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lizi -> RE: Rant? (2/4/2012 10:28:48 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: slvemike4u
WOW,that's all I got....WOW,and oh yeah as a single parent who raised his own wildly successful son(yes in some case Daddy just might wind up with the child,and fight like a motherfucker for that joy)a real big kiss heading your way....this made me cry with joy,really [:)]
[:)]
Thanks, I teared a bit reading your reaction because you know what it was like then. I've never thought of myself as particularly brave or forceful but I got the job done when I knew I needed to, the buck had no one to pass on to. I had the biggest reason in the world motivating me- him. Upon getting his beret my son told me I was the reason he was there that graduation day with it on his head. That I taught him how to work hard, to keep working, and most importantly, when and how to dig down and never give up. He said I taught him how to fight. Me. That's hard for me to imagine quite honestly. I was a little girl barely out of her 20's. I feel awkward about putting it out there what he told me, but I think it's important because see, I never knew I could do these things, and I want Lithium to take the ball and run with it and get shit done.
She's starting to see what she's made of- there's no telling where she might go with it - hugs.
Congrats sm4u, I remember your thread on your son, he's quite the guy. You must over the moon about him[:D]. It's just so cool when we see fruition and those pesky hopes and dreams actually come true.
Lithium, your kids need a place to flower, how can they with the crap you described all around them? They're absorbing that. Take them somewhere where you can show them how decent people act, and how to work- not how to bully and take advantage of others. If you can't get away then minimize as much as you can what they're seeing in the dysfunction from their father. Speaking as a one-time elementary school teacher, kids absorb much more of what they see done, or what is modeled for them, then what they hear. They watch how people act.
Also this....human beings tend to rise to what is expected of them. They see a level and get there and often don't go any further. If they get the idea that not much is expected from looking at their father and whoever, they might never get anywhere else. I left when my son was 1 year old. That bus ride from NV to CA was hell. I'd found a roommate prior to leaving who went first and got us a place to live - then T and I left on the bus with our 1 suitcase. He never had further chances to see how to be a lazy drug-using SOB from his father. Instead he saw me get up every day and work like a dog getting us through our daily life instead and holding his tiny little ass to be responsible for whatever he should be doing.
Frosted Flake has some serious mojo when it comes to bad situations and bad people, listen to him. If he says your ex reminds him of his dad freaking listen to him and get the kids out. His Dad is one of the scariest people I've ever heard of. Don't taint your kids anymore by letting their father and his network have contact with them. I know I'm beating this into the ground, but you've heard it now from several people in different situations because they're seeing the hopeless quality of ever getting out from under the crap. How can you ever hope to give your kids that level playing field to get anywhere unless you aren't there with all of the taint around them?
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