Challenges of Submitting

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babysburnin -> Challenges of Submitting (5/31/2006 10:46:07 PM)
This is not a poll (dear mod)... What was/has been/still is the most difficult thing/part of you to submit to?

Rayne58 -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 12:12:10 AM)
Anything that pushes me out of my comfort zone, especially things like public play.........I'm very shy and have a bit of social phobia and for Master to tell me for example to go up to a Domme I'd just met and respectfully ask if she would like to spank me (as happened at a play party last weekend) is very difficult for me to do. I in fact wimped out of doing that and ended up feeling so bad about doing so that He said I had punished myself more than He ever could have......[:o][&o][:(]

BitaTruble -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 12:18:41 AM)
quote: What was/has been/still is the most difficult thing/part of you to submit to? I used to have a devil of a time 'not' being allowed to do things for Himself, like getting him a drink or something. Watching him get up and get it himself felt like he was doing my job for me and not allowing me to do it for him. Took a while before I 'got' it.. that it's about service as he requires it.. not as I think it should be. Celeste

Rayne58 -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 12:26:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: What was/has been/still is the most difficult thing/part of you to submit to? I used to have a devil of a time 'not' being allowed to do things for Himself, like getting him a drink or something. Watching him get up and get it himself felt like he was doing my job for me and not allowing me to do it for him. Took a while before I 'got' it.. that it's about service as he requires it.. not as I think it should be. Celeste It took me a while to "get" that one too Celeste [:)] Especially when I broke my toe and could hardly walk for 2 days! Also having Him do things for me, like running me a bubble bath, or buying me flowers. Now I accept that if it pleases Him to do it, then I will obey by accepting these things with a smile and a "Thank you" [:)]

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 12:59:38 AM)
Have been told time and again it is His pleasure to pleasure me as well. It is my job to allow myself to feel his pleasure in this manner. It is his choice not mine. Those are the lessons of my former Master and the words i still hear.

leakylee -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 3:27:09 AM)
Oddly the hardest part for me was giving up my space. I happily bounced all over Master's house without a thought, but the thought of it happening at my house, oh boy. That is still a major issue for me. Guess I have lived alone for to long...hehe.. love and light lee

agirl -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 3:37:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babysburnin This is not a poll (dear mod)... What was/has been/still is the most difficult thing/part of you to submit to? Basically, having to do anything that I don't want to do, but hey, that's submission for you. ....lol agirl

Lashra -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 5:15:28 AM)
Submitting period was and is hard for me. I don't know why but I feel its demeaning and I know I shouldnt feel that way but I do. My sub and I have only played 3 times in 2 years with me as bottom and its because a part of me just cannot give in to him. He doesnt care he's a happy pain/humilation slut, but I sometimes wonder why I feel that way. ~Lashra

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 6:49:27 AM)
Time with my biological family.

BoundRose -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 6:50:06 AM)
Having patience and accepting not only his doing things for himself that I thought should be my job, but his doing things for me that I thought should be my job. My Beloved is a Gentleman Dom and chooses, often, to use that chivalrous manner to instill obedience. It's mandatory, for instance, that I wait for him to hold my chair at dinner before being seated; that I wait for him to open a door for me; that if I wish to have some water or a pop, to request it and wait for him to get it. At least I get to pour the tea, as he has learned from me that in at least some cultures, it is expected that the woman will pour the tea for the man as an act of service. He also helps with the housework, which some may find shocking, but it is his free choice to do so and his decision that since I face medical challenges daily, that I may not expect to take all of it on myself. And then there's the whole capitalization thing. I must write in proper grammatical English, without capitalizing "he" or "him" at all, and using an upper-case first person pronoun for myself. I am permitted to capitalize the "B" in "Beloved", however, when writing of him in such fora as this. It's certainly a different style of dominance than I had encountered in descriptions. To many outside our relationship, it appears egalitarian, but I have learned through these past few years that appearance is deceiving, and that he is fully in charge. -beauty of Charles

NCSilverWolves -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 7:10:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove Have been told time and again it is His pleasure to pleasure me as well. It is my job to allow myself to feel his pleasure in this manner. It is his choice not mine. Oh yes indeed... I still have this problem. I have to sort of be forced to accept that he's finding pleasure in seeing me pleased. Wolf has to remind me a few times.... relax.. and let me enjoy you. I so lose myself into his space. It makes it harder for me to return.

Sensualips -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 7:25:56 AM)
Anything that requires me to wait to speak, when I think I have an important point to make RIGHT THEN.

Littlepita -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 7:35:14 AM)
Learning to have such a strong man that is so willing to do things for me like help with the housework and cooking. Yesterday I was studying and he was mopping and vacuuming the floors. I told him how that made me feel guilty and he told me how it pleased him to see me doing what he felt was important for me. We both comes from marriages where we did all the domestic duties, shopping and paying of the bills. It has been an adjustment for us both to give up that control and learn to share it. I also have a hard time submitting when I feel passionate on a topic and he will tell me to hush or calm down. I have to go within myself to find the will do that in a way that doesn't get me in trouble.

catize -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 10:45:22 AM)
There are aspects of service that I know I should be happy to provide, but I cannot seem to find the joy in it; I don't know HOW to find the joy. Communicating my feelings to my Master hasn't helped much and I know it needs to come from deep within myself. I haven't been able to dredge it up yet.

lisa1978 -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 1:22:43 PM)
My biggest challenge is letting go of certain things that are not my concern. I have issues like anal retentiveness and do not like things that need to be done not getting done and when my owner tells me, for example "they will wash my car", and it does not get done soon after, I will get anxious over it and start doubting myself that my owner really meant what they said or if I did not hear correctly.

babysburnin -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 3:44:32 PM)
[8\|] very interesting...Much of what I am hearing is about accepting being treated well, not always doing for others and allowing others to do for you. It's one of my biggest challenges too. Not so bad as things go when you look at it sideways...

SoquilisGirl -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 3:53:36 PM)
Hi BoundRose, I have a similar relationship with my Dom. Most of the time he is my Daddy and the Dom side only comes out occasionally. Still, when we are out together he enjoys opening doors for me, making sure I'm comfortably seated in the car, and buying me things just because. As my Daddy it's his job to make sure his little girl is safe, comfortable, and happy. When he Doms me I do have to endure some discomfort once in awhile, but as I'm not into pain and he dislikes hurting me, it's usually mild. In my last relationship we got into that whole silly capitalization thing for awhile, but we admitted to each other that we both found it silly and hard to do, especially in a chat room where you have to type quickly! My Daddy doesn't require it at all, which is a good thing. Soquili's Girl quote: ORIGINAL: BoundRose My Beloved is a Gentleman Dom and chooses, often, to use that chivalrous manner to instill obedience. It's mandatory, for instance, that I wait for him to hold my chair at dinner before being seated; that I wait for him to open a door for me; that if I wish to have some water or a pop, to request it and wait for him to get it. At least I get to pour the tea, as he has learned from me that in at least some cultures, it is expected that the woman will pour the tea for the man as an act of service. He also helps with the housework, which some may find shocking, but it is his free choice to do so and his decision that since I face medical challenges daily, that I may not expect to take all of it on myself. And then there's the whole capitalization thing. I must write in proper grammatical English, without capitalizing "he" or "him" at all, and using an upper-case first person pronoun for myself. I am permitted to capitalize the "B" in "Beloved", however, when writing of him in such fora as this. It's certainly a different style of dominance than I had encountered in descriptions. To many outside our relationship, it appears egalitarian, but I have learned through these past few years that appearance is deceiving, and that he is fully in charge.

duckssinthewind -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 4:08:28 PM)
its hard to never justify myself. when i see what has happened, it wasnt me, and He jumps to an accusation, it is my challenge to be silent. His way isnt fair, or perfect, it is just the way it must be.

marieToo -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 4:08:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: babysburnin This is not a poll (dear mod)... What was/has been/still is the most difficult thing/part of you to submit to? Hmmmm....With my first dominant, I had the absolute hardest time getting the word Sir out of my mouth. That was some 7 years ago. I still don't throw it around lightly, but Im not as hung up about it anymore, I will actually address some dominants (even if not mine) that way, just as a form of common respect. It does however take on a more special meaning when it is reserved for a certain someone in particular and it has a different feeling when you use it with them. The hardest thing for me now that Im in my 40s, is probably keeping my mouth shut when I should, and keeping a respectful tone when I strongly disagree with something. Theres really only been a couple of men who could actually tame that out of me successfully. Meantime, I think it hinders me alot in finding a dominant. None of them want to put up with my mouth. argh.

smilezz -> RE: Challenges of Submitting (6/1/2006 5:15:50 PM)
After all these years.........the most difficult is still asking Him for things...even if it's something i truly need............i hesitate a bit. I have gotten better about it over the years, but it still makes me shudder when i have to ask. ~smilezz~

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