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RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 3:50:59 PM

cloudboy

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The prescription you list is an enlightened way to pursue a complimentary, non working role in a marriage. The problem with the prescription, however, is its tendancy towards selflessness, reliance on the working spouse, and absense of one's own individual pursuits.

In general, I do believe the non working or lesser working spouse should cater to the one with the more demanding job who keeps the household financially stable. (In modern day the roles in the home are no longer gender specific.)

But the selflessness of the 1950s led many women to unhappiness, my mother being one of them. Truthfully, she would have done my father and us children a favor by looking out for herself more and finding her own individual ways to happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction. If that meant us fending for dinner, contributing more to the home, or making some kind of sacrifice so she could pursue her own friendships, hobbies, interests, or career --- something good for her that was hers --- our household would have benefited.

Put another way, it is incumbent on a spouse to make herself or himself happy first, and from that base I think she's more immune from the depression and mood swings of feeling trapped, dependent, and other oriented ---- and when one is happy -- they are much better to be around in every sense of the word.

In the end, the marriage, the spouse, etc. won't make the woman happy --- they can only enhance, add to, or be an outlet for her own individual happiness, which to a large degree, she must self create.

The dilemma of today's modern American woman is balancing her career and marriage / children. The bitterness of some women is the ill fated desire to have both (be a super mom and have a power career.) Striking a balance in this area, IMO, is the key for women to be happy in their marriages and happy with themselves.

I shall now step down off the soapbox.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 41

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:03:21 PM

sensualmagirl

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
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Thank you for this catize...

Yes, I think I read this article before too... that's what I meant by We all need a "wife" ... I personally would love to be able to stay at home and tend to the house, etc., I have done it before for a short time, and really, really, really enjoyed it! Became quite the bread-making expert too!

I found more fulfillment in that short time when I was unemployed/playing homemaker, than I think I ever did in a job in an office. BUT, that's me, others do not feel the same way.

But, well, now, I work long hours, and it is impossible for me, so hence, I'd love to have a stay-at-home wife (that's the thing, you need all day/7 days a week to keep up with the task lists) to take care of things for me so on the weekends, I can just enjoy my time off.

(instead of playing catch up all weekend in order to prepare for the work week). Then again, I like to know that I did it myself, maybe I need to find a high-paying part time job, or at least one where I don't work 50 or so hours a week!

Thanks again!

_____________________________

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(in reply to catize)

Post #: 42

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:18:32 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

Don't knock the feminists.. they fought for and won YOUR right to choose things for yourself. And that includes choosing to be a slave or not.

Several times I have considered starting a similar thread. I have often wondered why I, as a die-hard feminist, prefer to be the submissive partner in my intimate relationships with men. I have questioned why what I do is different from what all women were expected to do back then. And I agree, LotusSong, the difference is that we have a choice..
If every woman was ‘naturally’ submissive, all of them would have been happy with their lot in life; there would have been no demands for change.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 43

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:24:44 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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You're welcome! I thought it would offer a counter-balance to the OP.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to sensualmagirl)

Post #: 44

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:25:54 PM

r5200iff

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

Don't knock the feminists.. they fought for and won YOUR right to choose things for yourself. And that includes choosing to be a slave or not.

Several times I have considered starting a similar thread. I have often wondered why I, as a die-hard feminist, prefer to be the submissive partner in my intimate relationships with men. I have questioned why what I do is different from what all women were expected to do back then. And I agree, LotusSong, the difference is that we have a choice..
If every woman was ‘naturally’ submissive, all of them would have been happy with their lot in life; there would have been no demands for change.

I see no contradiction in this at all. Being a good submissive is a difficult thing to be. Your choosing submission empowers you. Surely being a feminist is to embrace the right to achieve your own potential on your own terms. Submission is your exercising of that hard-won right.

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 45

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:27:26 PM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

Wash
Iron
Fuck
Etc ...

(in reply to r5200iff)

Post #: 46

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:27:41 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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Beautifully stated!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 47

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 4:48:16 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

I see no contradiction in this at all. Being a good submissive is a difficult thing to be. Your choosing submission empowers you. Surely being a feminist is to embrace the right to achieve your own potential on your own terms. Submission is your exercising of that hard-won right.

I like that! It is the conclusion I reached after first struggling with the concept of becoming a submissive /feminist .......and you have stated it more powerfully than I was able to!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to r5200iff)

Post #: 48

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 5:53:25 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Back in '55 she had to accept him staying out all night because she couldn't support herself or her children if he walked. She also didn't worry about getting AIDS of Hepatitis if he was tomcatting. As for whoever wanted a woman from '55, that's me. I was born that year.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 49

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 6:55:00 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

It wasn't uncommon for ladies to be prescribed valium or other drug of choice, almost as an afterthought in a Dr visit.
My mom was always loopy. Until she got a job outside the home I don't think I ever saw her happy.
Kyst

Oooo,,, that's RIGHT! I had forgotten..My mother did take valium also.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 50

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:08:22 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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Another good thread ruined by women who have to medicate themselves to keep the instability of your gash from overwhelming you.

_____________________________

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 51

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:14:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Another good thread ruined by women who have to medicate themselves to keep the instability of your gash from overwhelming you.

Are you ever going to come up with a new schtick? I only ask because this has gone way beyond boring. It's like watching the same rerun of Andy Dick 100 times in a row.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 52

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:16:04 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Oh, gAWD I feel So OLD....
What a drag it is getting old.
"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day.

"Things are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day.

Doctor, please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

"Men just aren't the same today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy. You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimise your plight.

Doctor,plese, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old.

Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running to the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way through your busy dying day

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 53

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:20:07 PM

farglebargle

Posts: 10715
Joined: 6/15/2005
From: Albany, NY
Status: offline

<pre>
Wives And Lovers
Words & Music by Hal David & Burt Bacharach
Recorded by Jack Jones, 1963 (#14)

Em7 A7 G/B A7
Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup --

Em7 A7 G/B A7
Soon he will open the door.

F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
Don't think because you've a ring on your finger

F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
You needn't try anymore,

Bm7-5 E7 Bm7-5 E7
For wives should always be lovers, too;

C#m7-5 F#7 C#m7-5 F#7
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you,

Bm7-5 FM7 E7 E7 alt G/B A7
I'm warn - ing you...

Em7 A7 G/B A7
Day after day, there are girls at the office,

Em7 A7 G/B A7
And men will always be men;

F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers --

F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
You may not see him again.

Bm7-5 E7 Bm7-5 E7
For wives should always be lovers, too,

C#m7-5 F#7 C#m7-5 F#7
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you;

Bm7-5 FM7 E7 E7 alt G/B A7
He's al - most here.

Em7 A7 G/B A7
Hey, little girl, better wear something pretty,

Em7 A7 G/B A7
Something you'd wear to go to the city,

F#m7 B7 F#m7 B7
And dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music,

Em7 A7 D D6
Time to get ready for love,

Em7 A7 F#m7 B7
Time to get ready, time to get ready,

Em7 A7 D D alt - D6
Time to get ready for love.

DAMN YOU HTML! For ruining the markup... Do <pre> tags work?

</pre>

< Message edited by farglebargle -- 2/9/2007 7:21:12 PM >

_____________________________

It's not every generation that gets to watch a civilization fall. Looks like we're in for a hell of a show.

ברוך אתה, אדוני אלוקינו, ריבון העולמים, מי יוצר צמחים ריחניים

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 54

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:26:30 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

That is a fairly famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) article that was published in a magazine called "Housekeeping Monthly" in may of '55. It makes the rounds every once in a while.

Thank you Leonidas, i didn't know its origin.

I recall being taught this in Junior high..in Health class in the midwest. It's legit.

Could be some of it stuck.. and why I've been married going on 34 years.

I don't know...I just had my 18th anniversary on the 5th, and have a poly household where I am the dominant. The article is not for everyone.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 55

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:27:10 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Another good thread ruined by women who have to medicate themselves to keep the instability of your gash from overwhelming you.

Are you ever going to come up with a new schtick? I only ask because this has gone way beyond boring. It's like watching the same rerun of Andy Dick 100 times in a row.

Celeste

I do feel I have over stepped the boundaries of civility. My misogynistic past...will be just that....Goodbye "Mantopia." I believe the new and improved Domiguy will be more to your liking....a more pleasant kinder fellow...Respectful to women, the elderly, small children as well as all animals....The time has come for change...Thank you Bita for pointing that out.

_____________________________

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 56

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 7:35:44 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Just you all hold on right here, now you goddamn smut peddlers---
How did Leonidas and LotusSong become one and the same?

No fuckin way jack, you can suck my ass with a straw, that post didn't happen

Agent Scully

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 57

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 10:58:14 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

Ugh, I found that so disgusting. I would really like to know who wrote that and how widespread it was read. I know we all like to think all households were like "Leave it to Beaver" back then but even before "feminism" there were plenty of female run or shared responsibility households.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 58

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/9/2007 11:07:04 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

and the snopes article that goes with it ;)

Here is the link to that.
http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 59

RE: 1955 a good wife - 2/10/2007 8:43:51 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Another good thread ruined by women who have to medicate themselves to keep the instability of your gash from overwhelming you.

Out of curiosity, what did you find so good about this thread?

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 60

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