RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why?

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (Full Version)

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RaspberryLemon -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (1/27/2012 10:23:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance Im not into humiliation, it requires shame, and if my Dom wants something from me, theres no shame in doing as he requests...Theres no shame in being submissive or obeying something that he wants... I agree with this. Doing things for my Master, even if they are things I would not ever do on my own or do for anyone else, is not shameful or humiliating to me. Nor is it ever his intention to humiliate me when making me do things. quote: ORIGINAL: NyxPontia I'm back! Who missed me? As for the question at hand, I think the only real 'humiliation' I've experienced was being walked on a leash. But I don't know if that counts because, to me, it wasn't humiliating at all. I enjoyed showing my collar off to others, and W/we got some pretty fun comments. Had an old guy come up and ask to borrow the leash for his wife. It was grand. Kids laughed. Older couples laughed. Women gave U/us dirty looks. I wasn't embarrassed, I was proud. I guess I just haven't experienced it yet, but the idea isn't a turn off. I'm pretty curious and eager to give it a shot! I wouldn't consider being walked on a leash to be humiliation either. I rather enjoy it and it makes me feel proud and close to my Master. I think it depends on the individual and what they consider to feel humiliating. To some, walking on a leash would feel humiliating, and to others, not. Likewise for all other things--it's not the actual action, but the feelings and interpretations behind it that make it what it is to somebody.

Servile99 -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (1/30/2012 4:44:47 AM)
The more extreme the better for me. Within reason. Like someone else mentioned "It makes me feel small and vulnerable and completely naked'. It makes me feel weak, humble, and completely under control of the evil, mean, coniving dominant doing this to me.

ChainedExistence -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/5/2012 2:26:31 PM)
I am the quintessential "good girl" who could never comfortably get out of my "good girls don't do this sort of thing" headspace without it. When he slaps me across the face or calls me a whore then I feel almost free to engage in the associated behavior because "that's what a whore would do". It allows me to open my mind and my body up for those things I truly want and desire without interferring with the fascade of my public personna. Maintaining that personna is critical to my occupation, but I desire to step out of that role on a regular basis. I know in my heart that he values me and that anything he says or does in play isn't necessarily indicative of his feelings about who I am. He respects me, but he also knows I need that kind of exchange in order to give permission to myself to be the "bad girl" in the bedroom.

sincelo -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/5/2012 8:49:30 PM)
Why do i like humiliation? This may seem backwards... so hold on to your hat. I like humiliation because it is one of the most intimate acts for me. To perform for him in a way that is pleasing to him but humiliating to me gets me off. It creates this intense mental bond to know that i would not do this under any circumstance but under his power i will: to know that i am nothing above my carnal being. It is raw and it is connected and it is charged.

sheisreeds -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/5/2012 9:32:47 PM)
I like humiliation play because it allows me to confront the emotion of shame head on. Shame is then invalidated by my partner who loves me for what I'm doing. I get to confront things that would have previously led me to feel shameful with a feeling of self satisfaction and pride in my relationship.

81song -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/6/2012 8:08:54 AM)
Well maybe it that I am an ex-Catholic and I survived the beatings the nuns gave us. Then when I got home my Dad would always seemed to be putting me down all the time or maybe when Mom was trying to break wooden spoons over my head. It could be the love hate thing maybe who knows,but yes it’s a turn on

leatherlaceglove -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/6/2012 4:56:32 PM)
I agree with "LovingDomNY". But also, I think it's different for EVERYONE. For some people it's not a healthy outlet...it's all about reliving the ugliness their childhood and the only way that they can feel turned on is if they also feel ugly and stupid and worthless. I find this has been the case most often with children who were sexually abused by family members but especially a parent...and more specifically.... a parent who also abused them verbally....during the act...It's what I did when I was a submissive. For some it's wanting to feel like a failure so that they can scramble to please. I imagine that there are many reasons for that one. For some, it's simply about the kink of feeling like they are invisible....and when you are humiliated...especially if it's in the course of say....also being an ashtray...or a stool.....those I've spoken to find comfort in it..... I think it's important for each submissive who feels that "bent" to first try to understand WHY he/she feels it....and whether or not it's truly a healthy step for them to take...but more importantly? The dom/domme needs to take the time to ask those very same questions.....and my question is why is it that so many of them do not?

LookieNoNookie -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/7/2012 8:56:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MyHazelLabyrinth Hey everyone :) thanks for tuning in...spelling is going to be a bit sketchy on this one i'm afraid. So, basically the thread is finding about what makes you like or drawn or attracted with being humilliated. Degradation is not included in this thread at all, only humilliation. It's delish. Now i know my reasons but i'm still working on it, as i was asked by a kink friend why i like it, and as i've never really been asked it before it stumped me. Because it makes everything fire on all 28 cylinders. So, i'm not asking for ways of humilliation, not interested in that. I'm again asking for people's opinions on why THEY like it. Or why if you don't like it why you think the attraction is there. Because it makes me sing and dance....it makes me full of fire.....it makes me walk on hot fucking burning coals. All views are welcomed, there is no right or wrong here unless you slag on other posters thanks for reading :) (It's what I do). See above.

sunshinemiss -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/7/2012 10:16:19 PM)
It is a common human trait to want to be loved and cared for despite the shadow side of the self. If a person can be accepted for the ugliest, worst, most embarrassing thing that is true about them, there is a freedom that comes from that experience and that acceptance. Like many things that bump up against the human psyche, this one is just magnified and often ritualized within the BDSM community. It's not complex.

Deangelo8 -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/7/2012 10:28:33 PM)
I don't know why I enjoy it, I have thought about that alot but have never come to any true conclusions. The best answer I can give is that I am taking on one of my greatest fears. In my case SPH is the center of it. I think the fetish manifested because of the fear of being seen while not hard. I am definitely a grower (a little less than 2" hard and 5" hard) and I can remember girls at age 13 giggling and making the small penis sign (with the thumb and forefinger) and feeling like I turned bright red everytime I saw it. Then at some point when I saw that it turned me on. I am afraid of heights and love to mess with that fear....So maybe I just get a rush from confronting my fears....All I know is that nothing turns me on more than having a group of women laugh at how small I am.....Not sure I will ever know why for sure.

litmose -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/9/2012 8:48:42 PM)
I believe it's different for everyone. For me, I crave humiliation (and degradation, they go hand in hand for me), but only within a relationship where i am also cared for/loved. I am very critical of myself, and have a hard time accepting unqualified compliments etc. I want someone who sees me at my most humiliated, most reduced, and still wants/cares for me.

velvetears -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/10/2012 6:20:41 PM)
i am a masochist, with sub tendencies and while a beating turns me on physically humiliation turns me on mentally and keeps me in head space longer...... combined wowowowowowowow

AllisonWee79 -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/12/2012 8:54:10 AM)
what's the difference between degradation and humiliation? thought it's the same thing....hmm...

sub4room -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/12/2012 4:06:20 PM)
It feels good!

LookieNoNookie -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/12/2012 4:58:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: velvetears i am a masochist, with sub tendencies and while a beating turns me on physically humiliation turns me on mentally and keeps me in head space longer...... combined wowowowowowowow ZIIIIIING !!!!!!!

RaspberryLemon -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/12/2012 7:55:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AllisonWee79 what's the difference between degradation and humiliation? thought it's the same thing....hmm... Personally I view them as essentially the same thing because they would both produce the same emotional result in me--not a good one, and it would most likely do some psychological damage to me depending on who it was coming from (a stranger putting me down or humiliating me can easily be put from my mind, but if my Master were to do these things to me, it would hurt immensely--what he thinks about me is of utmost importance to me.) However, to other people, humiliation and degradation may be different things to them. Humiliation may be "milder" or produce different feelings or results than what they would consider to be degradation. It's just like everything else, different people have different definitions for it.

SubStudentSF -> RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? (2/28/2012 10:12:48 PM)
As a person who gets off on humiliation I can tell you its actually very interesting as to WHY I enjoy it. I believe most Masochists who enjoy humiliation were subjected to some feeling of helplessness or an inability to express or fulfill ones needs or desires. In my case i was born with 6 fingers and 6 toes that had to be removed which left me in casts that immobilized me for about a year. I also was born with very poor vision and until I wore glasses or contacts I could barley see anything. What this lead to is continuous disappointing experiences. As a baby I must of felt neglected. But what happens is as human beings many of us are so determined to control our own environment that we actually create a strange mirroring paradox. So what the masochist mind actually does in many cases is start to declare that instead of others letting them down (parents ect) that WE will beat them to it and declare that we will seek it out ourselves before someone can let us down again. We begin to make that unpleasant feeling of intense humiliation our own self declared pleasure. After awhile this manifests itself in sexual humiliation. In the end many submissive masochists actually fear losing control more than anyone else. We just put ourselves in that position on our own will before anyone else can do it to us. Subconsciously I would rather defeat myself than take a chance and let someone hurt me w/o me seeking it. now many people wont agree with this but this is just my own case. I am not some fruedian psephologist either lol. but I spent a lot of time examining myself and this to me is the best explanation.

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