'm not some princess on the pedestal; I work for a living and expect us as a partnership to live based in r-e-a-l-i-t-y.  That's when they go postal on me, claiming that I'm a fake or a wannabe or whatever.  *eye roll*

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle
In answer to your questions, I don't automatically assume anything about her.  I ask her questions about herself and answer hers about me.  If I find that her desires and personality are incompatible with mine for a closer relationship, then I pursue nothing more than friendship.


Sounds quite reasonable.  I only wish there were more of your kind out there that think with a sense of practicality and compatibility.  I do appreciate your attention and detail to your response.



MisPandora -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/1/2006 9:20:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Good lord, I'm a female s-type and -I- get approached by male female supremacists insisting that they should submitt o me as the superior gender.

So, yeah, it's not just d-types who get approached like this.


It's a little disconcerting, isn't it?  I just read with much horror, a runaway post about a male sub who's been "forcing" his submission on this other site user.....and it seems to have very much this same sort of manipulative, take-what-you-can-get posturing.  Sorry, but the passive-aggressive, desperate types really are *not* attractive, no matter how pretty you paint the picture!



MisPandora -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/1/2006 9:28:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub
Most people who know me believe me to be (and many have experienced me to be) a very strong person capable of imposing my will on situations around me.

There are very few intelligent women that I know in BDSM that do not enjoy having a strong, intelligent man in service to them.  Who wants to keep a dummy, a lazy being or worse, a dishrag as their 'prized possession'?

quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub
There is, however, another part of me that needs and seeks out people capable of imposing their wills. That does not make me their inferior except that it sometimes puts me in an inferior position.  .....The one who desires a subordinate position because of the strong personality of will of the other is truly submitting.

And there is the wash!  You choose to place yourself into that position willingly and subject yourself to the will of someone you feel to be an equal challenge for what YOU personally need.  The biggest difference I see is that these gentlemen seem to feel this overwhelming need to be *forced* into this place by someone more powerful, cunning, smart or just plain brutal.  Much of this equates into my reality-driven mind as fantasy.  They seem to take little care for the personal values, goals or stated desires of the dominant; rather, they feel that she'll be gratified by simply having this individual that throws himself at her feet to "train as she desires." 

Thanks, but I'll take someone who actually shows an ounce of interest in what I want or desire before I'll take someone who exerts what he wants and assures me that it's "really what I want"!!!!  It's hard to believe that folks try this and think that's the way they're going to "submit" to the will of another.

I do appreciate you sharing your thoughts and wish you the best.



Lordandmaster -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/1/2006 9:31:06 AM)

Look on the bright side--people who say things like immediate reveal that they wouldn't be very good partners for you.  It's like self-Darwinization.



MichaelHunter -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/1/2006 1:10:01 PM)

I don't make any assumptions when I meet her. I ask questions and get to know her.



Carameldomme -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/3/2006 9:40:22 PM)

I get a lot of the Female Supremacist emails, I also get the Black Supremacist emails.
If the conversation develops, I let the sub know I find that a Dom/me can be of either gender and any race. I haven't found this to be a reason communication ends. If he isn't interested in our play revolving around those themes, and can keep those beliefs to himself, a sub can still develop a relationship with me, just as a Christian or Muslim sub could.



littlesarbonn -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/4/2006 4:17:09 AM)

The funny thing is, for me, I'm somewhat of a female supremacist, but I NEVER contact a woman who isn't a known female supremacist with the expectation that she's going to be a female supremacist.

But I'd also like to continue to add that MOST people don't know what a female supremacist is in the first place but because of its misuse, they think they do. There's a huge difference between female supremacy and female superiority. Too often, people use the two terms interchangeably and then want everyone else to fall into preconceived notions of what they think those definitions should mean, while having little to no real life experience themselves in the paradigm.



jezzabelle -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/4/2006 8:27:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Good lord, I'm a female s-type and -I- get approached by male female supremacists insisting that they should submitt o me as the superior gender.

So, yeah, it's not just d-types who get approached like this.



I get them too perverse, and it irks the hell out of me.  They usually insist on calling me Ma'am or Goddess, and I'm like "Hellooooooooo, I'm a slave also, which means, equal ground."  If they believe females are superior, that's fine, more power to them, but if they approach a female that doesn't feel the same way, then they shouldn't insist on it, because for me, personally, it makes me terribly uncomfortable.



TexasMaam -> RE: Sub males presuming a fem dom is a Supremacist (6/4/2006 2:51:19 PM)

Where did you think that Vienna sausages come from silly?

EEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

*laughing*

TexasMaam



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