LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
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And they won't. Period.
I can only control me, what I read, what I reply to, and how it all affects me. There are more posters who's words I do not read, than do. I ignore most of the ooey gooey, stupid to me, flirting. The purposely misspelled silliness. Most of the posts by several that never EVER post anything positive, especially towards women. One is so misogonystic and unaware, there is very little of their spewage I bother with. There is another similar to that one, that used to post prolifically and with a dance on the edge, mostly entertaining, that now is just juvenile in their attacks with nothing of value or entertainment. I ignore 99% of whatever they write unless my eye catches my name with the second. The other day they did, I replied, and then quickly realized that it was fruitless. He was determined to see me and my motive falsely, due to some crazy shit of his own. I just quit reading his posts and replying. The first, I've no consideration for his way of thinking so why bother, seriously. I know he's a putz, why drag myself down reading his drivel level? Certainly I've seen some maso women that seem to think he's fabulous and yanno, for them, he may be. He may be feeding into their own twisted personal shit. Who am I to deny them, that.......whatever.....experience. Ultimately they will pay the price. It's not my responsibility.
There are a large number of people that are hell bent on posting nothing but sickening saccharin waste, IN MY EYES. I don't bother reading their stuff and it would be ridiculous to post in reply to it. It's a waste of my time. They are entertaining themselves and those like them. Most of it is in it's own section, though it does tend to drift into off topic. I immediately recognise the poster, and move along. As I said, it entertains them and a few others. Who am I to say they shouldn't be able to post drivel just because it is drivel to me. It may be fabulous to someone else.
You can only control you, what you read, what you reply to, and how all of it affects you. I've said this before and I will continue to say it. We have joined a FREE site that is owned by someone else. That someone else has created a Terms of Service. Those are the rules we must adhere to to remain members. Those owners have respresentatives to make sure the TOS is being followed. Beyond that, there is only one person responsible for MY words and that is ME.
If MY words are within TOS and I am comfortable with them, then it really is a case of too bad, so sad, move along if you don't like it. I know I am abrasive and I know that I am offensive to those with thinner skin, more sensitive sensibilities. To a point I say, too bad. Some of the stuff I see as drivel is to ME, annoying and offensive also. So we, as individuals have a choice, behave as adults and take responsibility for ourselves, not only our own words and the flack we may get for them, but how we react to other's words......or we whine and moan and try to get other's to shoulder some of that responsibility. Well, I am not going to take responsibility for some over sensitive twit taking offense to my words.
I already accept that there is an accross the board fact about human beings.........we cannot have every single other person like us. As hurtful as that is for some, it is still a fact. I know that there are some people so sensitive that it is hurtful to accept, not everyone will like you. But seriously, do you need them to? Do you REALLY want them too???? I remember telling Bob once, after one of his particularly nasty outbursts that I was damned glad he lived no where near me. It was obvious he was unstable. There are A LOT of people on here I am very glad are not my neighbours or friends. I don't want their bullshit in my life, and/or, they couldn't handle me in theirs.
It's no different than real life. We present a certain person to the world at large. Yet, no matter what we believe we are presenting, the people that pass us I guarantee get a different picture than we imagine. Some better, some worse, most are just.....different. I liken it to hearing our own voice on a recording versus how it sounds in our head. Some people will be drawn towards what they see, then, the more they get to know you, they are either repelled or drawn even closer. It's the same here.
Just as in real life, there are behaviours of others we either reward with our attention, regardless of whether that behaviour is something we like or not. The same goes here.
If a person doesn't like an individual's style of posting they have the ability to not see it. That is taking personal responsibility.
I am not going to tell any of the regular posters they need to behave any differently. That's not my job here, I am not a mod. I will simply continue to take responsibility for MYSELF. I won't take responsibility for you, or anyone else here. Not in how you post nor in how you feel about how I post. For anyone, including myself, to place ourselves on these pulpits and preach our own, one true way, is assinine and fruitless. Because the very act of doing so is going to be abrasive to some. Their lack of personal responsibility will cause them to either purposely do what we've said we hated, just to be annoying to those they dislike that are doing the preaching, or directly retaliate and create more discontent. It is a no win situation.
You really ARE better off being what you want to see and ignoring the rest and leaving it at that. Sometimes I accomplish it, other times I don't.
When I was out running dogs and feeding horses I thought of something else. I actually believe that, in some ways, this place is a lot less nasty than it used to be.
There are/were, a crew of posters that primarily stick to the random stupidity. They rarely posted anything constructive in the rest of the forums. Yet, when a certain few posters they obviously have/had disdain for, posted, especially on certain subjects, they would swoop in with a lot of very passive agressive 'advice'. Oh it was couched in helpfulness but any moron could tell they were behaving like the nasty middle school girl crowd. The victim didn't have a chance because they were smart enough to stay on the faux nice side and......it was apparent that quite a few people seemed to actually like them. Fortunately one of the ring leaders has disappeared and a lot less of that goes on now. But I discovered that confronting them directly in the thread was fruitless most of the time. It just made me look like a big meanie because, yanno, they were giving such uberly helpful advice and all!
So I began to ignore their stupidity in the thread and just give encouragement to their victim, both in the thread AND, via email. Telling the victim in the email to just ignore the twats and focus on the facts they made available. That those twats did not constitute the mentality of everyone on the site. That it was obvious they were so shallow and insecure themselves, they felt they needed to attack someone struggling to make themselves feel better. Based upon what I've seen their favourite victim post, in the last few years....it might have helped. And the attackers have either disappeared or lessened their attacks.
< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/16/2012 4:22:13 AM >
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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