have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (Full Version)

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BoxwineForBrunch -> have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 4:47:39 PM)

a few years ago, i had a close friendship with a remarkable woman who loved playing on top. we played together from time to time, though it never turned into anything serious, we were always just close friends. eventually she started dating a guy who was subbing to her, and he had this fantasy where she would give some other dude--some dude who was physically stronger than him and who also had great hair*--orders and have him beat the boyfriend up kind of like that scene in venus in furs. she thought it was hot too, and thought of me immediately. it seemed like an okay idea, and they were springing for an expensive dinner and some ridiculous cocktails beforehand, so i was all in. the way things played out was: i had a pretty good time, she had a really good time, her boyfriend (whose idea it all was really in the first place) did not have a good time. in fact, it apparently turned into an Issue for them in the coming months right up until they finally broke up.

now this isn't the only time an idea that has seemed craaaazy hot in theory has turned out disastrously for me in practice. it just happens to be the example in which i am in no way at fault and come out looking the best so it is the story i have chosen to tell. has anybody else had experiences where reality and fantasy collide in horrifying (and/or hilarious) ways?

===============

* he probably didn't actually say he wanted a guy with great hair. it's just, you know, he was balding and i have great hair.



RedMagic1 -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 4:52:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BoxwineForBrunch
it just happens to be the example in which i am in no way at fault

Not to be an utter dick about this, but I would never allow myself to believe I had no responsibility toward a situation that led to the breakup of a friend's relationship. You might want to elevate your definition of personal responsibility.

I don't have any horrifying stories. I do know that I don't enjoy receiving strapon, even though I find some Fm strapon porn hot. Tried it with two different partners, made me nauseous afterward both times, with no benefits that outweighed the negatives. Hot in theory, lame in practice.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 4:55:07 PM)

I wonder why somebody would not enjoy being physically assaulted.



BoxwineForBrunch -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:01:00 PM)

quote:

Not to be an utter dick about this, but I would never allow myself to believe I had no responsibility toward a situation that led to the breakup of a friend's relationship. You might want to elevate your definition of personal responsibility.


everyone involved made their own decisions. everyone was perfectly aware going in what was going to be happening. it is unfortunate that the dude she was with, who was a pretty okay guy all things considered, was unable to deal with emotional fallout from seeing his own fantasy actualized. it's too bad that eventually contributed to the dissolution of a relationship. my sense of personal responsibility includes making decisions i think are rational and moral given the information i am presented with.

sometimes bad things happen even when everybody involved has behaved in good faith. it was either socrates or judd nelson in the breakfast club who pointed out, "the world's an imperfect place. screws fall out all the time." years ago it was sad when they broke up, and i certainly would not have been glib about it back then when the emotions were still ragged and raw. now, everyone involved is capable of recognizing it for the absurd, blackly comic scenario it turned into.



Fornica -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:13:40 PM)

I don't think you have any fault in it. Fuck that noise, you were invited, and did what they wanted. Not your fault they didn't like the result.
And for the record, I think it's funny as hell :D



BoxwineForBrunch -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:22:58 PM)

at last, a voice of reason! <3
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I don't think you have any fault in it. Fuck that noise, you were invited, and did what they wanted. Not your fault they didn't like the result.
And for the record, I think it's funny as hell :D





Fornica -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:25:56 PM)

Also, the stories I could tell you of things I did that I thought sounded freaking amazing, but ended up in disaster could fill a book ;)



DarkSteven -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:26:39 PM)

I can't recall play scenarios in which the play itself didn't pan out, but I can remember some in which the other player didn't mesh with me.



BootyBoy -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:39:36 PM)

Actually, all my "disconnect" scenes with Dommes.

That's where I never really make a true connection personality wise, but somehow got far enough to try some play. So, instead of things being really hot everything just hurts, and when it doesn't hurt, I just feel disconnected and bored. I can remember a few of those that seemed to go on for hours and hours non-arousing of torture. Not safewordable stuff, just prolonged discomfort punctuated by short bursts of pain. The problem is that I always feel like I owe the Domme at least one good session for her trouble. I end up driving home really sore and wondering what I could have been thinking.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:39:53 PM)

I don't think I've ever tried anything with my Master that ended badly or turned out to be a poor decision. There are things we've done and that he has me do that I don't particularly enjoy, but I do them anyway and I enjoy pleasing him and making him happy with these things and so in the end I do not consider this to constitute a poor decision in any way. 



NocturnalStalker -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 5:52:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoxwineForBrunch

at last, a voice of reason! <3
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

I don't think you have any fault in it. Fuck that noise, you were invited, and did what they wanted. Not your fault they didn't like the result.
And for the record, I think it's funny as hell :D





It was more of a voice that told you what you wanted to hear. 



Fornica -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 6:06:32 PM)

Are you ever just..cheerful? Do you enjoy anything? Does anything make you laugh at all?



xssve -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 6:38:31 PM)

Well it was his fantasy, your role was peripheral, you were just an actor playing a part, most likely that was just a set up for the actual fantasy which had to do with her response to the whole thing, sympathy or something that he didn't communicate to her and when she didn't react the same way as she was supposed to in his fantasy it turned ugly.

So it goes, dragging a third person into a relationship in any way is asking for trouble of myriad varieties, even regular threesome fans tend to develop pretty elaborate rules, and they still go bad about as often as they go well. If there are deep emotions attachments and/or insecurities involved, it can be very tricky stuff, the third person becomes a catalyst.

I had a bunch of friends once lived in this big old farmhouse, "Animal House" (that should date it, pre-AIDS), non-stop party, and strange people were always dropping in out of nowhere - one of the crew was the Playboy, good looking, charming, wealthy family, closest thing we have to a "Beautiful People" we have around here anyway, and he always had a hot chick hanging with him, nice guy actually - anyway, this girl just wanders in one day, good looking motherfucker too, and fucks everybody in the house, singly and in groups, every room, everywhere - and this goes on for like a week - everybody except the Playboy - wouldn't let him touch her. Lol, everybody thought that was pretty fucking funny.

Maybe some history there, hard to say, he'd just turn beet red if anybody mentioned it.



DesFIP -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 7:05:43 PM)

Wax play. He wanted to try it, he thought it would be hot. I agreed but was "meh, I'll do it for you". Afterward, he was "well that was a waste of a good hour" and I was "can we do it again, huh, can we?".

Not a poor decision, per se. Just a surprising result.

The poor decision was when he decided to do some humiliation to see if it made me hot. Made me lock myself in the bathroom and never want to come out. Took months of reassurance before I could handle what we had been doing prior to that. Basically, we started play all the way back at the very beginning, very light and fluffy variety because anything more intense was too much for me to handle.



sunshinemiss -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 8:04:37 PM)

There was an entire year I wouldn't mind washing away from my past but ah well... we all do the best we can at the time.



littlewonder -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 10:00:37 PM)

poor decision? No...not all that great, kinda boring or just not that hot or simply didn't work out the way we wanted? Sure, I've had a few. You live and learn and try something else.



Endivius -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 10:22:53 PM)

I have had many times when the fantasy did not live up to the reality. I've had a lot more times when the reality blew the fantasy out of the water.



NocturnalStalker -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/1/2012 11:22:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Are you ever just..cheerful? Do you enjoy anything? Does anything make you laugh at all?


I'm the happiest guy I know.



FrostedFlake -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/2/2012 1:52:50 AM)

Hell yes. How does that old saw go? "You show me a man who has never made a mistake and I'll show you a ..." You know how the rest goes.

quote:

Boxwine
my sense of personal responsibility includes making decisions i think are rational and moral given the information i am presented with.


I believe that. And no more can be hoped for, discounting precognition. If you are looking for a hug to get over the lingering regrets, I think that can be arranged.

But where you saying another thing?

Edit : Speling.



Casssy -> RE: have you ever engaged in play that sounded hot but turned out to be a poor decision? (2/2/2012 2:01:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Endivius

I have had many times when the fantasy did not live up to the reality. I've had a lot more times when the reality blew the fantasy out of the water.

I have had so many of the first that I get truly amazed when I find any of the second.



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