The formula for a successful D/s relationship (Full Version)

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CelticPrince -> The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 3:25:39 AM)

We we recognize that a D/s relationship is a two way street and both sides of the slash have to work at it to sustain the dynamic what is it that you as an "s" type do to keep his interest in you both as a fem/male outside of D/s as well as his/her maintaining the D/s dynamic?

If you comfortable with it it would be helpful to other readers to also state how long your relationship has been working.

I will follow this up with the same question to the "D" type in a week or so.

CP



OsideGirl -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 7:24:33 AM)

We've been together 12 years and I don't think we specifically go out and try to keep each others interests. We're just ourselves. We're very good friends that have fun just being together. We still flirt. We talk. We do things together. We spend time together. We talk. We don't over analyze it, we just do.



DarkSteven -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 8:43:39 AM)

Mine's been going on since Feb.  Simply put, each one of us is committed to making things work, and we each feel that we're getting the better end of the deal.  We have to shoehorn in the time for D/s actually - it's simply a good vanilla relationship that incorporates D/s.



DesFIP -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 8:56:33 AM)

If I had to work to keep his interest it would mean he had already checked out of the relationship. We're best friends. We have a blended family. We genuinely like each other and appreciate each others take on things. And we're highly compatible.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 8:57:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If I had to work to keep his interest it would mean he had already checked out of the relationship. We're best friends. We have a blended family. We genuinely like each other and appreciate each others take on things. And we're highly compatible.



Because you have a RELATIONSHIP, that happens to be D/s. Much as I love the s/m play, much as I love being large and in charge, I can't imagine doing any of that long term with someone I didn't really enjoy as a human being.



Kana -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 9:13:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Mine's been going on since Feb. 


Whoa, whoa. How did I miss this?
Big Fucking Deal time here.


Congrats, Congrats, Congrats.




littlewonder -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 9:19:51 AM)

nothing specific. The same thing other couples do outside of bdsm. I just continue to be me, to pay attention to him, to do things for each other, to continue to show our love for one another. We do things together, I defer to him, I do what he tells me to do, I don't cause problems for him in  his life, I try to make his life easier in whatever way I can, I give him affection and love, we smile, laugh, talk, share in each other's good and bad times.

We just are who we are.




littleone35 -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 10:22:12 AM)

We have been togehter 6 years (next month).  We just enjoy spending time togheter the Ds is just icing on the cake.  We also love each other that helps a lot.  I don't have to work to keep his interest.  We talk about everything and anything under the sun.  After i had my surgery i could not do anything sexual for a month, Master did not go out abd find somewhere he came home every night to just be with me.  We just like and love each other.

Matt's littleone



RaspberryLemon -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/11/2012 6:17:34 PM)

There is no formula. I don't have to try to keep his interest--it just happens by me being myself. He loves me and likes who I am. We're each others best friends, and we enjoy each others company and affections. The fact that these interactions happen through a M/s or D/s context doesn't change the fact that we are together because we just like being around each other and being with each other.



CelticPrince -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 2:07:24 AM)

quote:

We've been together 12 years and I don't think we specifically go out and try to keep each others interests. We're just ourselves. We're very good friends that have fun just being together. We still flirt. We talk. We do things together. We spend time together. We talk. We don't over analyze it, we just do.


Osidegirl,

12 years looks likle a good relationship that works well. It does seem that the equation would might be more basic vanilla than D/s........but whatever works!!!!!!!!! Especially the flirting.

Thanks for your input.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 2:09:50 AM)

quote:

it's simply a good vanilla relationship that incorporates D/s.


DS,

Seems that concept is gaining popularity in recent years.

Thanks for your thoughts.

CP



BitaTruble -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 2:42:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

We we recognize that a D/s relationship is a two way street and both sides of the slash have to work at it to sustain the dynamic what is it that you as an "s" type do to keep his interest in you both as a fem/male outside of D/s as well as his/her maintaining the D/s dynamic?

If you comfortable with it it would be helpful to other readers to also state how long your relationship has been working.

I will follow this up with the same question to the "D" type in a week or so.

CP

I feed him. His belly with food, his beast with various pieces of me, his soul with my love, his humanity with my kindness and understanding, his inner child with my nurturing and acceptance, his ego with my pride of belonging to him, his power with my submission.

He feeds me, too.

16 years and counting.



GreedyTop -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 6:11:57 AM)

that was beautiful, Bita :)



fragilepieces -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 10:15:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

We we recognize that a D/s relationship is a two way street and both sides of the slash have to work at it to sustain the dynamic what is it that you as an "s" type do to keep his interest in you both as a fem/male outside of D/s as well as his/her maintaining the D/s dynamic?

If you comfortable with it it would be helpful to other readers to also state how long your relationship has been working.

I will follow this up with the same question to the "D" type in a week or so.

CP

I wear a goofy mask and sometimes I take all the labels off the cans and whoever guess's what is in the can gets to have the remote for the night---our relationship has only been 'working' 9 1/2 weeks but we were a couple long before that---it's gotten better since I adopted wearing the goofy mask. (Literally it is a goofy mask)



mysouldesire -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 10:20:53 AM)

quote:

what is it that you as an "s" type do to keep his interest in you both as a fem/male outside of D/s as well as his/her maintaining the D/s dynamic?


Not to long ago I read the following..... I practice it.

If you WANT a man in your life,
you are going to have to make him FEEL needed.
A man needs to feel needed as a woman needs to feel wanted.



CelticPrince -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 1:07:32 PM)

quote:

If I had to work to keep his interest it would mean he had already checked out of the relationship. We're best friends. We have a blended family. We genuinely like each other and appreciate each others take on things. And we're highly compatible.


Des,

Congrats on getting that blended family consideration to work.................mostly a hard thing to do, but it appears the the kink might well be down on the list of activities.

CP



CelticPrince -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 1:09:32 PM)

quote:

Because you have a RELATIONSHIP, that happens to be D/s. Much as I love the s/m play, much as I love being large and in charge, I can't imagine doing any of that long term with someone I didn't really enjoy as a human being.


LH,

Could you define the above a bit more in terms of the original question?

CP



ScatteredRose -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 11:06:21 PM)

Formula for a successful D/s relationship...Hmmm...

(2x+y^4)(4p+u)x^6+10b
For my formula anyway...Haha!

But on a serious note, it's as other said. You have to have a relationship built on trust and understanding and grow with each other, you can't expect a D/s relationship to just pop out of no where...

Plus, surprises are always fun, no?



BTW:
x=sex
b=beating
y=love
u=understanding
p=patience



Aileen1968 -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/12/2012 11:14:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

We we recognize that a D/s relationship is a two way street and both sides of the slash have to work at it to sustain the dynamic what is it that you as an "s" type do to keep his interest in you both as a fem/male outside of D/s as well as his/her maintaining the D/s dynamic?

If you comfortable with it it would be helpful to other readers to also state how long your relationship has been working.

I will follow this up with the same question to the "D" type in a week or so.

CP


We've been together for three years. It works because we're friends, have common interests, we both get off on making the other person happy.
It's no different at all from a vanilla relationship except that the fucking is so much better because of the kink.
The basis of our d/s relationship is always there. I do what he says. The day I don't means that I want out. The day he doesn't care if I do or not means he wants out.



CelticPrince -> RE: The formula for a successful D/s relationship (1/13/2012 5:20:19 AM)

quote:

nothing specific. The same thing other couples do outside of bdsm. I just continue to be me, to pay attention to him, to do things for each other, to continue to show our love for one another. We do things together, I defer to him, I do what he tells me to do, I don't cause problems for him in his life, I try to make his life easier in whatever way I can, I give him affection and love, we smile, laugh, talk, share in each other's good and bad times.

We just are who we are.


littlewonder,

Methinks even if you do not recognize it besides all the others things mentioned is "I defer to him" has been the key.

Thanks for your input.

CP



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