quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus

When one shares their submissive with others, are there ever issues that the Dom/me ever problems getting over? In effect I mean like jealousy or feelings of not being good enough? I am just curious if this is something that is common? thanks all

quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus
When one shares their submissive with others, are there ever issues that the Dom/me ever problems getting over? In effect I mean like jealousy or feelings of not being good enough? I am just curious if this is something that is common? thanks all

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: dincubus
When one shares their submissive with others, are there ever issues that the Dom/me ever problems getting over? In effect I mean like jealousy or feelings of not being good enough? I am just curious if this is something that is common? thanks all

First I want to compliment you on your courage of bringing this to the forum.  I recalled your post of indicating a first time experience and remember thinking you are in for more of a learning experience than you realized.  We so often hear from the gived side of the coin.  Those have been given or to be given have shared alot of different view points on the issue.  But, what about the giver?  So often the giver's issues are without consideration or thought by alot of people.

I have been sharing alandra for several years.  But, it wasn't something that happened over night.  I think it's important that you understand that the issue resides within you and not your girl.  Jealousy is rooted in your own perceptions of insecurity of the relationship.  Just as the trust you have for your girl is rooted in your own perceptions of your relationship.  The question is which perceptions are you going to listen to... remember it's your choice.  Any individual can pick apart their own relationship if they choose to.  You can look at any singular behavior that occur's and allow it to undermind the strength of trust you have built in your relationship.  OR you can choose to validate that trust you have built in the relationship and the experiences you share together.

I believe it important to underestand that have to look at your beleifs that are generate some of the jealousy feelings.  Many individuals, Dominant or submissive's in a relationship hold on to a fundamental belief that they are the "Everything" for their partner or their partner is "Their Everything".  This belief will undermined any acts of sharing of any type.  How can you be their everything if they are having so much fun with that person?  How can they be your "everything" if they can enjoy giving to others?  Now there is nothing wrong with this belief for those that hold to a monogamist lifestyle.  However, such a belief is counter productive within open relaitonships and poly lifestyle.  As a person that lives a poly lifestyle, I recognize that I can't be the everything to my girls or they to me.  However, we can share everything!  I can enjoy the expeiences they have directly or indirectly.  As they can enjoy mine, directly or indirectly.  The deeper your activities of open and/or poly relationship lifestyle, the further you must distance yourself of being their everything and they your everything.  Just share everything.

As I said, I have shared alandra in a great variety of ways.  However, I haven't shared kyra.  To be honest I am not ready to share her in any way.  It has nothig to do with trust!, for I trust her very deeply.  It is just somethings take time to share in.  We are very new together and the distance make it difficult to have many physical experiences together.  But, as we journey together and share things together, we build a relationship on sharing and being vulnerable to one another.  This for me is the fundamental motivations of being in a relationship.  To Share who I am, to have someone Share Who they are with me.  I am not their everything, they are not my everything, but we share everything of ourselves slowly and carefully as we grow closer together.

Ask yourself... Are you happy that you shared this experience with her?  Would you want to have this experience with just anyone?  Was this experience special for you? and her?  Did you grow from the experience?  Are you a better person for the experience?  Ask yourself positive questions.... avoid the negative.  Validate the experience.... do not undermind it!