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RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:05:09 AM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.


But for him not to like it there would have to be something specific about it that he didn't like... so where is your self-consciousness coming from?
The idea that we are un-clean "down there"?
That is is a laborious chore?
That he might spend a lot of time and you still won't give him what he wants: your orgasm?

If you don't particularly enjoy receiving it then his doing it to humor you just doesn't make sense.

So what are the thoughts and feelings behind feeling self-conscious?

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(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:16:57 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		That would work, yes. Why do you think I am attracted to this lifestyle?
Angel,I think it has to do with my mindset that I should be the one doing the pleasing. Also, I had a boyfriend many years ago who made a remark about "last week's fish fry.". The boyfriend is long gone, the remark sticks in my mind

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.

So if he were to grab you, throw you on the bed, cuff your wrists to your ankles and begin to feast on your nether regions...........................


_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:32:05 AM   
angelikaJ


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Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		He might have been just a snarky guy or at the time you might have had a touch of Bacterial Vaginosis.

When we are healthy we don't smell fishy.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 5:46:19 PM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.

So if he were to grab you, throw you on the bed, cuff your wrists to your ankles and begin to feast on your nether regions...........................


See thats a hot scenerio. Mainly 'cause it an intense feeling and it makes me want to be able to control whats going on, to be able to stop it if its too intense.  This will sound fluffy to most but I would find that a hard scene to experience.

Guess its about soaking up all the cultural "your vagina is taboo". When your not an exhibitionist being spread, immobilised by bonds and having someones mouth and face so close like that really is absolute torture.  I would never volunteer for that level of psychological discomfort. Despite the intense physical pleasure involved I think this would fall under (if anyone has read the Force/force thread) needing to be forced. It all adds up to a conflicting juxtaposition of pleasure and physiological torment.

Actually reading Iamsemisweet's comment "Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me."
Really does underly alot of my discomfort. I am convinced that the majority of guys dont like the look of vaginas dont like the natural smell of vaginas and find it a chore. This idea has been built up from the reluctance of an earlier partner to ever offer or perform oral sex and  overheard casual comments guys make about vaginas that have made me feel I've got something akin to the alien between my legs.

However I feel no conflict about going down. I LOVE that.

You know you dont hear women actually breakdowning exactly what makes them love or dislike having oral sex performed on them that much. I would love to hear from other women about why they love it or why (and whats happening in their head) they avoid it. I can't even figure out the "why" of what is going on in my head that I feel conflicted about this.

When guy talk about having oral sex peformed on them its usually incredibly simplistic, there is this unashamed "yes my dick is gorgous" and a sense of easy cheerful entitlement in regards to having their dick sucked being a birthright. They like it and while I haven't had a huge number of sex partners no guy has EVER coyly pushed me away and said "no I don't feel comfortable with that." Usually its me pushing and trying to say "damn it let me BREATH a sec" while they smugly keep a iron grip pressure on the back of my head.


Cheers

Sea





(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 6:38:56 PM   
MistressDarkArt


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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


When we are healthy we don't smell fishy.


A slightly-related story: Wayward informed me there's something guys do called 'The Belly Button Roll.' When a guy is kissing his way down a woman's body, if he can smell her pussy by the time he gets to her navel, he starts working his way back up.





(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 7:06:37 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
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quote:

Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.


I find this a little confusing. Trying to get you off is 'humoring you'? It may be that you are, semisweet, playing a psychological trick on yourself. And, not a nice one. I can easily be way off, but, you ever think about that?


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simul justus et peccator
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(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 8:08:20 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
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From: Dusseldorf
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


When we are healthy we don't smell fishy.


A slightly-related story: Wayward informed me there's something guys do called 'The Belly Button Roll.' When a guy is kissing his way down a woman's body, if he can smell her pussy by the time he gets to her navel, he starts working his way back up.



What if a guy happens to like fish a lot????


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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 8:32:05 PM   
TreasureKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Kana ain't licked pie in at least a decade.
No shit.
It just feels (Oh man, this is gonna start a shitstorm) kinda submissive to me. Therefore I don't.
She blows me, but I don't reciprocate.
I know, I'm all one-way here and that's just not fair.
Grins
Which is why I am prone to pointing out that I run a benevolent dictatorship, not a freaking democracy.



quote:

ORIGINAL: Buzzzz

I feel the same as Kana. Not really my thing.


Sad to say, but this mirrors the attitude I've most often seen.  That, or they are just crap at it.

I have wondered if the former attitude evolves out of the latter. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.


This, I can very much relate to.  Who wants pity sex? 

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 9:55:47 PM   
FrostedFlake


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From: Centralia, Washington
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quote:

TreasureKY
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Angel, I think I am just self conscious, and I worry he is doing it, not because he enjoys it, but to "humor" me.


This, I can very much relate to.  Who wants pity sex? 


What?


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:15:47 PM   
TreasureKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

quote:

TreasureKY

This, I can very much relate to.  Who wants pity sex? 


What?



lol... I thought it was pretty clear, but maybe some might have trouble relating. 

I was empathizing with iamsemisweet... I'd be uncomfortable being on the receiving end of a sexual activity if I thought the person performing was only doing so out of some sense of obligation or duty, and actually felt revulsion, boredom, or any other negative feelings.

(in reply to FrostedFlake)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:52:12 PM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Humoring is probably not the best choice of words. And I know that the problem exists in my head.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 10:59:11 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Thanks Semisweet.

You got here just in time. Thanks for responding to my question.

Edited to remove comment to TreasureKY Re : Semisweet Re : Humoring.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 1/13/2012 11:02:10 PM >

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Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Oral sex - 1/13/2012 11:13:16 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		If their pussy is clean and smells and tastes good I love licking pussy, however my partner is a dude, and we don't get down that way with others very often to never, so I don't get to do that.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

But for those of you who have, do you actually enjoy licking pussy or are you just indulging your partner?


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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 7:02:30 AM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

quote:

TreasureKY

This, I can very much relate to.  Who wants pity sex? 


What?



lol... I thought it was pretty clear, but maybe some might have trouble relating. 

I was empathizing with iamsemisweet... I'd be uncomfortable being on the receiving end of a sexual activity if I thought the person performing was only doing so out of some sense of obligation or duty, and actually felt revulsion, boredom, or any other negative feelings.



No I relate with that totally

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 7:41:25 AM   
lazarus1983


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		There's a caseworker at work that reeks of fish dowsed in baby powder. We use up the chemical spray trying to rid the air of her long after she's gone. One inmate threatened to be extracted if he was ever put in a room with her again.

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Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 7:50:53 AM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

quote:

TreasureKY

This, I can very much relate to.  Who wants pity sex? 


What?



lol... I thought it was pretty clear, but maybe some might have trouble relating. 

I was empathizing with iamsemisweet... I'd be uncomfortable being on the receiving end of a sexual activity if I thought the person performing was only doing so out of some sense of obligation or duty, and actually felt revulsion, boredom, or any other negative feelings.




Treasure I thought it was pretty clear. I guess some on here have not had pity sex. Its almost as bad as grudge sex!

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 8:29:50 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Treasure I thought it was pretty clear. I guess some on here have not had pity sex. Its almost as bad as grudge sex!


I'm going to display my ignorance here... what the heck is grudge sex? 

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 1:58:44 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Ha ha! Thank you Mummyman!

Treasure, there are times when men and women have conversations that SOUND like English, but neither party has A CLUE what the other is saying. Now you know how I felt when I read your post. As in ; "How did she get to here from there?"


_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 4:06:29 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Treasure I thought it was pretty clear. I guess some on here have not had pity sex. Its almost as bad as grudge sex!


I'm going to display my ignorance here... what the heck is grudge sex? 



Come-on....everyone knows what grudge sex is. Its when you have a fight with your partner. I mean you are steaming mad......and then 30 minutes later its like you are appologizing......and then comes the grudge sex. You've or the other person has appologized but there is still left over aggression. And that aggression needs to go somewhere.....so extra hard sex it is LOL!

I dated a woman who loved to have grudge sex. It drove me crazy. I could not understand how she could be ready to kill me one minute and literially a few minutes later she wanted to make up and have sex. I am simply not wired for that. That relationship lasted about 4 months. I could not take it anymore believe it or not!

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Oral sex - 1/14/2012 9:44:18 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Come-on....everyone knows what grudge sex is.


lol... Ah yes.  Sorry, it is such a foreign thing to me that I simply couldn't place it.  Firm explained it to me after I'd posted.  Seems his ex-wife would apparently foster chaos and strife in the relationship purposely to engage in it. 

I'm like you and cannot imagine lasting long in a relationship with someone who thrived on that kind of energy.  Piss me off and you'd best not be looking for sex or affection from me.  If you do, you'd better be able to be satisfied getting your rocks off with a stiff, unresponsive non-participant.  And expect to be in the dog house for a hell of a lot longer than you would have been prior. 

Thankfully I've never been with anyone who was like that.

Now watch Firm go and piss me off just to make me. 

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 100
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