LadyPact
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OP, since you say that your intent with this thread is to understand, I'm going to try to help you do that. I do have to state that I am not a fin domme, but getting the concept behind some of these things doesn't require being in the profession to understand how it works.
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ORIGINAL: HisPet21
#1. In the several months that I've been on CM, during which I've regularly perved profiles, I've never once seen a male sub proclaim that he actually wants to buy a chick lots and lots of stuff. I've seen male subs proclaim that they will pay tribute if necessary, but I've never seen it listed as a kink. And yet, I've seen posts on here describing almost every other obscure fetish imaginable: Crucifixion, farting, diapers, stomach impalement, and more recently, chips up the bum. If there are really enough finsubs out there to support the hundreds of findoms with clients, how come I've never seen one? Considering just how many findoms there are, and how few finsubs I've run into, I have to ask...whose supporting all the findoms? Finsubs, or men who can't get a women to look them in the eye unless they have a fancy new credit card and pretty paycheck? In other words, how much financial domination is actually financial domination, and how much of it is regular old phone sex? I keep hearing, over and over again, that there are finsubs all over the place. But I just don't see the evidence. If a car salesman told me that everyone and his mother was buying some New Model X, but I never saw one on the road, do you think I'd believe him?
I can't speak for "all over the place". I can say that they certainly are out there. Some of whom, I actually know in person, and in particular, a few of them who used to post here. For some, it's that they see it as a case of the other person having the power over them to take their money. Others, they get off on feeling that they not worth someone's time and attention unless they pay. That idea loses part of it's allure if they put in a profile that they *want* to tribute. They want to *feel* that it's their only option, so they don't advertise it. (I've even heard one tell Me that it's just not nearly as satisfying if the female contacts him first because it doesn't give him the same satisfaction because part of his fulfillment was begging for the attention.)
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#2. On another thread concerning financial domination, several findoms came forward, bragging about how they never, ever had to work. As if sitting in your house, eating and sleeping all day, was something to be proud of. Now, I know that not all findoms see clients as free meal tickets. I know that there are some findoms out there who, you know, actually work to satisfy their clients and who see their domination as a job. Never-the-less, it still bothers me that so many professionals brag about how little they have to do on a day-to-day basis, as if laziness is a virtue. Hey, even if I were a billionaire, I'd get bored doing nothing all day. I find it hard to respect those findoms who don't get bored by nothingness.
I'm seeing this as nothing more than not breaking character for any other role play situation. Yes, I get that this wasn't part of a 'scene' since it was posted to the message boards. However, these are the same folks who adapt a certain type of persona for their clients and that illusion only works if the reality doesn't shatter it. That's part of the kink for some. For the fin domme to be using other people only for their money and to those who pay to feel that satisfaction of being used.
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#3. In my pursuit of some, you know, info on financial domination, I ran across a bunch of stuff that absolutely sickened me. For example, forced intoxication sessions? The f*ck is that? Sessions where you force your sub to get drunk, and then ask him to buy you stuff. How is THAT safe, sane, or consensual? It isn't. End of story. What about all the findoms who legitimately blackmail clients? Or proclamations by proposed findoms, arguing that "I don't give a sh*t if you can't pay your bills. Mine come first." Is that part of catering to your client, or being an awful person?
Before anything else, let's remember that not everybody thumps that same SSC drum. There a good number of folks out there who define themselves as RACK (risk aware consensual kink) because they feel it's a lot more accurate. The concept of RACK says that when you decide to do whatever it is that you are going to do, you are aware of the risks involved.
The consent part comes in when the arrangement is agreed to and the client goes in *knowing* what the outcome is most likely to be. This is like any other 'forced' scenario connected with any other kind of play. Part of that is the person saying they don't want to feel responsible for the outcome, even though that outcome is exactly what they wanted in the first place.
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So, I guess I just want to hear from actual, professional findoms. What do you get out of this? What do you do to ensure that your client gets what he pays for? Do you see yourself as a goddess who is entitled to your pay pigs' money, or do you view your domination as a career, with a fair exchange of goods and services? What do your subs seem to get out of this? What ethical standards do you hold yourself to, if any, to ensure that you don't push your clients into financial trouble?
Now it's time for a little fairness. As I've said, I'm not a fin domme. I'm just going to put Myself in place of what you are asking others here.
I did hear you when you said that you were trying to understand this particular kink. You could fill in the blank with any other kink and ask the same questions. Emotional sadism is a good example. How do I sit here and convince you that I'm ethical about it? You don't know that I'm a responsible Dominant or even if I follow any of the standards that I might type up for you here.
Anytime we run across a kink that we don't enjoy ourselves, you can use the same fill in the blank tactic to understand what other people do get out of it. Answer your own questions given above about a kink that you *do* enjoy. Then realize that those same answers are the ones that apply to other people for the kinks *they* enjoy. It feels good. It hurts. It makes you feel secure or insecure. It makes you feel powerful or powerless. Point is, two different people and different kinks, but getting the same kind of satisfaction in engaging in them. That's the key to understanding other people's kinks. Not the kink itself, but accepting that the same answers to "why" can often be the same.
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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Why Financial Domination Bothers Me... - 
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