NoCalOwner -> RE: BDSM vs D/s (10/31/2004 12:20:26 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Sinergy What I found in my search was very few people were able to stand outside themselves (to paraphrase Dorothy Parker) and laugh at what they see. To further paraphrase Buckaroo Banzai, No matter where you go, there you are, and I found that most people I encountered did not know where they are. Im not sure what it all means, but it certainly qualifies as a.... It's funny, we decide that taking a vanilla, sheeplike posture towards sexuality is wrong for us, and yet as a subculture we follow a lot of the same tendencies that vanilla culture does -- like how we deal with conformity and non-conformity. If we don't recognize the name of a prestigious single-tail maker, the model number of a chastity device, or make of electrical toy, people wonder what cave we've been hiding in. We tell people to find their own kink, yet if someone expresses ideas about kink which are very different from ours, acceptance is hardly guaranteed. Some people will always do things because they're what some other people are doing, and others will do things because they aren't what some other people are doing. But what percentage of the time are we doing things only because it's our nature to do so? Take leather, for example. There are perfectly logical reasons for it being part of our subculture, it comes from gay, BDSM bikers with military backgrounds wearing bomber jackets to protect themselves from road burns. And yet, decades after WWII, kinky hetero folks who have never ridden a motorcycle consider leather to be a part of their lifestyle. Why? Per the definition of "fetish," leather qualifies as a fetish all by itself. But does it really have anything to do with pain, domination or bondage? Wouldn't a collar made of, oh, I dunno... denim work just as well? I'm not saying that it's wrong to remember and respect where your group came from, not at all, but like you said, it certainly qualifies as a....
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