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Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 5:48:51 AM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

I was curious to know if anyone has specific questions they ask of a potential Dom....I usually allow the questions to flow with the conversation..asking as they come up....but one of the Doms.. I was talking to had a list of questions for me...kind of helped "cut to the chase"....so to speak....so my brilliant idea....is to start my own little questionnaire....since I seem to have more potential Doms than time....I am thinking it will cut out a lot of "needless time spent"....for both them and myself...

Thanks....as always....I look forward to the feedback and advice....

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 6:29:15 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I like to find out about his life, in general. Kink specific questions come later. I ask about his job, family, education, interests, how he spends a Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Oh, and I ask if he's into the NFL. I'm more interested in his personality and how he treats the people around him than I am about how many times he has used a cane. But that's just me.

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- Albert Einstein

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 6:36:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

In the beginning, it's not the specific questions that matter so much, but their attitude and style.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_241888/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cpotential/tm.htm#241888
Questions to ask potential dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_355624/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cpotential/tm.htm#355624
Questions a Master/Mistress should ask slave they are interested in

http://www.collarchat.com/m_232041/mpage_1/key_ask/tm.htm#232041
What questions should a dom/master ask of a sub/slave they might consider?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2197/mpage_1/key_ask/tm.htm#2197
What do you ask?

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 7:49:45 AM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I always start off asking a few questions both regular life and M/s related. For the most part they are not on an important aspect and I rarely care about the actual answers but I do care how they are answered. That is everything to me. Just the simple things like did they answer the regular questions with the same passion as the kink ones. Did they answer them honestly and directly and not some self grandiose way. I want to know if I am dealing with someone who is going to be honest and is able to communicate.

After that, I tend to let the path go more naturally, but I always feel it is a good idea to ask questions from both people at all times. I have been so frustrated a few times when a promising person writes such close ended messages that I really have nothing more to write them about and I do not want to be the one who carries all of the conversation.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 8:09:31 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

After exchanging pleasantries and once a comfort level is established and the nervousness has ebbed; there is only one question, the same I asked of any submissive. It can take the rest of the day or the rest of your life to get an answer that indicates the person you are meeting is compatible.

"Why are you seeking a relationship or experience that includes aspects of BDSM or D/s?"

(in reply to lisa1978)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 8:27:25 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

i so agree.. i hate when they sit there..and expect me to write all of the questions..and keep up the whole conversation..that is when i usually get bored..and just quit talking all together.

i like to learn about them.. their interests.. i need to know i have more in common with them than a flogger. One thing i require is a sense of humor..it's a must with me.. when i get someone that can't laugh at anything.. i know it's pretty much not going to work out. Sometimes i slip questions out in a joking manner.. like.."You aren't going to use me as an ashtray or toilet are you?". i agree with above also in.. that i like to hear him have passion about things more than sex... i want to hear what he really enjoys..and wants to share with me. To me...those things are as much of a turn on..if not more.. than the sex part of it. i think it is true..for me any way...that the mind is the most sensual organ we have.. if he can get me there... he will have me.

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to lisa1978)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 8:59:47 AM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

In the beginning, it's not the specific questions that matter so much, but their attitude and style.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_241888/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cpotential/tm.htm#241888
Questions to ask potential dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_355624/mpage_1/key_questions%252Cpotential/tm.htm#355624
Questions a Master/Mistress should ask slave they are interested in

http://www.collarchat.com/m_232041/mpage_1/key_ask/tm.htm#232041
What questions should a dom/master ask of a sub/slave they might consider?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2197/mpage_1/key_ask/tm.htm#2197
What do you ask?

Great links...thank so much

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 9:00:57 AM

eruditegirl1

Posts: 175
Joined: 5/9/2006
From: Nevada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

After exchanging pleasantries and once a comfort level is established and the nervousness has ebbed; there is only one question, the same I asked of any submissive. It can take the rest of the day or the rest of your life to get an answer that indicates the person you are meeting is compatible.

"Why are you seeking a relationship or experience that includes aspects of BDSM or D/s?"

That question will be so on the list.....

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 9:47:46 AM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

girl has a list of questions on her home pc that she asks Doms/Dommes, and although they are just basic ones she has come up with, she knows there will be more to add to the list later on.....especially after her visit to the Dominant Couple she is with for a few more days.

girl usually asks: what His/Her liimits are, do They use/believe in safe words or safe signals when one can't speak, what would They do if a sub/slave was told to write daily in her journal but one day decided not to just for the sake of being disobedient, whether They prefer corner time, cage time or both for punishments, what movies do They like.....things like that, but those are just a basic starter point for girl to get the ball rolling so to speak.

hope this helps...

Blessed Be

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to eruditegirl1)

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 9:55:15 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

When I was looking I had many of the same questions that some have posted here, and these are still some of the first things I talk about in the "getting to know you" phase. I also discuss some of my limits right off the bat though. The last time I was looking I was contacted by this very handsome guy that had a great personality, but he was not into pain and totally into bondage. I am willling to experiment with bondage, some sorts of bondage are a limit for me... I love erotic pain. I emailed with him for a couple of weeks before this came up and I could have saved us the time by finding this out in one of the first emails. I think that if I ended up looking again sometime in the future I would exchange information like this right away. It isn't sexually descriptive necessarily....lol... it is just informational.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Questions for potential Doms - 5/31/2006 6:05:26 PM

cillydom

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

I don’t think there is a shortcut to finding out about someone.

That said get a sense of wether his answers are consistent across different questions and try to determine if he is giving you answers he thinks you want to hear, his answers should be his answers wether you like them or not.

Below is something I put in another thread.

How to find dom/subbie.

Take two pieces of paper. On th first write a description of the person you want.

On the second piece of paper with much thought write a description of the relationship you desire.

Take the first sheet of paper and tear it up.

Take the second sheet of paper and go find him/her.

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Post #: 11