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I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:21:33 AM

SenshiSwitch

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/21/2012
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Ok, I'm not only new to this website, but new to this all in general. I was introduced to some things that later became kinks to me a while ago and had one experience where I had my hands and legs tied up. I was slapped and scratched and told to do things and I really enjoyed it. Since then, it's just been a growing desire to learn more about it and do more. I've role played a lot of things, but only online and I really want some real life experiences. I'm not really sure where to look for a mistress though. :/ This website isn't confusing or anything, but I seem to keep running into people that want money for their attention. I don't want that kind of relationship, just a mistress that will teach me and train me. Could anyone help direct me?

~SenshiSwitch~

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:36:04 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
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Finding the right person has a lot to do with what you are looking for(what kind of kink) It also has a lot to do with what kind of a person you are to begin with. Are you looking for long term? Are you looking for play partners? Are you looking for a mentor? A group? A munch? An event? Do you know anything about your local kink folk? If all else refuses to work have you looked over on fetlife.com. for people in your area?

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:36:24 AM

Ninebelowzero

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Don't rely on the internet get out & about to events & stuff in your area. There will be some.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:46:11 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
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Hi. Welcome to CM.
If you make your way down to the "Ask a Mistress" forum, there are some FAQ's in there that will help.
In regards to meeting women on the "other side" (collarME is a bit different than collarCHAT), be sure to run any potential Mistress photos that you talk to through www.tineye.com!

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:47:31 AM

SenshiSwitch

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@MissImmortalPain
I filled out the interests things on my profile. It had most of my kinks in there. I'd like something long term and a mentor. I don't know much about the local scene and events are scarce in my area.

@Ninebelowzero
I searched for events in my area. Most possibilities were eliminated by cost. The rest, distance.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:50:20 AM

SenshiSwitch

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Thanks. What is tineye for?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Hi. Welcome to CM.
If you make your way down to the "Ask a Mistress" forum, there are some FAQ's in there that will help.
In regards to meeting women on the "other side" (collarME is a bit different than collarCHAT), be sure to run any potential Mistress photos that you talk to through www.tineye.com!

(in reply to SenshiSwitch)

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:56:34 AM

MissImmortalPain

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Yes, I know I looked at your profile. That was why I suggested fetlife. I am in a rather remote area myself and they do make it as I said a little easier to find people in your area. Or at last folks closer to you that might be willing to talk to you.

*to answer the other question* tineye is a photo search engine that can help to tell you if a picture has been posted many other places on the net. I wouldn't depend on it though unless all you want to know is if the picture in question is often used because there are many it will not bring up. Is you believe someone may be to good to be true(for example a picture that looks like a model) you can try and see if they find it.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 7:59:23 AM

SenshiSwitch

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Thank you. You've been really helpful. I try out fetlife and see what's going on over there.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 8:07:30 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

I seem to keep running into people that want money for their attention. I don't want that kind of relationship, just a mistress that will teach me and train me. Could anyone help direct me?

As a female sub, this site was great for me to hookup. Since you are a male sub, the odds are against you. In person networking at BDSM events will improve your odds. Volunteering at events can work wonders.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 9:47:17 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Munches are just friendly groups of people who meet in a restaurant and chat. It costs only the cost of your meal.

Search BDSM and your town to find them.

However since you're under 21 you may not find all groups open to you. Since most meetings are held in restaurants with alcohol, the group leaders don't want the liability if you drink.

The other thing you can do is just date, and ask the girls you date, once things get to a point where you're both interested in sex, if they have any interest in this. You enjoyed being tied up and having sensation play applied to you. But you might also enjoy doing that to someone else. Talk to people and see what they enjoy and explore things together.

There's nothing different about finding a partner here, then anywhere else. You want someone you have a lot in common with, someone whose company you enjoy, someone who wants to try the same things you want to try.

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 10:12:04 AM

lizi

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Hey, welcome. It is kind of frustrating to identify something you would like to add to your life and then have it be difficult to get. You're looking for a lifestyle Domme, there aren't as many of them to go around as there are men who want them. Therefore the women charging money have kind of stepped in to take advantage of an uneven ratio.

I think the best thing you can do is keep trying. Approach Dommes that capture your interest as women first and do the stuff that you do when you would like to date someone. Being polite, interesting, funny, and not groveling will go a long way just as it does with any other woman that you meet. I know the RL events are a bit out of your way but that's a great way to even up the ratio a bit as in person it's not quite as unbalanced.

It won't be easy and will take a bit of work on your part if you truly seek this. There is a lot of information on these boards as well that you can read and a search feature where you can access old threads. Happy hunting!

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 8:51:12 PM

anonymous2351

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I am new here too what you described sounded very interesting to me have you had any contacts resulting from this site

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RE: I'm a little lost here. :/ - 1/21/2012 10:54:13 PM

LadyPact

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I'm going to post the answer that I had written on your other thread because they really frown on cross posting here and they will remove one of them. This thread is the one that seems to have more information on it, so hopefully, they will leave this one up and nix the other.

Anyway, you are in a city with an active kink community. With that said, you will have to check age limits. There are some events in that area that are 18 and above and others are 21 and above. Still, I'd highly encourage you to check out some of the groups where your age won't be an issue and get out there.

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