Fad or awareness

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BeachMystress -> Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 3:09:37 AM)
Is it just me.. or has anyone else noticed it seems to be the "in thing" with young people to be associated with BDSM. By young I mean late teens to early 20s. Anyone have any thoughts as to whether this is a "fad" or a result of the Internet and other media making people aware of the life style earlier?

Suleiman -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 3:26:49 AM)
There's a few sources for this, in my opinion. Locally, I can say that the Rocky Horror Picture Show has had a strong influence over the younger crowd becoming involved with the trappings of BDSM (the rituals of rocky vary widely from place to place, however, so this can really only be applied to my local area). Similarly, the "goth" movement seems to have an edge of BDSM romanticism incorporated into it as a fashion statement, which once again leads children into our community. I have no doubt that the internet plays some part, as do any number of other sources. What it really boils down to, however, is that for the most part S&M is what most vanilla people seem to think of when they think "kinky sex", and so to impressionable young minds, to be into leather is to be sexy. This has been going on for a few cycles of children becoming teenagers becoming young adults, and so the cycle of imitation is firmly implanted, for the next few rotations at any rate, as younger children observe the doings of older children and then seek to emulate. Eventually a new fad or means of expression will come along and BDSM will fall to the wayside like so many other means for the youth of the world to swap STDs among themselves.

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 3:51:09 AM)
Yes...I do agree. And the music industry adds to it. Not only lyrics, but style of dress. Ex: "...she has foregone her usual bondage attire for something more dressy at this evening's event". Between the internet, goth culture, music and more, young people think it is cool. Then even more misinformation gets spread around. Now this is interesting. I am willing to bet there are teens out there who have more leather in their closets than I do. But I do prefer lace! LOL And I say it on My site...Anyone can take a picture of themselves in some leather holding a whip and say they are Dominant. Doesn't make it so. I am not even sure they are truly aware of the lifestyle. But I do think most of the young people in those chatrooms are being introduced to it, and most of them seem to be teaching each other other wrong concept.

Suleiman -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 3:55:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold But I do think most of the young people in those chatrooms are being introduced to it, and most of them seem to be teaching each other other wrong concept. ::laughing to myself:: My dear, taken out of context, that quote can be equally applied to almost any activity. I do believe that you have hit upon a great truth! (and yes, I wholeheartedly agree to the statement as applied to the context of this topic, I just thought the wonderful phrasing needed comment of its own)

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 4:08:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Suleiman quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold But I do think most of the young people in those chatrooms are being introduced to it, and most of them seem to be teaching each other other wrong concept. ::laughing to myself:: My dear, taken out of context, that quote can be equally applied to almost any activity. I do believe that you have hit upon a great truth! (and yes, I wholeheartedly agree to the statement as applied to the context of this topic, I just thought the wonderful phrasing needed comment of its own) laffs I should have never taken that nap this evening when I was soooooo tired. So here I am on the boards at 4AM. With that giggle, I am off to bed to try for some sleep before the sun rises.

SentForu -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 4:09:44 AM)
I blame it on the internet, TV, and Elvis....[:D]

LadyAngelika -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 5:17:09 AM)
In the industrialised world, everyone is aware of everything earlier. New media technology has increased the speed of information delivery and has made that information much more accessible to the world. So yes, it's only natural that people are getting kinky younger, coming out of the closet younger... by the same token creating software applications younger and cracking into corporate holdings younger. - LA

MistressXinran -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 6:38:28 AM)
Personally I got involved through literature and good friends ( a lot of my friends are a lot older than I am). I have noticed however the amount of events locally where the "goth" scene is crossed with the BDSM scene and I think this is where a lot of the younger people develop an intrest in the scene. Some of these people grow to learn about the scene and become involved in it in a healthy way although at these events I do tend to see a lot of dangerous play from people who don't know what they are doing and assume it's about who can take/give the heaviest beating. Xinran

sub4hire -> awareness (10/25/2004 7:59:58 AM)
When I was in college eons ago we had a BDSM group on campus. It isn't a fad. Actually I was just discussing this offlist. Younger people are more enlightened about themselves and their bodies than we were when we were growing up. It is society changing. I do believe there will come a time when BDSM is as mainstream as missionary sex. If you look at statistics most people already engage in some sort of BDSM, they just don't call it BDSM. They call it kinky sex. I se no reason to disregard what a younger person has to say. Imagine ourselves if we could have found the lifestyle at such an early age? Where would we be today? How much more advanced?

srahfox -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 8:02:09 AM)
I've noticed that is seems to be a passing trend for a lot of them. Like being bi is cool, you don't have to prove it you can just say you are. I think the goth marketing has stolen alot from bdsm, when I was a kid if you wanted to dress goth or be different you had to make it yourself. Now you just go down to hot topic and buy it. I worked at a music store for a while and saw a little girl (13 on a good day) with about 500 dollars worth of black, boots, and corsetry (If not more) and I thought, I'm sure she things she's dark and tragic and all that, but gee, someone has to buy all that crap for her. I don't think that these kids are disscovering their bdsm side I just think it's a trend for them. Saddly it will make us harder to seperate from them and may give these kids the wrong teachings. As for Rocky, before our cast fell apart we had quite a show and I never really noticed a larger trend toward that type of dressing. The one's who were into it were mostly already into it before they got into Rocky. It may be a place by place thing.

perverseangelic -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 8:40:25 AM)
You know, I think I could say that it -is- a fad in some ways, but that that's a good thing rather than a bad thing. I've been aware of what I wanted since I was 6 years old, but I've noticed in the past few years an increacing number of people my age who are experamenting, simply to see what it's like. I think this is a very hands-on way of expanding awareness. I feel a bit the same way about the emergence of bisexuality in my generation. While it's sometimes frustrating for those of us who have agonized over our pansexual/bisexual identity to see someone blithely say "yeah, I'm bi" it's also very encouraging to me, to see that which had been taboo become mainstream. I'm looking forward to the day when benign sexual varience (yeah, yeah, I just re-read Thinking Sex) is totally accepted. quote: srahfox quote: I think the goth marketing has stolen alot from bdsm, when I was a kid if you wanted to dress goth or be different you had to make it yourself. Now you just go down to hot topic and buy it. I worked at a music store for a while and saw a little girl (13 on a good day) with about 500 dollars worth of black, boots, and corsetry (If not more) and I thought, I'm sure she things she's dark and tragic and all that, but gee, someone has to buy all that crap for her. I don't think that these kids are disscovering their bdsm side I just think it's a trend for them. Saddly it will make us harder to seperate from them and may give these kids the wrong teachings. Have to disagree here. I don't think that marketing or an emergence of pop-culture clothes -can- take anything from the enjoyment some individuals derive from power exchange. One will still get that feel, still be able to interact in the ways they choose, regardless of who's wearing black leather collars 'cause they look nifty. Too, I think those of us that would have been inspired to make our own "goth" way, are still making our own way. Sure, you can go to Hot Topic, but why on earth -would- you? Those of us who want to be unique are still doing our own thing. There are just more stores to fall back on now when our talent fails. What is "the wrong teaching"? Who is determining that? Why is it wrong if it works for someone or if that is the way they find pleasure in sexuality?

siamsa24 -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 9:18:56 AM)
Being one of those "young people" I have to say that for me it is not just a trend (nor is bisexuality for that matter). I discovered BDSM at the age of 16 and have been in it ever since. Yes, I was a minor, and no, the man involved was not. I should note on this that he was less then 4 years older then me so it was not illegal in my state, and it was a 100% consentual relationship. I have noticed that it is becoming more mainstream, but is that a bad thing? I, for one, think it's a good thing. It gets more people into the lifestyle earlier and allows more time for growth and development, at least in my opinion. Hey that post switched me to "Indecent", I never thought that I would post that much [:)]

srahfox -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 9:20:25 AM)
maybe I shouldn't have said wrong teaching, but lack of it. It could potentially be a bad thing if some of these kids try some of bdsm because it's cool and really don't know what they are doing. They could seriously get hurt or dissalutioned. I like the fact that it 'okay' to be Bi, I just don't like the fact that it's 'cool' and most of these people really aren't and just pretend like it's a new hair color. I'll admit the I'll go into Hot Topic and go hey, that's cool. I'm not going to buy it. Specially not for what they want for it. Besides, I sew and I'll just make something better. :) My favorite thing about bdsm becoming more manstream is all the hidden 'jokes' in so many shows and what have you. Stuff you'd never get being vanilla. I was watching Family Guy and they were dressing up and right before lois jumped at peter she said 'the safe word it banana' that cracked me up. Maybe I just get in a twist over something so important to me being taken so lightly.

perverseangelic -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 9:40:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: srahfox maybe I shouldn't have said wrong teaching, but lack of it. It could potentially be a bad thing if some of these kids try some of bdsm because it's cool and really don't know what they are doing. They could seriously get hurt or dissalutioned. I like the fact that it 'okay' to be Bi, I just don't like the fact that it's 'cool' and most of these people really aren't and just pretend like it's a new hair color. I definatly see what you're saying. I agree that it -is- a risky thing, but so is anything invovled in sexual expression. I think that those people who choose to bring it into real life, who choose to go beyond the "oh I'm kinky 'cause I spank my girlfriend" are the kind that will read, talk, and find out more about what they're doing. This may be simply my beliefe that people pretty much do the smart thing talking, but it's also what I've seen in my experience. There are plenty of people my age who just play at it. The ones who, like myself, do more than play also educate themselves about what they are doing. I don't see why it's bad that it's 'cool' to be bisexual unless one assumes that identity to impress someone else. Who are we to determine their sexual orientation is any less their orientation because they have it for reasons that are different than our own. I do know several people who made a concious choice to be homosexual. I can't say I understand that, but it doesn't make them any less gay 'cause they -chose- to have that orientation. Quote: siamsa24 quote: I discovered BDSM at the age of 16 and have been in it ever since. Yes, I was a minor, and no, the man involved was not. doesn't it suck to always have to say "yes I was underage, no I didn't do anything that would get people in trouble" ? I was experamenting online @ 14, but every time I mention that people get upset. Even saying that I waited till I was 17 to go into realtime upsets some people. ~sigh~

sub4hire -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 9:44:30 AM)
quote: doesn't it suck to always have to say "yes I was underage, no I didn't do anything that would get people in trouble" ? I was experamenting online @ 14, but every time I mention that people get upset. Even saying that I waited till I was 17 to go into realtime upsets some people If you could look at statistics of boys and girls at what age they start experimenting with sex, would it shock any of us? What about asking them when they first started noticing boys and girls were different? I bet some would say...age 7-8. My neice lost her virginity at age 12. I know the age is going further and further down all of the time. So, why should it bother people what age you started exploring your own sexuality? We all know its going to happen sooner or later. Anymore sooner is what it is and what it is going to remain to be.

siamsa24 -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 10:49:06 AM)
Actually, children start to notice the difference between males and females around the age of 3 months. They know that they are male or female around 2 or 3 years and can at that time determine the sex of all of their friends. They then develop gender stability, or the knowledge that gender does not change over time, this emergaes at around 4 years. It becomes concrete (as in, your gender cannot change based on what you are wearing) around the age of 6. I am full of information about this so if you want to know anything about it please ask. perverseangelic, Yes, I hate having to follow up my statements about when I was introduced to BDSM with an explaination about how it was against the law, but it really wasn't and that I was fully aware of what was going on ant wanted it that way. I had lost my virginity a few years before so I had experienced a vanilla relationship, and evern at a young age I know that was not what I wanted.

RiotGirl -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 11:01:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress Is it just me.. or has anyone else noticed it seems to be the "in thing" with young people to be associated with BDSM. By young I mean late teens to early 20s. Anyone have any thoughts as to whether this is a "fad" or a result of the Internet and other media making people aware of the life style earlier? I think its a result of becoming aware of it earlier. I am in my mid 20's and still have not met any ppl in the vanilla world who are into it. Nor would I mention it. I became aware of it when I was 17. The internet = ) As for the older groups who are into, were you not who you were you're whole life and one day realised there was a name for it? Just discovered it later in life? Or are you saying you only became who you are now later in life. We just discover it earlier.

Viperinae -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 11:07:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: siamsa24 Actually, children start to notice the difference between males and females around the age of 3 months. They know that they are male or female around 2 or 3 years and can at that time determine the sex of all of their friends. I still have trouble figuring out who's who sometimes. Heh heh. Really though, I'm one of those BSDM youngsters we're discussing. I got into BDSM because My subbie girlfriend told me it was her fantasy. It was somewhat shocking at first and I wasn't very open to the idea. Apparently she has been reading BDSM erotica stories to get herself off for many years, and that's how she discovered that it was right for her. I eventually caved to her fantasy and decided to give it a try with some saran-wrap bondage. I will never be vanilla again.

srahfox -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 11:12:29 AM)
I didn't KNOW I was Bi until I was 17. Oh I knew I liked girls, but I thought you weren't 'allowed' to like both. My mom had gay friends so I knew that was fine. I knew I likes guys I just thought I was confused about the whole girl thing. I thought you HAD to fit in a little box. I also thought I drempt of being forced and tied up and what have you due to being molested. I think a lot of people are offended if you tell them you were sexually aware at an early age because they are certain you can't know and therfor must have been abused. That simply isn't true. I was slow on the whole sex seen, I didn't even masterbate until 16. I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you want early. Perverseangelic You could be very right about the people truely being into the whole thing reading and what have you. I do hope that's true. So see all kinds of interesting things working at a music store and it's funny looking at these kids and thinking I was like that. At least a little. I saw a funny sticker once that said 'all you non conformest look alike'. It's funny because being unusual is kind of in now.

perverseangelic -> RE: Fad or awareness (10/25/2004 1:30:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: srahfox I didn't KNOW I was Bi until I was 17. Oh I knew I liked girls, but I thought you weren't 'allowed' to like both. My mom had gay friends so I knew that was fine. I knew I likes guys I just thought I was confused about the whole girl thing. I thought you HAD to fit in a little box. I also thought I drempt of being forced and tied up and what have you due to being molested. I think a lot of people are offended if you tell them you were sexually aware at an early age because they are certain you can't know and therfor must have been abused. That simply isn't true. I was slow on the whole sex seen, I didn't even masterbate until 16. I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you want early. Perverseangelic You could be very right about the people truely being into the whole thing reading and what have you. I do hope that's true. So see all kinds of interesting things working at a music store and it's funny looking at these kids and thinking I was like that. At least a little. I saw a funny sticker once that said 'all you non conformest look alike'. It's funny because being unusual is kind of in now. AGREED, AGREED, AGREED. Jesus, this reads like my own experience. I knew about my sexual proclivities at 6. Before I knew what sex was or how it worked, I was pretending to be tied up or tying up and hurting my barbies :). I've never been molested. People =always= assume that because I was sexually aware young I -must- have been. Grr.

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