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Monday - Ponderances - 10/25/2004 12:04:00 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eatthe next thing that comes outta it's butt."

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (can you say 405/rush hour)

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on...

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Remember Superman? When the bad guys shot him in the chest, the bullets just bounced off but, when the gun was empty and it was thrown at him - He ducked. Go figure.

Post #: 1

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/25/2004 7:56:56 PM

lilninotchka

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Not sure...maybe the first one with a lactation fetish?

quote:

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eatthe next thing that comes outta it's butt."

That would have been the first one into coprophilia (is that the right -ophilia?)

quote:

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

'I' am the only one who doesn't care...

quote:

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (can you say 405/rush hour)

Most definitely!!

quote:

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Pointing to the crotch is reserved for when they ask for the 'true slaves'...

quote:

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Pluto is erectile challenged?

quote:

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

He was obviously a masaochist!

quote:

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

No place for young girls!!

quote:

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Obviously the same place motor oil comes from...

quote:

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Where did you think they learned to read??

quote:

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Breath mints for you may be in order here...

i think maybe i should have gone to bed...lol

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 2

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/26/2004 2:16:42 PM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

you ever notice that the phone number for hooked on phonics was abcdefg... for christsakes these people can't read!

(in reply to lilninotchka)

Post #: 3

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/27/2004 7:52:10 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

This one is gonna sound too corny to be true, but I swear it really happened:

On the wall of the subway platform in NYC, there was a poster -

ILLITERATE? WRITE FOR HELP!

and then went on to give a government address where this person, who presumably cannot read, can write to for help with not being able to read.

Our tax dollars at work

< Message edited by Thanatosian -- 10/27/2004 7:54:07 AM >

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Post #: 4

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/27/2004 7:55:54 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

along the lines of the cow and the chicken;

Who was the first person to say - "I think I'm gonna lick that frog and see if I can get high."

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Post #: 5

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/29/2004 12:37:33 PM

srahfox

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

Have you ever seen a kiwi. I love them but who the hell first looked at them and went... I could eat that.???

(in reply to Thanatosian)

Post #: 6

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/29/2004 4:03:37 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
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A kiwi is nothing. What about a durian? Ugh!

~stef

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Post #: 7

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/29/2004 4:12:09 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

A kiwi is nothing. What about a durian? Ugh!

I love kiwi and it looks so nice sliced with a fruit salad. I think we had durian when we were in Indonesia, can't remember if i liked it or not. Is that the one that looks like a giant grapefruit?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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Post #: 8

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/29/2004 4:25:58 PM

stef

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It looks somewhat like a spiky football and has the most incredibly awful smell. If you ever had one, you would almost certainly remember it.

~stef

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Post #: 9

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 10/29/2004 8:22:35 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? (can you say 405/rush hour)

OOO OOOO I can answer this one. In California, a corpse doesn't count. It has to be a living human. For good reason too! I'd happily rent a corpse to get through the 405/101 split in LA.

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Post #: 10

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 11/1/2004 11:11:47 AM

srahfox

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Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

hehe and yet still people will eat it. It's like, eww, this tastes awful.. try it. Most people will.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 11

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 11/1/2004 12:02:42 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

It looks somewhat like a spiky football and has the most incredibly awful smell. If you ever had one, you would almost certainly remember it.

Ok i do remember seeing those but didn't try one. So what is the fruit that looks like a giant grapefruit?

< Message edited by proudsub -- 11/1/2004 12:03:12 PM >

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 12

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 11/1/2004 1:00:51 PM

stef

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Joined: 1/26/2004
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I have no idea. Maybe it *is* a giant grapefruit

~stef

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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Post #: 13

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 11/4/2004 11:45:43 AM

Shdw3507

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

More to the point to me, If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, Then why dose he keep doing it?
Some people ask why there is brail on the drive through atm but i am curiouse why there is brail on them at all, even though they can read the keys they can not read the screen.
_Pete_

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 14

RE: Monday - Ponderances - 11/4/2004 4:02:02 PM

blushes4u

Posts: 278
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline

Better yet, if they can only read braille they must be blind...why are they driving thru the atm?

(in reply to Shdw3507)

Post #: 15

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