if you have a humilliation fetish....why?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

if you have a humilliation fetish....why?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> if you have a humilliation fetish....why?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 8:47:43 AM

MyHazelLabyrinth

Posts: 112
Joined: 8/12/2011
Status: offline

Hey everyone :) thanks for tuning in...spelling is going to be a bit sketchy on this one i'm afraid.

So, basically the thread is finding about what makes you like or drawn or attracted with being humilliated. Degradation is not included in this thread at all, only humilliation.

Now i know my reasons but i'm still working on it, as i was asked by a kink friend why i like it, and as i've never really been asked it before it stumped me.

So, i'm not asking for ways of humilliation, not interested in that. I'm again asking for people's opinions on why THEY like it. Or why if you don't like it why you think the attraction is there.

All views are welcomed, there is no right or wrong here unless you slag on other posters

thanks for reading :)

Post #: 1

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 9:59:53 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

It is not something we would ever do, not our thing. I do not find humiliation hot or a turn on. It make me very sad or angry or both. Puts me in a very bad head space. I am lucky Master is not into that kind of play anyway. If he was i would not be his. .

Matt's littleone

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 2

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:09:24 PM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

To the OP:
Humiliation play for me at first was a big fat no. I couldn't tolerate it because I was never secure enough in any relationship to be able to get passed humiliation play and then wonder if afterwards if I was still seen in the same way. It took a serious relationship to change my mind about trying it. The relationship was solid enough, and the fellow was close enough to me that I felt I could go through anything and it wouldn't alter our relationship in any negative way. So I did it, and it was hard.

It actually developed into a degredation fetish for me later, because simple humiliation no longer gave me the same intense emotional rush, sort of like when a masochist upgrades from a soft floggers to canes and whips.

But the root of it was, it created a very intense experience, one I came to enjoy probably because my brain starts releasing crazy chemicals and I'm just wired that way. There was a secondary effect/liking as well too. After intense scenes of humiliation or degredation, I see the world with a lot more confidence. I've had partners tear apart my most closely guarded defenses, expose my insecurities, and the world did not end, not even close. So there's a lot less fear of any social situation I may encounter out in the world. The people I encounter day to day are unlikely to even scratch the surface of things I can handle now.

< Message edited by ProlificNeeds -- 1/26/2012 1:10:03 PM >

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 3

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:15:59 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Yes, I have a humiliation buzz. But I have very little idea why.

This subject, perhaps more than any other, leads me to believe that dominants are more easily understood than submissives - even for me, someone who *is* a submissive. Dominants make sense. Submissives do not.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 4

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:27:28 PM

LovingDomNY

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/10/2012
Status: offline

From my experiences... some subs are successful in the work place (manager of something.) or have a job where they have to make decisions (as a Dom does sexually.) They have to hire people, fire people... etc... So... That responsibility and power is a very big one. especially if you have to 'let someone go' fire them... and... as a result... they feel guilt and even cruel at times...
So... Some sub's seek the humiliation factor as a way of getting what they feel they deserve. To be treated bad... As they have had to treat others bad in their perspective.
Of course this is not the case for all subs.
Also... of course there are psychological factors from childhood that may make them enjoy it.
Or their Dom may have psychological factors from childhood and the Sub knows and is understanding of this.... And knows by allowing such things 'humilation' to occur that her Dom will bond more with her...
However... These analysis definitely do not define the 'reasoning' behind all situations. But some of them... do. hope that helps a bit...
good question. hard to answer.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 5

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:28:42 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

Yeah, I agree with Peon. I have no idea why I enjoy humiliation.

Most things that I enjoy that would be considered "humiliation" were originally on my hard or soft limits list. But over time, someone pushed me to give it a try, and I found that I actually enjoyed it.

I believe that I have very high self-esteem, and I was never abused as a child. So I am at a total loss for explanations of why I enjoy it. But then again, I can't explain why I enjoy ice cream, or hunting, or music. I just do. Perhaps that is all the explanation that is necessary.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 6

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:32:05 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyHazelLabyrinth

Hey everyone :) thanks for tuning in...spelling is going to be a bit sketchy on this one i'm afraid.

So, basically the thread is finding about what makes you like or drawn or attracted with being humilliated. Degradation is not included in this thread at all, only humilliation.

Now i know my reasons but i'm still working on it, as i was asked by a kink friend why i like it, and as i've never really been asked it before it stumped me.

So, i'm not asking for ways of humilliation, not interested in that. I'm again asking for people's opinions on why THEY like it. Or why if you don't like it why you think the attraction is there.

All views are welcomed, there is no right or wrong here unless you slag on other posters

thanks for reading :)

It makes me feel small and vulnerable and completely naked in a soul-sorta way. It's cathartic at times, too, because I get to let out a lot of energy in going down the hole and them climbing back out again.. the end result leaving me humbled and keeps me from being on my high horse too much or taking myself so seriously (which is a flaw I work on). Also, there's only one place to go from low and that's up.. and that's a high. Mostly, I like to stay level, but the highs and lows are cool in moderation and getting to experience those keeps 'balanced' from being boring.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 7

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 1:59:07 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

I do not have a humiliation fetish, as far as I know, and have a very limited understanding of it in general. I wonder, can those of you that have one/them, can you explain to me exactly what it does to you mentally, emotionally and physically? Does it feel good, exciting, pleasureable?

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 8

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 2:39:04 PM

MSubEdinburgh29

Posts: 29
Joined: 1/3/2012
Status: offline

What appeals to me is a dominate woman who realises the sexual power she has, and exploits it for amusement. I suppose humiliation is an extension of that.

If I don't believe she is getting off on it, then it isn't enjoyable for me either, so the humiliation part of it isn't the driving factor.

(in reply to Duskypearls)

Post #: 9

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 3:16:51 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MSubEdinburgh29

If I don't believe she is getting off on it, then it isn't enjoyable for me either, so the humiliation part of it isn't the driving factor.

Same here. I get no particular satisfaction from humiliation. The same acts that are pleasurable when performed for a dominant woman would be unappealing if I just did them on my own.

So for me, the pleasure is in the submission and the power exchange. I think that performing humiliating acts makes it more obvious that She is in charge, and that I am submitted to Her.

It's easy to kiss her ass, or lick her pussy. I'd do that in a vanilla relationship. But drinking her "golden nectar", or going out in public wearing women's clothes, or letting her "take me for a walk" while wearing a leash and walking on all fours like a dog, are not things that I'd do on my own or in a vanilla relationship. I have to be submitted in order to agree to do them.

I guess that's my final answer. Humiliating acts make me feel more submitted.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 1/26/2012 3:21:41 PM >

(in reply to MSubEdinburgh29)

Post #: 10

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 4:01:32 PM

Kaliko

Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline

I like it because I like the flips my mind has to make when dealing with the emotions and reactions that go along with the act. Actually, I shouldn't say "act" because what I respond more strongly to is if it's directed at me verbally. But yes, some acts, too, are I guess what could be called humiliating.

I only really engaged in it with one man. I'm interested to see what my response is with a different man. Only time will tell, as it is not a way I wish to enter a relationship or what I want to base it on. I would need to be with a trusted partner for some time before starting to go there. Just like so many other aspects of a relationship, I wonder if that will feel different to me, as well, dependent on the man. I can feel how I'm already looking at things differently now that I'm no longer in the D/s relationship I was in. I wonder what else will be different.

Off track musing above, I'm sorry. Back to humiliation. It's mentally and emotionally thrilling for me, like a little roller coaster ride inside my head. I enjoy having to twist my thinking and my perspective to view my actions or what is being done/said to me in a different way. I feel it helps me grow, actually, in a twisted, sick way. :) I like my partner to challenge me - intellectually,...mentally. This is one way for me to be challenged.

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 11

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 5:03:33 PM

Damacis

Posts: 45
Joined: 7/27/2011
Status: offline

Very simple. It turns me on. Why do people like any other fetish? Why do some men prefer ass over breasts or vice versa? Blondes to Brunettes. Big or Small. Some signal in my brain is triggered when I'm humiliated that creates arousal. That's all that really matters.

(in reply to Kaliko)

Post #: 12

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 5:25:03 PM

RexCorvus

Posts: 84
Joined: 11/27/2011
Status: offline

By way of background, I'm a switch who doesn't do any kind of 24/7 activity. So for me D/s is a playtime thing, and not relationship defining. Not sure if that makes a difference, but I can see how it might. I'm also not completely clear on the difference between humiliation and degradation (that's not your fault, I think it's kind of a fuzzy area).

Anyway when I'm submitting humiliation turns me on something fierce. I'm not completely sure why, but I think it's the show of power involved. Normally I wouldn't stand for a person inflicting any kind of humiliation on me, but when I'm subbing I just have to take it. That advertises the domme's power pretty starkly, and that is very attractive to me. It's kind of like getting beaten, which is something that gets a lot of people hot, only mentally and emotionally rather than physically.

When it comes to how far someone can go with humiliation and have me still enjoy it, the answer is "Pretty fucking far". In fact the hottest scenes I've participated in have been ones where my wife (the only person I've played serious humiliation games with) really pushed the envelope, to the point that at the time I was very uncomfortable and embarrassed by what was going on. Even as part of me was rebelling and thinking she'd gone over the line I was out of my mind with lust, and those remain some of my most cherished D/s memories. Whatever the reason, humiliation really puts me in my happy sexy place.

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 13

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 5:29:39 PM

BoxwineForBrunch

Posts: 184
Joined: 11/14/2011
Status: offline

i think the kind of mindset that would lead a woman to want to humiliate me while we play is hot. it takes a combination of coldness, cruelty, imperiousness, and a sense of humor. it isn't so much that i'm "into humiliation" as it is that the appeal for me is that women who are good at humiliation are hot.

_____________________________

you have achieved success. but have you achieved success at success at success?

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 14

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 7:09:46 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

we're into it because Master likes that he can make me do things that I would never ever dream about or have any interest in doing whatsoever. If I wasn't with him there's no way on earth I would have even done the stuff I do to please him.

I do them because I like the authority he has over me and I like making him happy and in the end the reward is much better than the pain of humiliation.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to BoxwineForBrunch)

Post #: 15

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/26/2012 8:54:15 PM

Justyourpet

Posts: 44
Joined: 10/24/2011
Status: offline

Although I don't know if I like flat out humiliation I liked forced because I am being forced to do something that's embarrassing. Also I like being the center of attention :). So I guess I liked the forceful part more than the actual humiliation(maybe regular is same thing).

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 16

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/27/2012 1:04:06 AM

RaspberryLemon

Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

It is not something we would ever do, not our thing. I do not find humiliation hot or a turn on. It make me very sad or angry or both. Puts me in a very bad head space. I am lucky Master is not into that kind of play anyway. If he was i would not be his. .

Matt's littleone

^ This.

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 17

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/27/2012 1:13:26 AM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

Im not into humiliation, it requires shame, and if my Dom wants something from me, theres no shame in doing as he requests...Theres no shame in being submissive or obeying something that he wants...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

Post #: 18

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/27/2012 1:15:44 AM

NyxPontia

Posts: 224
Joined: 1/8/2012
Status: offline

I'm back!

Who missed me?

As for the question at hand, I think the only real 'humiliation' I've experienced was being walked on a leash. But I don't know if that counts because, to me, it wasn't humiliating at all. I enjoyed showing my collar off to others, and W/we got some pretty fun comments. Had an old guy come up and ask to borrow the leash for his wife. It was grand. Kids laughed. Older couples laughed. Women gave U/us dirty looks. I wasn't embarrassed, I was proud. I guess I just haven't experienced it yet, but the idea isn't a turn off. I'm pretty curious and eager to give it a shot!

_____________________________

"Bleeding Is Believing, Bleeding Is Breathing." Natalie Imbruglia

A slave without a collar is just the mammal form of a chicken with it's head cut off.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

Post #: 19

RE: if you have a humilliation fetish....why? - 1/27/2012 7:39:32 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

My answer is similar to that of ProlificNeeds. At first humiliation was really emotionally painful for me, and I hated it and was afraid of it. But then I found myself taking it, and responding to it. I liked that "small" feeling it gave me, and the more he would humiliate me (my former owner), the more I challenged myself to take more.

So like Prolific, it evolved into degradation and went from there. The problem with that was that it ended up being emotionally damaging to me in the long run.

That was in the past, though. The Mister doesn't humiliate me much. I'm not sure how I'd respond to it anymore, since I have changed so much over the years. I think I am much more sensitive to it now.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to MyHazelLabyrinth)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> if you have a humilliation fetish....why?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.093