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ElanSubdued -> RE: Help!! Unfinished Homework for Daddy (1/18/2012 9:39:21 AM)
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Berzerkette,
quote:
Thank you ma'am...
Oops. Sorry. Clarification. It's Mr. Elan. :-)
quote:
...although totally confused its great advice and definitely taken to heart. The assignment was a way to earn his trust back because I disobeyed him big time.
Three questions, if you don't mind, please.
One, the advice I gave is confusing, or you are confused by the situation with your Dominant, or you're confused by both?
Two, you disobeyed your Dominant "big time"; what did you do?
Three, why do you and/or your Dominant think having someone pee on your face will earn his trust back?
A comment on my last question. Things go wrong in BDSM relationships just as they do in vanilla relationships. Sometimes submissives do things they they shouldn't (either accidentally or purposely) and Dominants make these kinds of mistakes to. Also, sometimes "stuff just happens". (i.e. Even with the best intent, planning, and careful behaviour of both partners, something goes wrong.) When this happens and trust is broken, normally what is needed is communication, which takes the form of listening to each other, hearing each other, acknowledging each other and apologizing as appropriate, and possibly taking corrective action. BDSM play, such as having someone pee on your face, isn't typically part of this process. Play is play. Conflict resolution is conflict resolution. These are two different things.
Keep in mind that if you did something terribly wrong and feel bad about this, that's not a good time to take on new partners and additional play activities. People generally make bad decisions when they are under stress. Your Dominant should know this and if he doesn't (or if he has forgotten), now is a good time to remind him, respectfully and in a supportive way. If you truly hurt your Dominant, I doubt someone peeing on you is going to fix this. On the other hand, if this is just a play activity, you may need to rethink how you negotiate these activities. Pee play with a relative stranger isn't such a good idea, in my opinion. This is a great example of "hot on paper or hot in the mind" isn't necessarily so hot in real life if you catch a sexually transmitted disease as a consequence. There is a way to do the scene you're describing in a safe way, but it doesn't sound like the two of you (you and your Dominant) are going about this in a safe way. Regardless, whether you hurt your Dominant or the two of you are doing a play scene, it seems like a good idea to stop what you're doing, communicate, and rethink things.
quote:
Oh yeah and of course I didn't start conversations with other female subs saying pee on my face. I'm saying normal things like how r u and great ideas in ur profile let's chat.
Okay. That's a good place to start. I'm not meaning to be persnickety, but... an even better place to start is with proper sentences. Avoid net-speak because it generally makes a bad impression, especially with people who don't know you.
There tends to be a lot of static on forums like this and thus sincere questions sometimes get mixed up with the chaff. You received some sharp replies, but I hope you continue posting here and learning. There are some very knowledgeable and very kind people on this forum. Welcome aboard, Berzerkette.
Elan.
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