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Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 12:57:04 AM   
john1doe


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline 		Hello

I need on mistress to take pity on me and allow me to have email communication with her to ask questions about being a sub/slave.

Not looking to meet just talk to better understand how I can please the person I am with and express what I am feeling. In some ways I have never felt this and need help explaining it.

Does this make any sense?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 1:05:43 AM   
MzMinx


Posts: 277
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		why not ask some general questions here?

(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 1:13:24 AM   
john1doe


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline 		i am a little shy and want to open up with someone who knows

(in reply to MzMinx)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 1:15:14 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		WHat MzMinx said.

Also, I'm not clear on this: " better understand how I can please the person I am with" Does that mean you already HAVE a mistress? In that case, I sugest asking HER, since we don't know what will please her.

If that's NOT the case, then feel free to toss those questions out here on the forum, where you'll be able to get a wide variety of responses.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to MzMinx)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 1:16:20 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: john1doe

i am a little shy and want to open up with someone who knows



dude, it's not like any of us know you. You are words on a screen. Relax! post your questions!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 3:36:30 AM   
john1doe


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline 		Start off with an easier one or potentially easier.

We are in the lifestyle when we have time but how do i get her to take ti to the next level? I would like to go further together possibly being tied down for long periods. I want to be able to take care of her needs and dry her upon leaving shower and lotion her.stuff like that.

We both are new and we are reading but need more.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 3:37:47 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		have you talked to her about it? not as a sub/slave, but as a partner? communication is VITAL.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 3:42:05 AM   
john1doe


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline 		I have and part she enjoys it but I dont think she understands completely what it means to me

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 3:43:41 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		is she willing to do these things with you? and before you do the tied down for long periods thing, I recommend that you both do a LOT of research, preferably attend some bondage workshops.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to john1doe)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 4:47:03 AM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline 		Delightful rackage Mz Minxy.

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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 5:41:11 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: john1doe

I have and part she enjoys it but I dont think she understands completely what it means to me


It's YOUR responsibility to tell her what it means to you.  Hopefully she'll listen.  And not meaning to rag on you, but when Greedy mentioned the importance of communication, she'd likely gotten her cue from the fact that some of your posts were less than crystal clear.  You might want to work on learning to communicate clearly.




_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 6:21:52 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		You seem to know what you want from your relationship, tell HER that.
If body worship or caring for her witht he drying/lotion ect are things you enjoy doing, then just plain tell her you would love to perform those services for her.

As for 'next level' I don't rate relationships or BDSM on levels so not sure how to approach that, but if you want a stronger power exchange between the two of you, discuss that too. There's nothing on here that will help you if you don't tell her what you're looking for.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 6:51:39 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

I concur with MzMinx on this one. I found this forum to be a good place to ask questions. Think your questions through; and, you will get well thought answers.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger

_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to MzMinx)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 8:01:50 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: john1doe

i am a little shy and want to open up with someone who knows


That's a bunch of crap. There is shy and then there is handicapped. You are trying to come off handicapped shy to get a woman other than your dominant to talk about pleasing another dominant. That's a bunch of crazy.

Help me, helpless, can't talk to anyone in public about this... help me, helpless, I need another woman to tell me how to do things to my woman... that this domina doesn't believe you could have with your helpless shy handicap and lack of communication skills. I call this a late night... I've a hard on and want a sexy dominant woman to talk about sexy and kinky things with me and no one will answer my emails.

What makes you think that another domina is going to talk to an attached man and risk the drama there, by talking privately about sexy, kinky things, late at night, because he is shy, can't talk and do it simply because he is help me helpless? Do you think we're stupid?

At thirty eight years old... if this is where you are stuck even as a newbie to all 'this', there's a bigger problem than being able to talk about kinky things with someone you are already sexual with.


_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 9:50:13 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		OP - here's a booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

All - can anyone recommend a book that they think would be particularly useful for the OP?

(in reply to john1doe)
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RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 10:57:38 AM   
john1doe


Posts: 5
Joined: 1/29/2012
Status: offline 		Please go back to the original post and you will note I wasnt looking to post my questions and thoughts on here because they are not complete. I have a lot of questions but after being told this would be a great format, I now know this is not accurate.

Thank you for the warm welcome.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 11:03:58 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: john1doe

Please go back to the original post and you will note I wasnt looking to post my questions and thoughts on here because they are not complete.
Then why did you say it was because you were shy? And if your thoughts are not complete here, how is anyone going to answer them anyplace else?

I have a lot of questions but after being told this would be a great format, I now know this is not accurate.
I am not sure how anyone is supposed to help you if you won't ask the questions.



_____________________________

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to john1doe)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Need Help..sub/slave questions - 1/29/2012 11:12:11 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		My Knyt says that I'm the Dr. Laura Schlessinger of the boards, thinking I sum something up without a lot of facts and typically call something well, but could be off because of the lack of facts to go on and then give my often harsh summation. He tends to agree with me, but I do sometimes have to explain where I am coming from. So with that in mind and knowing many may think I am a toxic bitch...

The op comes in late Saturday night on a new profile he just created. He has a partner of some sort, new to the lifestyle as he is and he wishes to isolate a dominant woman, not his partner to discuss how he might please his partner. Then he proceeds to tell us how he wants to bring her to the next level and do things to him so that he gets more enjoyment. Now, being somewhat kind or generous, I can give him a couple of points that might allow for his focus somehow being on how his partner will enjoy these things... I do have my doubts considering the time and things he suggested, rather than other things he could have focused on and suggested... like how he might serve her wine and cheese in bed or something equally as wonderful when found in a submissive. He didn't and I do have to admit that, that stands out further in my mind. It seems to me, not being so generous of domina or toxic bitch heart, he is focused on the next level actually pleasing himself. (Actually he did mention putting lotion on her after her shower... but naked women and touching is more sexual enjoyment than say... bringing her coffee and crumpets or something not so sexually titillating and everything he did mention had a sexual overtone of some sort.)

Wanting to go private on a late Saturday night on a new profile... with another woman to talk about kinky things, just sounds like a lot of the emails we domina's get from guys wanting to play a bit rather than actually get some information. Being shy on a board where no one knows who he really is and cannot know, with a new profile that hides him from even his own partner... gee... sounds like a gimmick to get a lone domina, silly in all her ways, in private more than he wants information on how to manipulate his partner into doing what he wants. How difficult is it to ask for information on a public board, with hidden identity and really... I mean really... is it harder to do in this manner rather than one on one in email?

< Message edited by Lockit -- 1/29/2012 11:46:35 AM >

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 18
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