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Casteele -> RE: Hello to all who choose to read (1/8/2012 2:44:56 PM)
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Hi and welcome to CM, Mr and Mrs Larson.. Here's some tips to help you get the most out of the site:
- Be consistent; Randomly ranting about how others should be more conservative and polite will only present you as being very emotionally unstable. With this "lifestyle," many of us have had to deal with plenty of emotionally unstable types that put such fear in us that we tend to shoot first and run away before anyone asks any questions. Others have pointed out some of the other issues with your profile/posts, but there is one didn't see mentioned.. In your post, you come across as if you are some kind of self-appointed uber spokesperson for congeniality, criticizing others for being harsh and rude. But, from your profile:
quote:
We also DO NOT appreciate people who do not read profiles before messaging us, doing so will be annoyingly obvious.
So if that's the case, don't expect us to be polite, or even nice.
So what you're saying is that there are times when it's okay to be harsh and rude, but only you may dictate the terms and conditions when it is so? To paraphrase your words in a wider context.. "We, the people in general on CM, DO NOT appreciate people who write annoyingly obvious insipid drivel. If you post it, don't expect us to be polite, or even nice."
- Don't be constantly negative. There is almost always a better way to say something without being negative. Writing a simple statement about something you do not like is better than writing two paragraphs oozing with negativity and bitchiness about why you do not like it. Of course, sometimes, the negativity cannot be avoided or is even called for. But those should be the exceptions, not the rule.
- Lower your expectations. Yes, in this case I will say to do that because you are addressing a group of people whom have their own lives which are not subject to your approval or disapproval. We're not all here to please you and live up to what you feel is right or wrong. I also say lower them because, well, you don't seem to be living up to your own proclaimed standards, so why should you expect anyone else to?
- Be "thick skinned," own your actions, and try to learn from the reactions of others. Even when people here jump on someone and beat them down.. it's often deserved, and when it's not, it's a miscommunication. I've seen many posts that started out very bad for the poster, and resulted in a harsh beat-down. The poster then responds "I'm sorry, I did not mean to come off that way, let me clarify.." in a genuine manner, which results in a genuine apology by those who did the smack down and often leads to some very good conversation. I also see posts which get all defensive and twisted, and turn in to little more than a pissing contest on the playground. Hardly dom-like behavior, is it?
- Chose your posts, choose your battles. Some sites will not even let a newbie post until they've been there a couple weeks, read so many posts by others, and so on. I tend to read a lot more than I post, and I post in sections that are more loose/casual. I read other sections, but I have not yet posted because I am still getting a feel for the section, and how to post appropriately in them. It's worked well for me, maybe it'll work well for you, too.
Good luck.
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